First off, I gotta congratulate Sean for getting the dress
tickets. Couldn't have happened to a more deserving guy, I think. And even
though it's not the actual live taping, I'm sure it's great to see a
performance by the SNL clan, anyhoo.
For the record, one of my old teachers and her husband are
anniversary in New York this weekend and waiting in the stand-by line. (I
still have yet to hear if they were successful) They offered to take me with
them, with my being the one telling her that Norm would be hosting and all,
but I had to decline, because, darn my luck, I'm stuck with "Weird Al"
Yankovic tickets for tomorrow night at the good ol' Air Canada Centre.
Though I'm really looking forward to the concert, part of me still wishes I
was in New York right now. Oh well. I'm gonna try in May, anyhoo, so wish
A special feature for this week's episode. With Norm here
this week, I got
three other guys to enter a pool with me. We had to guess how many times
Norm would use the following words/phrases during tonight's live broadcast.
Here is our pre-show scorecard, with our guesses.
Crack: Jordan - 3 Jason - 2 Andy - 2 Kevin - 3
Whore: Jordan - 5 Jason - 7 Andy - 4 Kevin - 4
Hooker: Jordan - 2 Jason - 2 Andy - 0 Kevin - 1
Homosexual Pedophile: Jordan - 0 Jason - 1 Andy - 1 Kevin - 1
Nazi Germany: Jordan - 1 Jason - 0 Andy - 1 Kevin - 2
Ohlmeyer: Jordan - 2 Jason - 2 Andy - 1 Kevin - 3
Since I'm counting points, I promise I won't cheat or anything..
with a video could prove me wrong if I cheated anyhoo.
So without further adieu....
Overview - It's great to see Norm back, although Colin Quinn
has been an
excellent replacement for him at the news desk. Nevertheless, it's hard to
even find words for my pre-show thoughts. This was just too exciting. I
don't care much for Dr. Dre, although Snoop Dogg and Eminem are two of the
few rappers I can tolerate (others including Notorious B.I.G. and Will
If we win.... - It's about time someone did this. I just felt
the "John Rocker's head on a stick" line. I do not like Rocker, and I hope
he heard that one. B+
Monologue - As if we didn't know he wasn't gonna talk about
his battle with
NBC execs. Nevertheless, the writers took something predictable and made it
hilarious! "We've got a bad show..." A+
Martha Stewart - Slow. Too slow even for Martha. C+
Great Moments In Yankee History - It was tasteless, I'll give
you that, but
I did laugh. I bet God's ticked at me for that. I bet He's planning to
strike me with Jordan Davidson's disease any time now... But my true
judgement of the sketch must be told! A-
Celebrity Jeopardy - Friggin' hilarious! Burt Reynolds makes
with a vengeance. The usual greatness by Sean Connery as well. A+!
How Thin Is Too Thin - It looked horrible at first. I was
just about to
mark a D down in my notebook--yes, I have a notebook--then Calista Flockhart
threw up. Welcome to SNL, Rachel Dratch. C+
News And Views with Larry King - "You heard it here first
gang, if there's
one sketch Norm should do on his return, it's 'News and Views.'" Always
great for one-liners. A-
6, give or take, Short Films Starring Charlton Heston - Wow,
an NRA meeting,
Eddie the Eagle and the Planet of the Apes. How could this suck? Well, it
News and Views with Larry King (he looks like an owl) - "I
tell you gang,
Part 1 was good, but so was Part 2." B+
Weekend Update - Why the hell was this so short? It looked
like Colin was a
bit nervous, possibly with the "old news guy" around. The Marla Maples
thing was okay. B
Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg - Bearable. But the good kind of bearable. B-
Toothbrushers - Weird. Just weird. C+
That Michael Jackson Thingy (come on, you can't expect me to
think of a
creative title for everything..) - Loved the tattoo and sperm specimen
lines. Hated everything except the tattoo and sperm specimen lines. C-
Dr. Dre and Eminem - First off, I thought I'd complain that
ruined a line I had put in the "Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg" part of the review..
that line being "Where the firetruck was Eminem?" Oh well, at least I can
still complain about where the "-y Dogg" was. Anyhoo, I enjoyed the song.
Inside the actors studio - I always hate it when I'm talking
interrupts me. I can't see it bothering Clint Eastwood, though. Amusing.
Chess for Girls - I think I liked it the first time I saw it,
when I didn't
have facial hair. Good thing I liked it this time too. B
Overall - Though the overall quality was good, they didn't
seem to making
good use of their cast members. I don't recall seeing Kattan, Morgan or
Sanz. Were their skits cut? Maybe Sean can field that one. B+
To our dismay, only one of our keywords was said by Norm when
"whore" in "Toothbrushers." So the winner is pretty much based on who made
the least guesses, which was Andy. See, I told you I wasn't gonna cheat.
See you in two weeks, folks!
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