Donald Trump / Toots and the Maytals
April 3, 2004

By Stooge

(COLD OPENING) Donald Trump fires Jimmy
Highlights:
-- George saying the dress rehearsal sucked.
-- Finesse's part.
-- Trump's comment about Jimmy laughing the whole time during dress.
-- The Frasier ad.
-- Always good to see Lorne appearing in the show.
-- The taped bit with Jimmy in the taxi.

Lowlights:
-- None.

Grade: A

 

(OPENING MONTAGE)
-- They never did show the Smigel cartoon that was announced.

 

(MONOLOGUE) Donald Trump's replacement
Highlights:
-- Darrell's Trump impression.
-- Jimmy as Jeff Zucker.
-- The TV show previews.

Lowlights:
-- Trump's shameless brag-fest at the beginning.

Grade: B

 

(COMMERCIAL) "Fear Factor Junior"
Highlights:
-- Fred's Joe Rogan impression.
-- A hilarious concept with the stunts the children were forced to do.

Lowlights:
-- None.

Grade: A-

 

(SKETCH) "Live with Regis and Kelly"
Highlights:
-- Darrell and Amy and Regis and Kelly.
-- The Sesame Street camera.
-- Trump demonstrating how the ratings will drop when he turns away from the camera.

Lowlights:
-- Rachel as Gelman was just sad. They should have either gotten Kattan to cameo for this (I certainly don't miss him, but he's really the only one who can make this role funny) or just ditch the Gelman part altogether.

Grade: B

 

(MISCELLANEOUS) Donald Trump meets Star Jones
Highlights:
-- I always like these backstage segments.
-- Kenan as Star Jones.
-- Kenan yelling in a deep voice at the lady.

Lowlights:
-- This felt too short and could've been a little longer.

Grade: B

 

(NEXT WEEK) April 10, 2004: Janet Jackson
-- She has proven to be a decent actress in a few shows and movies in the past, so maybe she'll do a good job hosting. But how many boob will we have to sit through? I mean, c'mon already, the incident happened two damn months ago...

 

(SKETCH/COMMERCIAL) Trump's House of Wings
Highlights:
-- Trump's dancing.

Lowlights:
-- I'm tired of SNL always doing these musical restaurant commercials whenever a non-actor hosts. It wasn't funny with Derek Jeter or Al Sharpton, and not even them actually referencing those sketches at the end here could save this.

Grade: D

 

(MUSICAL PERFORMANCE)
-- No comment.

 

(MISCELLANEOUS) "Weekend Trump Date"
-- I was liking this at first, but then they just ended it. I wish they would've went along with it and did the whole Update with this format. It would've been something interesting and different, plus I liked seeing Tina sans-glasses and in that dress.

 

(WEEKEND UPDATE) Fallon & Fey, Omarosa Manigault-Stallworth
Highlights:
-- Jimmy's Whitney Houston joke.
-- Jimmy's Norah Jones joke.
-- Tina's Jason Patric joke.
-- Tina's old lady joke.
-- Tina's Madonna joke.
-- Jimmy's Asian joke.

Lowlights:
-- Tina's Bush joke.
-- Jimmy's Congo fighting joke.
-- The falling objects during the Omarosa segment just got silly and old after a while, and what was it supposed to be making fun of? Did something like this happen on The Apprentice?

Grade: B

 

(SKETCH) The Prince and the Pauper
Highlights:
-- Good to see Darrell's Trump impression again tonight.
-- Trump's jokes about his own hair.
-- Some funny lines.

Lowlights:
-- This felt too slow-paced and could've been funnier.

Misc. Comments & Observations:
-- Trump's first real character of the night, and the first time we see him outside of a suit (although they had to ruin it by putting him back in a suit and having him play himself at the end).
-- This reminded me a little of that Dana Carvey/Mike Myers sketch in the early 90's with them constantly switching jobs as a janitor and businessman.

Grade: C+

 

(SKETCH) "Fathers and Sons"
Highlights:
-- I'm usually indifferent on the Jimmy/Horatio crack-ups, but I actually laughed at this one. Probably because the rest of this sketch was so dull and I was desperate for a laugh, or maybe because they were also crying in-character while laughing, which made it looked so weird I couldn't help but laugh as well.
-- Trump's comment about not being like Jimmy and Horatio with his wife.

Lowlights:
-- The rest of this was boring.

Misc. Comments & Observations:
-- I can't believe Jimmy was able to lift a big guy like Horatio up like that the first time.

