Roddick / Dave Matthews
November 8, 2003
and Troll Doll 311
Pre show thoughts:
The Rattler Thoughts: Andy Roddick plays tennis. Lame corny
high school teacher joke begins. Andy Roddick should serve
up a great show tonight. I think he will ace every sketch.
Lame corny high school teacher joke over. Anyways, athletes
usually do not make greats hosts, but if you think about it,
do you really need a talented actor or comedian to have a good
show? If you have good writing and a talented cast around the
host, it will be a great show no matter who is hosting. This
is a talented cast with good writing, so I am expecting a good
show. I am not a big fan of David Matthews. Maid Marion listens
to Dave Matthews. And if you are keeping track, that is inside
joke number 1 of the review.
The Troll Doll Thoughts: My pre
show thoughts are simply this: Andy Roddick is really hot. Yes,
shallow thoughts galore. His hotness helping this, I thought
that he would actually do a great job hosting. I saw him on Conan
a while ago, and he seemed like a funny, friendly guy. As for
Dave Matthews, I didn't really care. I normally don't pay that
much attention to the music guest unless I am a fan. And Dave
Matthews, sorry buddy, but I've seen better.
Rattler says to self, "Self,
who could be better than Dave Matthews? Hmmm. You know, when
I was in fifth grade, there was a band formed by my fellow peers
that was better than Dave Matthews. Yea, they used their arm
pits as instruments, and they were much better than Dave Matthews."
Barbara Walters: C
Rattler: After seeing this, I miss Cheri and Ana. I like Rachel
and Amy, but I'll just leave it at that. Hey, at least it wasn't
a political opening.
Troll Doll: Not the best impression
by Rachel, but hey she tried, and I think she got her point across.
As for other impressions, I personally liked Ana's Martha Stewart
better than Amy's. This opening sketch was okay, I didn't laugh
that hard, but then again, I never really do with opening skits
unless of course it's Ferrell being Bush. Anyway, some of the
words that Barbara used to describe Martha were pretty funny.
Obviously not funny enough to recall what they were though. And
to get off topic, oh no, Martha and Barbara are extremely OLD
names. They certainly fit those two old women.
Rattler says to Troll Doll, "Hey,
you know what else is an old name? Blanche."
Troll Doll says to Rattler, "Wow.
Inside Joke Talley: 2
Rattler: I like how JB and Paula are like a "couple"
on the show. Quite humorous indeed. I like Finesse's Andre
3000 performance. That was cool. Finesse managed to impersonate
some bad rapping just like the real Andre 3000. Also, lets note
that Tina Fey was one of the dancers. My comments seem off tonight.
I need a mocha frap. Starbucks just built a location inside
my living room, so I'll be back in a second.
Troll Doll: Similar to my pre
show thoughts. Andy Roddick is hot. Anyways, I thought this was
a good monologue. Our first glimpse at John McEnroe. That was
exciting. So yes, it was a good monologue, even though the good
part didn't really include poor Andy. Finesse did an awesome
job of being Andre 3000 or whatever that guy's name is. Looked
just like him. And the dancers, the girls of SNL have it all,
don't they? Looks, humor, dancing talent? Awesome. I thought
that was great.
Cryogenix Commercial: C
Rattler: Yea, alright. I laughed but not in an L-O-L kind of
way. I laughed in a This-Is-Not-Funny kind of way.
Troll Doll: This commercial didn't
really get any laughs from me until it mentioned the part about
how you will be decapitated and your head will be put into a
bag or something like that. It didn't really seem to get that
many laughs from the audience either. It was one of their commercials
that could have used a little work. You know, perhaps a different
subject all together? Hmm....
Radio Station Thing: A
Rattler: I love Jimmy Fallon. He will truly be missed when he
is gone. Jimmy kind of sounded like Harey Carey. I liked the
song parodies Jim did with the Smashmouth and Sir Mix A Lot songs.
Speaking of Smashmouth, he was in a bunch of Mervyns' commercials
over the summer. Sarcasm begins. That's when you know your
career is going in a positive direction. Sarcasm over. Just
out of curiosity, which coast does Sir Mix A Lot represent?
