Christina Ricci / Beck
December 4, 1999

Let's tune this mutha out.

I encourage you all to visit Jordan Davidson's SNL message board. The
address escapes me at the moment, but it's on Sean's page of links under the
"Miscellaneous" section. You can post whatever you want about the show, or
about trivia or anything. Of course, Sean has his own message board on the
site, but...uh, Jordan's board has green lettering! So there!

Ah, Christina Ricci. An actress I've grown up with, and now she's hosting
SNL. I remember watching her as the freaky daughter in Mermaids,
then as the freaky daughter in Addams Family, then as the freaky
girl in Sleepy Hollow. That's one hell of a career. All kidding
aside, she is a pretty capable actress and hopefully she can do comedy. I'm
looking forward to Beck, and he will probably be in a sketch or two, as

[COLD OPENING] Clinton disses the Republicans
* Mistake #1; somebody drops a boom mike. Lorne will have that guy's ass
canned by Sunday.
* Finally, a good opening sketch. Hammond is so good as Clinton its scary.
It'll be a shame to see him go after the season, because Clinton is
probably the most consistently funny character on
SNL. There's just something about a lech of a president that makes the
writers drool.
* The disses on the Republican candidates were pretty good. I would
suspect that Al Gore is going to win the election in 2000, based on these
* GREAT LINE ALERT: "I am fairly a sure a dead mule could beat their top
man. We don't have a dead mule, we have Al Gore."-- Darrell Hammond, as
RATING: ****1/4

[MONOLOGUE] Christina Ricci
* I never noticed how remarkably short Christina Ricci is. The camera had
to pan down just to make her look a respectable size.
* Clever idea for a monologue. The resemblance between Rachel and Ricci is
rather uncanny.
RATING: ***7/8

[SKETCH] The Spartan Cheerleaders at the holiday parade
* Spartans! Haven't seen them in ages (Not counting the aborted bit that
started the Garth Brooks show). They've still got it.
* Jimmy and Cheri were sure swapping some spit, weren't they? Not unlike
most teen couples at my school. GET A ROOM.
* Roberto Clemente high My dad is (was?) a huge fan of Roberto Clemente.
* I really noticed Christina Ricci's height now. Will was taller than her
by at least 18 inches.
* Ricci might have been a bit too good as the frosty bitch. The crowd just
died for her lines.
GREAT LINE ALERT: "I get called flag a lot, minus the 'L'."-- Will Ferrell,
as Craig
RATING: ***7/8

[SKETCH/COMMERCIAL] So This is Chanukah
* Time for that SNL trademark, the multiple impersonation sketch! A funny
one, too.
* The list of random artists on the album (Korn, Waylon Jennings, etc.) was
pretty funny.
* Of all the impressions, Molly was dead-on as Tori Amos. The worst was
probably Parnell as Bing Crosby. It wasn't that bad an impression, just
poor compared to the others.
* Tim Meadows gets an honourable mention just for using the phrase
'Hanunkah bush.'
* Let's just say that if Colin Quinn is right, then Kattan playing Ricky
Martin was very apt. :)
* GREAT LINE ALERT: "Chanukah is the time of year when we forgive our
Jewish friends for killing our Lord."-- Christina Ricci, as Britney Spears.
RATING: ****1/4

[SKETCH] Who Wants to Eat?
* Okay, this is a blatant rip-off of an article in The Onion from just this
past week. The Onion, if you didn't know, is a satirical newspaper that
makes up all kinds of funny stuff. Check the Nov.30/Dec.1 edition of the
Onion at www.theonion.com to see for yourself.
* Despite the rip-off, it's still a funny idea...in bad taste, yes, but
it's still a funny idea.
* I liked the bit at the end: "Can I still have the bowl of rice?" "No, we
fed it to the goat."
* GREAT LINE ALERT: "Remember; you're playing for a goat."-- Darrell
RATING: ***3/4