Grade: D

 

(SKETCH) 9/11 Hearings
Highlights:
-- None.

Lowlights:
-- This dragged on and on and I didn't laugh once. If Jim Downey wrote this (which I assume because he did the voice-over at the beginning and end), then I'm surprised because his sketches are usually very funny and smart.

Grade: F

 

(MUSICAL PERFORMANCE)
-- No comment.

 

(SKETCH) The Apprentice - the band
Highlights:
-- None.

Lowlights:
-- This was absolutely pointless and just seemed like a poor excuse for Trump to sing. The second half of this episode is turning out very bad.

Grade: F

_________________________________________________

Overall Episode Grade: C

Overall Highlights:
-- The Apprentice cold opening.
-- Darrell's Trump impression.
-- Fear Factor Junior.
-- Live with Regis and Kelly.

Overall Lowlights:
-- Rachel as Gelman.
-- Trump's House of Wings.
-- The falling objects gag in the Omarosa Manigault-Stallworth segment
-- Fathers and Sons.
-- 9/11 Hearings.
-- The Apprentice - the band.

Best Lines:
-- Finesse Mitchell: "Nobody's firing me, because there's only 4 black people on NBC."

-- Jimmy Fallon: "The only reason Amy didn't get fired is because she uses her feminine sexuality to get laughs. And Finesse...uses his feminine sexuality to get laughs."

-- Jimmy Fallon: "Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown have announced plans to shoot a reality show. The show will begin production as soon as the couple figures out what reality is."

-- Jimmy Fallon: "Singer Norah Jones turned 25 on Tuesday. Her fans turned 50."

-- Tina Fey: "Police in Illinois are looking for a 75-year-old woman who gets around with a cane and a portable oxygen cart, because she's accused of scamming car dealers by bouncing checks. Officials say that by now, the old lady could be anywhere within an 8-foot radius."

-- Tina Fey: "It was reported that on her upcoming tour, Madonna will include a dance number that will re-enact battle scenes to illustrate the tragedy of war. Madonna will also wear a camouflaged bikini top to illustrate the tragedy of time."

-- Jimmy Fallon: "Asian-American groups are upset with the newest issue of Details magazine, which features an article asking readers to determine whether the man pictured is gay or Asian. Worse, it's a picture of Anjelica Houston."

-- Donald Trump as janitor: "Looks like you killed a squirrel to me and put it right on top of your head."
Darrell Hammond as Donald Trump: "You're one to talk. Your hair looks exactly like mine."
Donald Trump as janitor: "Yeah, except my hair's supposed to look like this - I'm a janitor."

-- Seth Meyers as Peter Fleck: "Why can you be like that (the Sassens) with me?"
Donald Trump as Gary Fleck: "I'm not like that with your mother."

CASTMEMBER COUNT DOWN
DRATCH: 3 sketches (1: Live with Regis and Kelly; 2: 9/11 Hearings; 3: The Apprentice - the band)

FALLON: 4 sketches (1: Donald Trump fires Jimmy; 2: Donald Trump's replacement; 3: Weekend Update; 4: Fathers and Sons)

FEY: 1 sketch (1: Weekend Update)

FORTE: 0 sketches

HAMMOND: 4 sketches (1: Donald Trump's replacement; 2: Live with Regis and Kelly; 3: The Prince and the Pauper; 4: 9/11 Hearings)

MEYERS: 2 sketches (1: Trump's House of Wings; 2: Fathers and Sons)

PARNELL: 3 sketches (1: Donald Trump fires Jimmy; 2: Live with Regis and Kelly; 3: 9/11 Hearings)

POEHLER: 6 sketches (1: Donald Trump fires Jimmy; 2: Live with Regis and Kelly; 3: Trump's House of Wings; 4: Weekend Trump Date; 5: The Prince and the Pauper; 6: The Apprentice - the band)

RUDOLPH: 4 sketches (1: Trump's House of Wings; 2: Weekend Update; 3: The Prince and the Pauper; 4: The Apprentice - the band)

SANZ: 2 sketches (1: Trump's House of Wings; 2: Fathers and Sons)

ARMISEN: 4 sketches (1: Fear Factor Junior; 2: The Prince and the Pauper; 3: 9/11 Hearings; 4: The Apprentice - the band)

MITCHELL: 1 sketch (1: Donald Trump fires Jimmy)

THOMPSON: 2 sketch (1: Donald Trump meets Star Jones; 2: Trump's House of Wings)

Darrell was the star of the night. And why the hell wasn't Forte in anything?

 

MA'AS SALAAMA.