Is he cool enough to represent a coast?
Troll Doll: Yay! It's Jimmy
Fallon! His voice kind of reminded me of his Pat O'Brien impression
though. Oh well. I thought that this was a hilarious skit. Jimmy
doing all the different voices, awesome. "And we're back!!"
"Ew you guys!" "Hell nah!" Yep, good stuff
indeed. I'm not sure about the blonde wig and the blonde eyebrows
though. Andy did great portraying himself. Maybe he won't be
so bad at sketch comedy after all. Hell, he can act as himself.
Editor's Note: The radio DJ was
a mix of Pat O'Brien and Harry Carey. Think Harry Carey with
crumpets shoved up his nose.
Be Right Back.
"And we're back!!!!"
Battle of the Sexes II: A
Rattler: This was quite hilarious. Darrell Hammond made his
one appearance as Bud Collins. Way to go D. Anyways, Armisen
was hilarious as Billie Jean King. John Mac is bac. Man, I'm
so lame. Maybe Troll Doll should do these reviews alone. What
do you have to say Troll Doll?
Troll Doll: You know, I have
to say it again. Andy is good looking. Okay, moving on. We all
knew that they were going to do a tennis sketch of course. Billie
Jean King, I don't really follow tennis, so I didn't really know/care
who that was. But it was Armisen, and I'm happy when he's in
anything so that pleased me. It didn't get me laughing until
they actually started playing tennis. Reading a magazine, lounging
in a chair, drinking mixed alcoholic beverages, and such, while
she tries her hardest to do poorly. Good times. It's always funny
watching old, strange women fail. And the second appearance for
McEnroe. Is he co-hosting or something?
Rattler: Rachel Dratch does have a knack for producing good characters.
This was, yet, another sketch where Rachel produces another
great character. Parnell shows up at the beginning of the sketch
and makes his appearance after the sketch is ended. I guess
he wants everyone to remember that he is still, in fact, a castmember.
Anyways, I loved Rachel in this. She rocks.
Troll Doll: Oh no what have they
done to Andy's hair? He looks like James Van Der Beek. Anyway,
when Rachel came in as the governess, I laughed really hard.
She's so funny. I don't think there is a character that Rachel
does that I don't like. When she was singing the song, picking
up his "toys", the dirty magazines, alcohol, and a
bong. Good stuff. I thought this skit was really great. When
he got into his pajamas and said, "I look like a DICK,"
that was awesome. After the sketch, we have a brief commentary
by Parnell, and that's right, you guessed it, McEnroe. Third
appearance. Oh but he assures us, he's funny, so he should host
soon too. I think we've seen just about enough of him now; we
don't need him for a full episode. I would also like to add
how I thanked my lucky stars when Parnell left the room, and
then after the skit, there he was again. He's like a bad, recurring
nightmare. He never goes away even though I want him to!
Rattler: Speaking of bad recurring
nightmares, I turn around and see Classic SNL with Billy Crystal.
Can't classic SNL be the 96-97 season?
This week's classic SNL is the
episode with Michael McKean as host and Chaka Khan is the musical
guest. Unlike the 94-95 season where McKean was a castmember,
he is featured in more than two sketches in this episode.
A lot of people think Pink will
suck as musical guest in a few weeks. Well, Chaka Khan was the
"Pink" of her generation. Oh, I can feel the hate
e-mails coming now. You know, comparing Pink to Chaka Khan.
I never realized how UNfunny
Jim Belushi was. Then I remembered K-9.
Hall and Oates: B
Rattler: This was a nice little musical sketch with the singing
talents of Fred Armisen and Will Forte. I found this to be quite
amusing. There is a reason why Forte was promoted over the summer.
He is the next big thing.
Troll Doll: Aww Andy's in a suit.
And he's introducing, oh no, Hall and Oates. But, yes! It's Forte
and Armisen! I thought that this sketch was hilarious. Especially
at the end, "here's another plaque." This was great
indeed, I was happy to see Will and Fred together.
