Cuba Gooding Jr. / Ricky Martin
May 8, 1999

[-------this is where I think of something funny to say to start off the

First off, I'd like to thank EBGolden, Larchman and Shakah for sending in a
whole bunch of LFNYs. The list is growing by the minute!

Well, this is the penultimate SNL of the season, and word on the street is
that there is a big surprise in store for tonight. Yep, you've all heard by
now....John Goodman will be reprising his role as Linda Tripp tonight! Oh,
I'm kidding. You all know about the real special guest...
Drew Barrymore doing a guest voice for Smiegel's cartoon.

A bit of levity to start things off. Hilary Clinton dies, and goes up to
heaven. She notices this big wall of clocks up there, and asks a passing
angel what they were used for. The angel says "Oh, every clock represents a
person on Earth, and every time they commit a sin their clock moves forward
ten minutes." Hilary, naturally curious, asks where her husband's clock is.
The angel replies, "Oh, God keeps that one in his office. He uses it as
a fan."

Go Leafs go! Stanley Cup, baby!


[OPENING] Clinton's After-Term Fantasies
Gosh, I didn't see this one coming (heavy sarcasm). Monica looked a lot
fatter than she did on that 20/20 interview. They say the camera adds ten
pounds, but NBC must have had about six cameras on her. Okay sketch, but it
was so obviously built around the Lewinsky cameo that the rest of the jokes
fell kind of flat. Tim and Tracy were good. GREAT LINE ALERT: "Everyone
gets so mad at me when I turn the wrong letters."-- Monica Lewinsky
RATING: 7/10


[MONOLOGUE] Cuba Gooding Jr.
The best part about this was Horatio and Jimmy backstage. That was
hilarious. The rest was pretty mediocre. Seriously, why is Cuba Gooding
even hosting the show? I haven't heard about him being in any movies, and
from this monologue it looks like he's just living in the past. Hey Cuba,
Jerry Maguire was two and a half years ago and it sucked then. Move
RATING: 6.5/10


[COMMERCIAL] Lotto provides for families
This one was disappointing. I was expecting something really funny, after
the setup.
RATING: 6.5/10


[SKETCH] The Gospel According to Clive Anderson
Clive Anderson is the host of the British version of Whose Line Is It
, the improv show. Er, anyway, this was a really funny sketch. I
loved how Horatio just walked on in his Cincinnati Bengals shirt and became
the focus of the movie. GREAT LINE ALERT: "What's up Jesus? You talking
smack about me?"-- Horatio Sanz
RATING: 8.5/10


[INTERLUDE] Barbara Walters tries to track down Monica
What's this? A recurring theme through the show? Who's producing this,
Dick Ebersol?
RATING: 7/10


[SKETCH] Pretty Living
I have an idea for the next sketch. While doing her gyrations, Helen Madden
breaks her neck and dies. Her newest boyfriend, a paramedic, tries to save
her and fails. The character is never heard
from again. That being said, Cuba Gooding was pretty funny in this sketch.
RATING: 6/10


[COMMERCIAL] Lotto means never giving up
This ad was much better than the first one. Chris Kattan as a redneck is
quite a sight.
RATING: 8/10


[SKETCH] The Ladies Man
Remember how Leon Phelps once said that he wouldn't do any chicks who were
over 250 lbs? Well, maybe he's making an exception for Monica (rim shot).
Liked the joke about people throwing bottles and cans at Linda Tripp.
RATING: 7.5/10


[CARTOON] The AmbiguoBoys
Kickass! The AGD! Good to see Smiegel find a fresh take on the characters.
Too much funny stuff to mention here, with about twenty jokes about
ambiguousness. My favorite was the dog named Brownie. LOL.
RATING: 8.5/10


[INTERLUDE] Barbara Walters tries to track down Monica, part II
It was funny how Cheri stayed in total Baba Wawa character even while
speaking Spanish.
RATING: 7/10


