Joshua Jackson / 'N Sync
March 11, 2000

Greetings to you all.

Renee is not liking the way she is reviewing SNL episodes randomly and
sporadically. It pisses Renee off, especially since she had planned to
review every episode this season.

Renee doesn't like speaking in third person, either, and wonders why it
happens to her so much. She is now wondering why she is continuing to speak
in third person even though it has gotten really really stupid. She is also wondering why she always speaks in third person while starting to review SNL episodes.

Moving on, I really wanted to review the Ben Affleck episode, but that also
happened to be finals week and I was staying up till 3:00 every morning
studying and getting work done at the last minute. To top it all off, I had
to wake up at 6:00 AM since I live so <<beep>>-ing far from the school, so I
was only getting three hours of sleep a night. Everybody pity me.

But then we had the next week off and I was in Boston visiting my cousin and
that was cool. Everybody envy me.

Enough of that. On with the <<beep>>-ing review.
Ya know what, Renee gives up. She really does. *beats head against desk*
Anyhoo, I give up.

I started typing the review yesterday. I'm sitting here now, tired beyond belief, with a sore throat, a cough, a stuffy nose, and a general dislike for all the damn pollen that blooms right around my <<beep>>-ing house. I also am stressed out because even though it's only the first week of the third term, I'm already overwhelmed with work and this also makes the fourth time this year I've been ill. And I'm pissed off.

In addition, I DON'T CARE how frickin' beautiful San Francisco is, I don't care how many sights there are to see, I don't care how many people may envy me for living in the SF Bay Area, I don't care how wonderful the weather supposedly is (yeah right, perpetual spring interspersed with about four months of rain and rainstorms and power outages and landslides and rockslides and mudslides and all that wet stuff, that's GREAT weather), I don't care, I don't care, I DON'T BLOODY CARE!!! I hate living here, I've hated living here for the past five years, and I just wish I was back home in Washington DC. The people here are all FAKE and SNOBBY as HELL and I really don't like going to high school with the aforementioned fake snobby people. I HATE IT!!!

To top it all off, San Francisco has NO EXCUSE for having such a BAD public transportation system. The Muni (the bus system in SF) is so unreliable...I had to wait 45 minutes for a bus today...and they are absolutely filthy---I mean, don't they know how to clean their own buses, it's DISGUSTING!!! And the drivers are incompetent...I missed my stop today...even though I rang the bell, the idiot didn't stop the bus until the next stop and I got home really late after all that.

It's a city, a fairly big city, and they should be able to manage their stupid public transportation system.

I hate it, I tell you.

Anyhoo, I had a bad, bad day, I'm pissed off, and I'm sick.

Sorry about that lengthy rant. I had to type it somewhere...and here seemed like the most convienient place. Sorry. Moving on.

And I really wanted to type a review, as you might be able to tell if you read the stuff I wrote yesterday (above the rant about me hating living here). But I have no time, so I'm just going to give you a summary of what I would have said:

I don't really watch Dawson's Creek, but the few times I've seen it I've determined that the only really talented one on the show was Joshua Jackson. Enough said.

As for NSYNC...well, I have no respect for groups like them.

And overall, the show was okay...not as good as the Ben Affleck one, but there were some solid sketches. I especially liked the cold opening (that portrayal of Bernard Shaw absolutely cracked me up, and I like Chris Parnell's Brokaw a lot).

I also liked the Regis & Katie Lee auditions a lot, but now Cheri's Barbara Walters is starting to get on my nerves. I liked Jimmy's Chris Rock.

Um, I thought that frat house lesbian sketch was fairly weak and pointless...the wedding singer sketch got a few laughs from me before I realize how pointless it was. Um, I laughed at NSYNC...not at the sketches they appeared in, but at their "musical" performances...

Weekend Update was good as usual...Kevin Brannan (is that his name?) was funny...I kinda hope he'll be a featured player next year.

Collete Reardon needs to leave. NOW. I've mentioned this earlier somewhere, but I'll say it again: how about if Collette overdoses on her medication and dies? Come on, she needs to be killed off, it seems to be the only way to get rid of her. It shouldn't be too problematic...after all, "Seinfeld" killed off George's fiancee Susan Ross at the end of the 7th season and the show didn't suffer from the ensuing "controversy" about that.

That's it. That's all I have to say. Seriously. I have no more time and I'm really tired. I think I have a fever. I need to take a nap.

This concludes my severely shortened review. Hopefully next week I'll be less pissed off and be able to pound out an actual review.

Once again, sorry about the rant.

Does anybody actually read these things that I write? Maybe I'm just wasting my time.

I don't care. I like typing these reviews. Passing judgement is fun.

Whatever. I know of at least one person who reads these. (Thank you Starkat, whoever you are.)

Au revoir, mes chous...till next week...hopefully.

Episode Review written by Renee Epstein

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