Joan Allen / Jewel
November 14, 1998

GE Cafe Rating System:



Ah,a reletively unknown stage actress on SNL again.It seems that every time this happens,the show ends up being pretty good...I didn't find out until the promos for the show on Friday that she was the mother from "Pleasantville",and I had high hopes for tonight's episode.Jewel,in all her sultriness,was also a welcome addition to this year's incredible array of musical guests,save Elliot Smith.On with the show...


Cold Opening: Clinton And Gingrich Prove That Opposites Attract

Jesus! What's up with the gay theme this year? At any rate,it started slow and pre- dictable,but got interesting when they started dancing and singing...as much as I hate to,I really kinda dug this,in an old school sort of way,so,out of that little voice in the back of my mind that likes to see men make out,I give it... Rating: GE CA


Opening Montage/Theme Song

Now they're back to the hybrid song from the Lawless show... Rating: GE C


Monologue: Stepenwolf RULES!

Actress comes out,gets applause for naming credentials,cast member gets laughs while host feighns cluelessness,albeit the fact that,thanks to a fellow reviewer,the home base audience would never have a washed up Stepenwolf fan...I always hated these kinds of monologues. :::Eats his keyboard::: Rating: GE


Commercial #1: Jenson Mint Fake Change

Friggin hysterical! I like the cheap but funny shots taken at the homeless,reminds me of parodies like the happy fun ball...ah! We Didn't Start The Fire is on the radio! :::Heaves stereo out 5 story window::: Much better...and in case you're illiterate,the $1 bill comes with the universal sign to fuck off... Rating: GE CA


Commercial #2: Martha Stewart Thanksgiving Promo

Now this is the best way for Martha Stewart sketches to go,in commercial form.Who's idea was it to have Allen as her mother,of all things? I'm going on only one viewing of the show,so forgive my not complete recollection of the sketches, and the fact that I've been up for 29 hours now...:::Begins to nod off::: Uh...I remember the get the bangs out of your eyes remark,and that was pretty funny... Rating: GE C


Sketch: VH-1 Spirituality Awards

I thought this was funny,another sterling example of the great impressionists on this year's SNL,and also that Joan Allen can do a dead on Madonna! I liked the crack about Nirvana,along with the Andy Dick of Chris Kattan,so overall it gets... Rating: GE C


Sketch: Suel Forrester In The Courtroom

All I can say is,I'm glad this sketch is done roughly once-twice a year,because a little Suel goes quite a long way,and any more would make me burn my TV in despair.He just gets to me in ways I can't explain.Oh well... Rating: G


Sketch: Space The Infinite Frontier With Harry Caray

HARRY CARAY! "I thought you died?" LOL...hey,at least it didn't suck like on the Mathew Perry episode..."Would you go to Mars with a sandwich and a dead guy?" Rating: GE C


Weekend Update With Colin Quinn And Collette Reardon

Well,it was kinda short this week,again only one guest,but still went on for about 7- 8 minutes,but it was nice to see Collette again,in all her drugged out glory...dammit will my local station stop talking about the Packers/Vikings game this Sunday?! I don't care how important it is... Rating: GE C


Musical Guest: Jewel Performs "Hands"

Hey,an SNL musical guest we can hear...what's up? Yeah,she could be heard loud and clear over the music,and to boot,it was a great performance.No complaints here, so... Rating: GE CAF


Sketch: LEARNING With Jennifer Tilly

LOL! I was wondering if they would ever lace into Jennifer Tilly,and now they finally have,not that she didn't have it coming.Joan as herself and Jimmy Fallon as French Stewart were good,and I liked the song she kept shaking to,call me wierd... Rating: GE C


Sketch: New York Is Greeeaaat!

Hmmm...these don't change,except he location.So therefor,I WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH CHERI OTERI.This statement will be used everytime this sketch recurrs.Deal with it,guys... Rating: GE


Musical Guest: Jewel Performs "???"

Great song,good sound,but it's not on the radio,and I don't have the record yet,so I don't know it's name.Damn,it's always hard reviewing a second Musical performance. Rating: GE CAF


Sketch: Tarmac Talk

This was hysterical,for a 10 to 1 sketch! I liked the theme music and how Tim held on to that post,and another great impression,of Jerry Seinfeld no less. You know, I'm sucking at reviews nowadays.I'm turning into one of the reviewers who says... "didn't watch it ok but over played D-" I'm trying to keep it real folks,so bear with me through my rough period here... Rating: GE CA


Goodnights/Closing Theme

They actually showed more than 5 seconds! Unfortunately,it was 7 seconds... Rating: GE C



Well,it was ok,typical pseudo-crap these days...but,JLH is hosting next week! You know,I took a copy of Can't Hardly Wait home with me from the store this week (I work at a local video store),and I must say,it's pretty good.Sadly,the retrospect is more interesting than the whole review combined... Overall Rating: GE C That's all for this week,and remember I AM UR FACEGOD PHEAR ME!!! >:-D

Episode Review written by GE Cafe

BACK to Joan Allen "SNL" Episode Reviews