Richard Williams deal: N/A
Rattler: I like Kenan. This was somewhat amusing. The shirt
Kenan had on with the William's sisters was very funny because
it's true. Let's get this straight. Kenan plays Serena Williams
and Richard Williams. That is called talent, huh. Anyways,
I love Kenan's energy and enthusiasm, and I am hoping he will
be in more sketches in the future.
Rattler: What was up with those noises at the end of the song?
Calm down Dave. Calm down.
Troll Doll: I don't remember
what this was like at all. It was soothing music to listen to
while I did my homework.
Weekend Update: A (because of
Tim Calhoun's triumphant return!)
Rattler: This was a very amusing weekend update. I love Tim
Calhoun. Everyone loves Tim Calhoun. "There is nothing
on this card." Classic stuff. A character like Tim Calhoun
is what makes castmembers legends. Think Will Ferrell as Frank
Henderson in his first season or Terrence Maddox later on. Horatio
was Rosie O'Donnell. Jimmy loses it. Horatio loses it. Rattler
loses it. This was a solid weekend update.
Troll Doll: "75% of women
are ashamed of their vaginas. And from what I've seen, they should
be." That was a classic Tina joke. She always makes me
laugh. And just to comment on both Jimmy and Tina's hair, Tina's
looked cute, and Jimmy's needed some work. Anyways, let's move
on to the relevant stuff. TIM CALHOUN!!!!! "There's nothing
on this card." Forte is so awesome, and I love this character!
"I've only been in jail, 1, 2., 31 times." I would
totally vote for Tim Calhoun if I could. Moving on to the two
sides of Rosie O'Donnell. Jimmy's enthusiasm amused me. I liked
when Rosie slapped Tina in the face. "For weekend update,
that's been Tina Fey, and I've been Jimmy Fallon. Good night
and have a pleasant tomorrow" Should I quote some more?
Tennis Talk: A
Rattler: This was my favorite sketch of the night. Maya used
a David Spade formatted joke. "By the way Patrick Swayze
called, he wants his hair back." Very funny and very true.
When you are in a comic slump, use the David Spade format.
I loved the different versions of Andre Agassi. The different
Andre's are fighting over Brooke Shields. I guess if you like
a bad actress who has done forgettable TV shows and movies, then
Brooke Shields is the girl for you. Anyways, I was doing a little
research. Brooke Shields was chosen by Time magazine as "the
face of the 80s." So I guess that's why she married 1992
Agassi aka "the hair of the 80s." Please laugh at
my "jokes" people. Please.
Troll Doll: Oh good. I knew they
were going to do this. Maya is so weird looking. Her feet look
really big. Anyway, so the three Andre's eh? Seth from 92, Andy
from the present, and a silver Will Forte as the future Andre
from 2008, where we have space wars, and he is the president.
This was a funny sketch. Bragging about being with Brooke Shields?
Oh, come on.
Merv the Perv: F
Rattler: Chris Parnell is Merv the Perv. You know, Lorne is
probably not thinking, "This would make a great SNL movie."
He is probably thinking, "And why did I bring Parnell back?"
Anyways, my house was dead silent throughout the whole sketch.
Even the crickets were silent.
Troll Doll: Andy Roddick is hot.
So we've got Andy, Amy, Rachel, and Maya. Everything is going
good, but oh wait no, Parnell just walked in. Great. This skit
is ruined for me. And even more fabulous, it's Merv the Perv.
One of the most disturbing things I've seen in a long time, Chris
Parnell in a Speedo. Come on now, was that really needed? Obviously
it was, but it really gave me unsettling thoughts. And then,
Andy walks out with his shirt off. Life is good again.
Dave Matthews: I'm too tired
Jock Talk: B
Rattler: This was pretty funny. John McEnroe is in this sketch
too. I think John McEnroe is going to put tonight's SNL appearance
on his resume for Survivor 5,454,232,234,123: The LA Traffic.
Anyways, I love Jeff Richards. It is pretty cool to see him
do a character than his impressions, but his impressions make
him great. I got a good grizzly chuckle out of this sketch.
It wasn't really a full-blown laugh. It wasn't it a little
snicker. It was in the middle, thus the term, grizzly chuckle.
