Heather Graham / Marc Anthony
October 16, 1999

Being the resident SNL expert in the medium-sized town of Orangeville,
Ontario, I get asked a lot of stuff by my schoolmates about the show. The
usual, "Who's hosting this week?" of course. But this week I had to answer
a second question quite frequently. That question, basically, was "Who the
firetruck is Heather Graham?" It surprised me a little, I thought she was
popular enough to be known by name. So I simply answered, "She played
Felicity Shagwell." Three more people asked me the same questions, and got
the same responses. (One even asked me who Felicity Shagwell was, but
that's another story.)

So anyhoo, I got tired of trying to explain to people who Heather Graham
was, so I thought I'd take a new approach. The next person came up and
asked the question, "Who's hosting SNL this week?" So I cut to the chase
and answered, "The chick who played Felicity Shagwell." So this girl looked
at me like a dog looks at an oncoming Mack truck and said, "Duh! Her name's
Heather Graham! Did you not even know that? Hey, Laura! The SNL expert
doesn't know who Heather Graham is!" and a bunch of stuff like that. I
guess sometimes it's hard to win, although I think she could have been a bit
more open minded, considering four out of five people (four out of six, if
you count myself) honestly had no idea who this woman was.

It's kinda funny to think about it now, but it was really embarrassing at
the time. Needless to say, I was hoping Heather Graham's performance would
make up for my "pain and suffering." :)

So did it? Read on and find out.

Overview: From the moment I heard that Heather was coming, only one thought
entered my mind. "They picked the wrong Austin Powers star." Not that Ms.
Graham was a bad choice, but I'm sure 9.5 out of 10 SNL fans would agree
with me that they'd love to see Mike Myers come back to host after a hit
movie like AP2. As for Marc Anthony, I regret to say I have no idea who he

Al W. Bush Gore - Boring at first during the Gore speech, it sort of
cancelled it out with the mini-debate with Bush the younger. The
cross-breeding thing pushed it to the happy side. B-

Monologue - Another classic "The male cast members have the love jones for
the female host" monologue. "That's not a phone!" "But it's for you!" B

Litter Critters - Somewhat disgusting. But creative and funny. B+

The Sex Crazed Couple Out To Send Jordan To An Early Grave - At least
Graham's character was somewhat amusing. Her futile attempts to copy the
Zimmermans were funny enough to save what otherwise would probably be a D-.
Instead: C

Ladies Man - The Ladies Man and Heather Graham doing a Roger Ebert at the
Movies parody. (BTW, is it just me, or does that new title sound gay?) I
loved the movie titles. Classic line - "There is such a thing as too much
doggy style... what did I say?" B

Hans and Franz: Where Are They Now? - Coupled with the gladness of simply
seeing Dana Carvey do something new, it was great to see a follow-up on
these great characters. SNL should do this more often with other
characters. I'd like to know what Dick Clark's receptionist has been up to.

NetAid - Throw together a bunch of impressions of musicians, some reporters
that no one has heard of, and a really dumb concept, and what do you get? A
Pauly Shore movie. Or this. F

Weekend Update - The Clinton anniversary joke and the "Lewinsky" reference
were the highlights of Colin's part. As for the columnists, Colin's debate
with the little girl was hilarious, as was the Spanish skit. A+

Marc Anthony - It was only when Horatio Sanz referred to Marc Anthony as a
Latin singer that I knew he was Latin. You wouldn't know it by listening to
this song. It sounded more like new country. Despite all that, I did like
it, kinda. B

Dog Show - After those dismal performances last year, it looks like they've
been working on this one. The jokes are better, and the seance thing was
good. I thought I noticed a scratch on Heather's face, and didn't think to
look for it during the rest of the show. Was it fake, or was it possibly a
"present" from the dog she was holding? B-

Blair Witch Project Spoof Foundation - EPISODE REVIEWER JORDAN DAVIDSON WENT
RECOVERED... all joking aside, they were very creative with the disguising
of the spoofs. B

Marc Anthony - Was this the same guy? It sounded totally different. I
liked this song better than the first. B+

The Luckiest Man Alive! - They could have gone very far with this. Why
didn't they? C

Overall - An okay show, considering there weren't a lot of top notch
sketches. The good still outshone the bad. B-

See you next week! The musical guest: Dr. Dre with Snoop Dogg and Eminem.
Hosting: That guy who plays Norm Henderson!

Episode Review written by Jordan Davidson

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