[MUSIC] Ricky Martin--"Living La Vida Loca"
In my last review, I said that Ricky Martin is currently banging Madonna,
but I have since been informed that this isn't true. So, I guess the only
thing that Ricky is getting on is my nerves. I think it's ironic how women
fawn over this guy, but I think he looks exactly like Fallon! I also think
it's ironic how Latin music is only now getting popular because there's a
white guy who is singing it. That being said, this was not all bad.
RATING: 7/10


Lots of good jokes using the video screen, like the one about
Buttafuoco/Clinton, and the Amy Fisher shot. Only SNL could follow a joke
about an ex-porn star wrestling valet with a joke about the Pope. Fallon
did his bit of changing songs around, which was funny and would have been
the best part of almost any other Update. BUT...Darrell's Jesse Jackson
impression just totally cracked me up. He had the mannerisms down to such a
tee, and that bit about Mama was great. Really good Update this week.
GREAT LINE ALERT: "Nato has the aim of Ted Kennedy at a Bennigan's
urinal."-- Colin Quinn
RATING: 9/10


[SKETCH] Mango Goes Hollywood
Well, this was funny, but the mystique of the Mango character was killed.
We can't take him seriously as a sensuous seducer of men if we see him as a
suburban dad. Reading over that last line, I just realized how silly it
sounds. Mango's beret was hilarious, and I found it funny that Will as the
butler called Cuba by his first name. Between Cuba stripping here and Ricky
Martin, the girls are getting their jollies tonight. GREAT LINE ALERT: "I
loved the Jerry Maguire . I crapped so hard I almost laughed in my
pants!"-- Chris Kattan
RATING: 7.5/10


[COMMERCIAL] Lotto is the American Way
Hey, guess what? These have officially gotten old! Yay!
RATING: 6/10


What, that was the whole segment? Okay...watching that M & M's commercial,
Halle Berry comes swimming after that M & M wanting to put him in her mouth,
and the stupid candy swims away! Maybe the new M & Ms have a fruity
flavour, if you catch my drift.


[SKETCH] A Martha Stewart Mother's Day
Poor Martha Stewart really has a bad rep, doesn't she? I was hoping they'd
bring back Joan Allen as Martha's mom, but oh well. GREAT LINE ALERT: "My
daughter sent me a ceramic Snoopy on a soccer ball. What the hell?"-- Ana
RATING: 7.5/10


[SKETCH/INTERLUDE] Cuba is fed up with Monica
I was hoping they'd do a sketch like this. However, we never got the payoff
of Barbara finding Monica. It's good they can joke about that Sinead
O'Connor thing now, because it was sure uncomfortable when it happened.
Tracy Morgan totally stole this sketch. I loved how Lorne didn't even know
who he was. GREAT LINE ALERT: "I didn't see it. I didn't own a television
set at the time."-- Tracy Morgan
RATING: 7.5/10


[ENDING] I don't usually note these, but this was the first time in a while
that NBC has rolled the entire list of credits. Also, that saxophonist got
a lot of airtime. Maybe they're making him into the New Age G.E. Smith?
That would be good. The band needs some identity.


LINE OF THE NIGHT: "If I shot every gay man who had a crush on me, I'd have
shot Chris Kattan years ago."-- Colin Quinn
Pretty Living, Mango Goes Hollywood
KATTANOMETER FOR CHRIS'S HARDCORE FANS: Two sketches, and a dubious mention
on Update
Living sketch, but you can never really tell with the character)

OVERALL: An okay show, but nothing special. Cuba Gooding was good and had
energy, but he was rather reliant on the cue cards. Ricky Martin was
so-so. As for Monica, she wasn't bad, but she acted as though she knew she was on
TV. Next week is the season finale. Sarah Michelle Gellar
is hosting, and if she is as good as she was last year, things should run smoothly.
However, the musical guest is...the Backstreet Boys. I have nothing to say here,
but I will be putting forth a huge rant about
them next week. Because it's the year end, I might do a year in review type deal.

Episode Review written by Mark Polishuk

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