Tobey Maquire / Sisqo
April 15, 2000

Happy tax day everyone! Hope you guys all paid Uncle
Sam (I paid my taxes two weeks ago..it pays to have
your dad as your accountant).

Well, on to the review....

Pre-show thoughts: I liked Tobey in 'Cider House
Rules'(I don't know why he didn't get nominated for an
Oscar for that role). And the only other thing I have
seen him in is 'Pleasantville'(I didn't like that
movie). Even though he seems to be more of a dramatic
actor, I think he will fare well

OPENING ('SNL Rules'): I thought this was a pretty
good opening. I loved the cast members in their roles,
esp. Chris as the mock 'Fuzzy' (the only reason why I
remember that name is because the kid who plays
'Fuzzy' in 'Cider House' plays 'Dewey' on 'Malcolm in
the Middle'). I also liked the line 'you princes of
NBC, you kings of late night'. GRADE: A-.

MONOLOGUE: I don't know why they use a non-cast member
as the heckler. The only part I liked about this was
the Jar-Jar Binks line. GRADE: B.

SKETCH ('Celebrity Jeopardy'): I was jumping for joy
when I saw this sketch come on...I have never hated
this sketch and I don't think I ever will. Of course,
this wouldn't be a 'CJ' sketch without Darrell's Sean
Connery....I loved Tobey as Keanu ('I know Kung Fu')
and Jimmy as Hilary Swank (was the Southern accent
necessary though?). One of the best 'CJ' sketches
ever. GRADE: A.

SKETCH ('Simma Down'..Fast): I missed the first half
of this sketch because the weatherman from the 10pm
news wanted to interrupt to tell us about some
thunderstorms in the area. It switched back to the
show right when Horatio threw a fit and left the
counter. What I saw of the sketch was hilarious.
There wasn't a moment of this sketch that I didn't
like...I liked Cheri as 'NADINE', Tobey as the
manager, and Rachel, Tim and Ana (loved her saying
'Figurine') as the customers.

CARTOON: I am not fan of the cartoons (the only one I
have really liked is the Mr T. one from the Ben
Affleck episode). So what was I doing during most of
this sketch? Brushing my teeth. GRADE: D.

SKETCH (Inside the Actor's Studio w/Screech): Anyone
in their early and mid-20s definitely remembers 'Saved
By The Bell'. Who didn't get up on Saturday mornings
in the early '90s to watch it? Who doesn't remember
the actor known as 'Screech'? Who here thought Tobey
is a dead-ringer for him? Will as
whoever-he's-suppose-to-be was OK, but Tobey as
Screech...the voice and the facial expressions...I
couldn't stop laughing. GRADE: A.

SKETCH (The Atteburys): This sketch was yawn city. I
didn't like it. It was more appropriate for the '10
minute curse' portion of the show. It was boring,
stupid, pointless...I usually find Will to be amusing
in many of his sketches. This definitely wasn't one of
them. And Ana's voice was really annoying. GRADE: C-.

WEEKEND UPDATE: This was the week of the Weekend
Update that seemed to NEVER end. Was it me or was this
week's WU really long? But I thought the jokes were
fabulous (better than a lot of weeks). Cheri as the
erotic shop owner was OK...but I was cracking up at
Molly and Chris K's Angelina Jolie and her brother
(whatever his name is). Chris was a dead-ringer for
the brother, esp the facial expressions. GRADE: A-.

MUSICAL GUEST: Who hasn't heard this song a
trillion-times-a-week? No grade though.

SKETCH (A REALLY flexible Yoga class): This was OK..I
liked Tobey as the yoga instructor and Tim, Rachel,
Molly, and the two Chris's as the class members. But
Will as the contortionist? It started to get annoying
after the first minute. GRADE: B-.

SHORT FILM: This was another occasion where the 10
o'clock weatherman broke in to tell us about bad
weather...But I didn't care. I hate the short films
like the one shown here. I don't know why they exist.
They are boring, stupid, etc. GRADE: D-.

SKETCH (Two Raspberry Sodas and a Porno mag?): This
was an OK sketch too. The 'Ten Minute Curse' didn't
necessarily apply here. I was laughing for half this
sketch and not for the other half. I liked Ana as the
fiance and Will as the former customer. But Tobey as
the store clerk was mediocre. GRADE: B-.

Overall, this was an OK show...If I missed any
sketches, it would have to be because of the several
weather-related interruptions. Anyways, Tobey did a
fairly reasonable job. The first half of the show was
good for the most part; the second half was...well, it
could've been better!

Next week, what happened? Was every single celebrity
in the world so busy? Why John Goodman? Well, it is
kind of a ritual to have him on at least once a

Til next time, amigos!...Valerie C.

Episode Review written by Valerie Carmody

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