Ray Romano / The Corrs
March 13, 1999

Let's get this show on the road, shall we?

I have a problem. Does anyone know the font that is used in the "Got Milk" ads? If anybody could help me out, it would be greatly appreciated.

I said I was stopping the trivia, but this is a really good question. Who was the last person to host SNL twice in one season by themselves? Send answers to pollywood@hotmail.com

Rant time. Professional boxing is a joke. Lennox Lewis won that fight, CLEARLY, and Holyfield still gets to retain his title. This is tough for me to say, because I hate Lennox Lewis. I hate how he says stuff like "Oh well, I will knock him out and anything that he says is preposterous." in that high-pitched accent of his. The guy sounds like such a prick I wanted Holyfield to kill him. Of course, Holyfield has been getting on my nerves with all of his born-again Christian crap. If Evander is such a holy man, why does he have nine kids with five woman and why is he still associated with scum like Don King? Ah, screw it. Boxing sucks.

That was a lot longer than I expected it to be. Oh well. Onto SNL.


[OPENING] Barbara Walters looking for phone sex

Funny stuff. Cheri is such a dead-on Barbara Walters. Darrell and Ana need to work on their Connery and Hilary impressions, they're both slipping. There were several to choose from, but...GREAT LINE ALERT: "Harry Reiser was right, you are a whore."-- Chris Parnell

RATING: 8/10


[MONOLOGUE] Ray Romano

For a moment there I though we would have a monlogue with just standup, but ah well. Having Doris Roberts and Peter Boyle on really didn't bring anything to the bit, and it would have worked better without them. Why CAN'T a host just do standup?

RATING: 7/10


[SKETCH] ESPN SportsCenter

Okay, I missed it, but here's the reason. I rented a PlayStation for the March break, and some of my friends were having a game on NHL 99. They were in World Cup mode, and were having a shootout between France and Kazekstan. Words cannot describe how funny this was. The final goal was scored by some guy named Lev Dakeev, for Kazekstan. Needless to say, I was upset at missing SNL, but this was almost as funny as anything they could have put on.



[COMMERCIAL] VH1 Behind the Music: Meatloaf

Missed it. See above. I would assume that Horatio was Meatloaf, right?



[SKETCH] Roberto Benigni has restaurant in stitches

I didn't like the actual sketch as much as I liked the actual premise. SNL is assuming that their audience is worldly enough to know who Benigni is, and why this is poking fun at him. Good for SNL for giving the audience credit. However, the skit itself wasn't all that great. Seeing that arm get chopped off was pretty cool, though. Romano did a very good impression of Benigni.

RATING: 7/10

[SKETCH] Pimp Chat

It looks like they're going to make this a recurring skit. That's fine, but I hope they stay away from the stuff like Cheri on the top of the car. That brings too much realism to it. I hope Romano's kids have gone to bed by now. Tim was having a good laugh at Horatio in drag. I wonder if SNL feels dumb, seeing as how Lennox Lewis proved he's no bitch of the month. GREAT LINE ALERT: "I supersize my bitches."-- Ray Romano

RATING: 7.5/10

[WEEKEND UPDATE] with Colin Quinn

Good update, with a lot of good material. They've been on a string of good Updates, recently. Colin has almost totally stopped doing his little asides between bits, which makes it more like a real news show. The Lewinsky bit was sort of dumb, but Cheri's bit was awesome. GREAT LINE ALERT: "Most of you know Pat Buchanan. Either you've seen him on the show Crossfire, or you've seen him light one."-- Colin Quinn.

RATING: 8/10



Wow. Those three sure are hot. I was barely paying attention to the music, because my eyes were busy. Yep, I sure wouldn't mind in a four-way with those three, let me tell you. Yes sir, those guitarists sure were...oh, uh, never mind. All kidding aside, this was pretty good.

RATING: 8/10


[SKETCH] Suel Forrester at the NCAA

I seem to be the only one who likes the Suel character, which is ironic because I don't like Kattan. This was pretty good, but I still think Will looks too old to be playing a college student. I'm having a pretty good NCAA tournament pool. All my Final Four teams are still in it, and anybody who is picking against Duke is gonna be in for it. GREAT LINE ALERT: "You got ave....th'art uva tampon (The heart of a champion):-- Chris Kattan

RATING: 7.5/10


[SKETCH] Office guy resorts to crying

Funny sketch. From babysitting my four year old cousin, this brought
back some memories.

RATING: 7.5/10



Well, in my last review I said that I wasn't too crazy about hearing the Corrs. Well, I was wrong. These guys turned out to be really good. The fact that the girls in the band were jaw-droppingly attractive didn't hurt either. The drummer has to change her technique, because she looks like she just picked up a set of sticks.

RATING: 7.5/10


[SKETCH] Quit judging my dreams!

An odd, strange last sketch. But, also really funny. The ending was pretty asinine, but it was still good.

RATING: 7/10


SKETCH OF THE NIGHT: Barbara Walters looking for phone sex
LINE OF THE NIGHT: "I want to kidnap hobos and make them my slaves...I'll have zombie hobos mowing my lawn and making porno films in my basement." -- Ray Romano, from the last sketch.
BITS THAT MADE YOU SAY "DUDE, THIS IS PRETTY F***ED UP RIGHT HERE"-- Quit judging my dreams, Office guy resorts to crying
KATTANOMETER-- Two (he may have been in the SportsCenter sketch, I didn't see it)

OVERALL: A very good, solid show. A succession of good, solid sketches. Ray Romano was pretty good as host, even though he looked at the cue cards a bit too much. TheCorrs were very good, one of the best musical guests this season. All in all, a really good show after the disappointing Bill Murray and Gwyneth Paltrow
outings.Next week is one I'm looking forward to. Drew Barrymore is host, and that could be interesting, but Garbage is the musical guest. Garbage is one of my favorite bands, and they should blow the house down. They had better get two songs, Lorne, or else I'm bringing back Eagle Eye Cherry.

Episode Review written by Mark Polishuk

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