Oh boy it's been an exciting weekend.. Last night I scream myself hoarse
cheering for my school's improv team as they made it to the Southern Ontario
finals. (No, I wasn't on the team, improv is really my weakness; I usually
need a bit of time to think about stuff to make it funny. I was voted class
champion for yelling out suggestions, though.) And just before the show
started I scream myself hoarse again watching Toronto Raptor hero Vince
Carter win the NBA Slam Dunk competition with the five coolest dunks I've
ever seen in my life. Naturally, I was afraid my voice would hurt too much
to laugh at tonight's show. It did. But I'm a gamer, so I never let a
little pain stop me from whatever I'm doing, and I'm here for all of my
"fans."

Now, I gathered 100 of my closest friends, and asked them whether they'd
rather see a review of the Julianna Margulies episode, or a recitation of
Hamlet's soliloquy. For those who voted for the soliloquy-thanx again, Mom
and Dad! But we know what you really wanna see, so I won't waste any more
time.

To be, or not to.. I mean "Overview" ­ I've often said that my TV viewing
schedule consists of three things: comedy, sports and ER. It'll be sad to
see Julianna go, but I guess that makes this the ideal time for her to host.
When our roving reporter asked DMX why he chose that name, he replied,
"I've always been a big fan of the alphabet."

A Message From Hillary ­ Very amusing. Not as funny as it could have been,
but I'll give it an okay grade, because I'm easy.. going. B

Monologue ­ I've been watching ER for a while, and I still can't put that
string of medical jargon together. I liked the Special Veterinary Unit
piece, but maybe that was just my wishful thinking that Julianna will find
work next year. B+

Litter Critters ­ See my Heather Graham review.

Bird Family ­ This is very disturbing, but I have to give points for their
willingness to do this. And under the circumstances, that deserves a lot of
points. A

Fashion week at E! ­ Good overall, but the highlight for me was Horatio's
Elton John impression. This coming from a guy who is KNOWN for looking and
sounding exactly like Elton, I've gotta say it's one of the best I've ever
seen. B

Simma Da Na (ie. the sketch that my spellchecker hates) ­ Reminds me of my
beef with the Ontario health system, when I had to wait an hour to get four
stitches on my chin last summer. Overall, not too bad. B

Animal Planet ­ Blooper: Although he makes a good effort in trying to hide
it, you can see that Kattan still has a left ear. This was good, but it
ended pretty abruptly. I guess the animals ran out of body parts to snack
on. B-

Weekend Update ­ Good update, Cheri's character got really irritating,
though. B

DMX ­ Here's a fun activity. Find someone on the street, anyone at all.
Show them a performance by DMX. Ask them if they can do the exact same
thing. Show no surprise at all as they do. D-

Impotence Commercial ­ I was not able to take any notes on this sketch.
That's because I was on the floor, laughing my ass off. My mom came in and
thought I was having a seizure. Genius writing, right here. A+

Savin' It ­ Not too bad, considering the entire joke was in the last minute.
B-

DMX ­ I finally found out what "DMX" stands for. D is for "dumb," M is for
"music," and X is that sound we make right before we throw up. D-

Those Guys At The Bar ­ Funny, I like Beavis and Butt-head episodes more
often when Beavis and Butt-head are in them. C-

Shatner Sings ­ The funny thing is, I can actually see William Shatner
telling a story like this. B-

Overall ­ A really solid show, to be honest. I came in with a mild sore
throat, and now my voice is completely gone. They must have done something
right. A-

Next week: Ben Affleck and Fiona Apple. I saw a picture of Ben on crutches
in this week's Enquirer.. I hope it doesn't affect his performance. I like
Fiona, but I honestly didn't know she still had a career. So, until then,
buh-bye.

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