[SKETCH] Taxicab Confessions
* Better idea for a sketch; the mistress of the president of HBO gets in
the taxi and starts sounding off about his lousy performance in the sack, or
something along those lines.
* Ricci's character reminded me of Jodie Foster's hooker in Taxi

* Ah, Tim. Getting turned on by twenty-year old girls. When will he ever
RATING: ***5/8

[CARTOON] Fun with Real Audio
* In the words of Chandler...could this have BEEN less funny? Smiegel,
what happened?
* The only redeeming quality was Sally Jesse Raphael as the anti-christ.
RATING: **1/2

* Several good bits in this Update. I enjoyed the stories about the
crack-addicted Mets fan, and the continued bashing of the Republican party.
* Will's bit was okay, but nothing special. Colin looked somewhat pissed
that Will insulted his tagline at the end of the broadcast.
RATING: ****

* Beck is performing some song that I've never heard, but it sounds oddly
like Marvin Gaye.
* I'm not sold on Beck. He's one of these guys who seems to be so
unstylish that he's cool, but he takes it too far. He's so consciously
unstylishly cool that he's uncool. Still with me?
RATING: ***1/4

[SKETCH] Goth Talk
* The best Goth Talk sketch since Jim Breuer left the cast. It's odd how
the biggest hole he left was his supporting role in a sketch. Goth Talk
needs his jackass brother character.
* The video about the Mickey Mouse phone was WAY over the top. I mean, the
character would have been what, fifteen or sixteen in 1996? Even I would
have beaten a kid up for acting like that. I mean, he's just so damn geeky.
* Here's an idea for a sketch; why not just have Azrael and Cerce idolize
Christina Ricci because they think she's Goth, but she just turns out to be
* Azrael Abyss is a damn cool name.
RATING: ***3/4

[SKETCH] Sally, Save Me From My Wild Teen
* This was terrible. Worst sketch of the year. The problem was that it
wasn't drastically different from what you see on Sally's show anyway.
* I still don't find Christina Ricci all that good-looking, but she does
have nice legs.
* The only funny parts of the sketch was Parnell's voiceover about Sally
getting her wardrobe from Clowntown, and the guests of the show that stay in
dog cages.

* This is "Sex Laws," the first single off of Beck's new album. It's an
okay song.
* Seriously, are all of the songs on this album upbeat, techno-funk songs?
How odd.
RATING: ***1/2

[TRIBUTE] Madeline Kahn
* This was a nice touch. I wish it had been longer than 10 seconds, but it
was still classy.
* Rent Blazing Saddles and Young Frankenstein sometime, if
you want to see how funny Madeline Kahn was. These are Mel Brooks movies,
back when Brooks was funny.

ACTORS OF THE NIGHT: Will Ferrell, Chris Kattan, Molly Shannon
SKETCHES OF THE NIGHT: So This is Chanukah; Clinton disses the Republicans
WORST SKETCHES OF THE NIGHT: Sally, save me from my wild teen; Fun with Real
LINE OF THE NIGHT: "(Al Gore) is as dull as missionary sex with someone you
know."-- Darrell Hammond, as Bill Clinton
BUSIEST CAST MEMBER: Will Ferrell (4 sketches)
NUMBER OF NOTICABLE MISTAKES: The boom mic at the beginning of the Clinton

Hard show to figure. There was some pretty funny stuff, but it was
cancelled out by the awful cartoon and that awful closing sketch. It ends
up being pretty average. Christina Ricci was an okay host, but Beck was a
little disappointing this time. He wasn't in any sketches, either.

Next week is Danny DeVito as the host, which is a little disappointing,
because I thought we were going to get Jim Carrey. I'm sure Jim will make a
guest appearance, likely in the Andy Kaufman character. Musical guests are
R.E.M., who are a good band. They're my friend
Trevor's favourite group, so I'll have to remind him to watch on Saturday.
That's all folks.

Episode Review written by Mark Polishuk

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