Inside Joke Talley: 3
Troll Doll: Sup? Sup? Sup? Wow.
Okay, so Jeff, whose character mumbles like Drunk Girl, actually
does look like a stereotypical jock: big and muscley. Except
the good-looking part was missing. Seth and Andy were much too
skinny looking I think. Anyway, the ending was great when they
were dancing to Kelly Clarkson, and it looked as if Seth was
whackin' off to them even though he was simply shaking a protein
shake. Oh yes, and yet another time we see McEnroe. I think I've
had it with this guy intruding on Andy's show. Rar.
Rattler says in a sarcastic tone,
"Apparently 'muscley' is a word."
Anyways, I'm glad you said that
because this actually leads me into my Rattler Rant. I was debating
whether to do this again because I didn't want to include the
latest rant I wrote on Wednesday night. However, I was watching
the local news, and there was an interesting small story on it.
In the latest Merriam-Webster dictionary, they included the
term "McJob." McJob is defined as "low paying
and dead-end work." The McDonald's McCEO is upset that
this is now a real word because the secret is now out. Now,
everyone will look at these McDonald's employees as low paid
workers that are going nowhere. I hate to break it to you, Mr.
McCEO, but we already knew that. Whenever I go into a McDonald's
I don't see smiles on these people's faces. I see frowns. Lots
of frowns. Mr. McCEO added that more than a thousand of the
McDonald's owners and operators started out working behind the
counter. Yea, I sprayed shoes at a bowling alley when I was
16. Your point? These guys realized that if they didn't get
an education, that they would be working at their McJob's until
10 years after they die. So Mr. McCEO, as you count your millions
of dollars and do a round of golf, if you don't want the term
"McJob" to be discriminating against your employees,
try giving them a raise. How about instead of starting them
off at $5.15 an hour, they start off at $6.00 an hour. They
deserve it. I mean, these employees have to field complaints
about how bad the McRib sandwich is. So do us all a favor Mr.
McCEO, and give these employees a McRaise.
On a side note, I think it is
pretty cool that the dictionary is now mixing in a little pop
culture and urban slang into the vocabulary. The next edition,
we should be looking forward to the term McRip-off. Use it in
a sentence, you ask? The Big Mac is a huge McRip-off. This
wraps up the Rattler McRant for this week. Thank you.
Action News: A
Rattler: This is, yet, another solid closing sketch. This sketch
was so funny that I woke up the hobo that is sleeping on the
couch in the living room. They probably showed this sketch at
the end because it was more of an experiment. This experiment
was a huge success. Even in a non-speaking role, Will Forte
is awesome. If you are all counting, every closing sketch except
the Kelly Ripa episode has been very good.
Troll Doll: Haha this skit was
funny. Didn't let Forte talk enough though. I guess I could relate
to it, because I hate all that dumb music that plays before the
news. Drives me insane. This was a decent closing sketch. It
made me laugh. Well done.
Rattler: Will Forte was the star of the night. Every sketch
he was in was brilliant. Andy Roddick wasn't too bad for an
athlete. He didn't ruin any sketches, and he had John McEnroe
with him the whole night. I'm not sure why John McEnroe had
to be in most of the sketches. Did he give Lorne an undisclosed
amount of money to get on so many sketches? Maybe Kenan and
Finesse should hold a fundraiser, gather money, and bribe Lorne
to get some spotlight. I want to see what they can bring to
the talent. I can tell they are high-energy guys, but I haven't
seen much of them. Anyways, I got a laugh out of all of the
sketches except Merv the Perv. And in case you all were wondering,
John McEnroe made more appearances in sketches than we made inside
Troll Doll: I thought this was
one of the best episodes this season. This episode and the Timerberlake
one. Andy was everything I thought he was going to be. He did
great. I was expecting a Jarrett's Room, so I was a little disappointed
when I didn't see that, but the whole episode made up for it.
I saw a lot of Forte, and that was good. Not enough of Fallon
though. And plenty of Parnell, maybe a little too much. Okay,
maybe I should stop bashing on the guy. Anyway, yeah, this was
a great episode! Go Andy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!