Drew Barrymore / Garbage
March 20, 1999

For those of you sympathizing with my SATURDAY NET Guess the Hosts
contest problem, good news. With John Goodman now hosting the next live
episode, he is now correct guess number three. Not that I wouldn't have
wanted to see Dana come back. It might have made my season, I just
wanted to see him on TV. Notice how everything is a lose-lose
situation? You win the lottery, you become a prime murder target. You
get a new computer game, you suck at it. You drink a Coke, you have one
less Coke later. You write an SNL review... I'll have to get back to
you on that.

This just in, Chris Kattan's whore is still dead.

And on a less important note, I got a review for you.


Overview - Drew was seven the last time she hosted the show. She's 24
now. Ah, memories... Yeah, when's the last time you remembered
something you did when you were seven? I'm 17, going on 18 in a few
months, and I don't. And Lorne's going "At least she won't be asking
for juice and cookies between sketches this time. Which reminds me, get
her father on the phone. If he pays for those snacks, we might be able
to restore that episode we removed!" I bet that's it. Drew ate their
entire juice and cookie stock and now it's come back to haunt them. Oh
boy, I'd love to continue with this theory, but I do have a life. I
think. And Garbage is great too.


Oscar Fashion Preview - A smack at this suits me well, because I don't
give a rat's ass what people wear, and I don't need the Rivers' family's
opinion on it. Is it just me, or can every female person on this planet
do an accurate impression of Cher? Christina Applegate, Drew Barrymore,
my own mother, who couldn't do an impression of someone with a canker
sore if she had a canker sore... Wow. C+


Monologue - Good to see Adam Sandler again, even if it was Jimmy. The
song was cool. A-


Celebrity Jeopardy - Come on, just one question? (not incl. Final
Jeopardy) Don't tell me you're running out of material! Too short, but
what was there was excellent. A+


How Are You Doing? - An excuse for Will Ferrell to go crazy. Well, you
sold me. B+


VH1: Captain and Tennille - Whatever. D


How Do You Say? Ah Yes! Show - This sketch has made a significant
improvement since the last time I berated it. I actually laughed at
more than one thing during this sketch. This isn't the only sketch I
felt made an improvement. Read on to find out more. C+


Fun with Real Audio - SNL sure knows how to tarnish the reputation of
celebrities. Can you say "You shot Lassie!" A


Weekend Update - For the record, that Nets game Colin was talking about
was against my Raptors, who have won four in a row, hehe!! Always good
to see Clinton, and Kattan's analysis of "Believe" was just amazing.
When he was standing on the desk all that was missing was "I'm King of
the World!" A


Garbage - All right. A


Dog Show - The wedding thing made this the undisputed best Dog Show out
of the first three. Like the Banderas thing, also made a significant
improvement in my book. The writers must be reading my earlier reviews.


VH1: Rick Allen - I hope for Rick's sake he didn't see this. "I can see
both your arms." Good for you. C


Terrance Maddox - It actually had a story. Wow. Technically, it made
an improvement too, but I'm not exactly proud of it. D


Garbage - Another good one. A


VH1: Fred Schneider - Sounds like something Freddy would do. Now I know
how "MMMBop" got started. C


Overall - Solid effort. I can officially say I believe in this season
again. Best night of Drew's life? Wow. B

Episode Review written by Jordan Davidson

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