Kelly Ripa / Outkast
November 1, 2003

By Dirty Centaur

Let us begin.

01 A Message From President Bush
bigger envelopes, only accurate thing of the imression was his the use of arms.
Bad: writing, (these political openings have drastically dropped in quality) Darrell's impression
Misc: Time to start going after the 10 Democrats going after Bush's job.

02 Questions From Writers, er Audience.
Black guy's questions, Jim Downey, Steve Higgins appearences, Ruth confusing her for Kathie Lee and telling her she sucks, so very funny, lie about watching her sitcom
Bad: First audience member encouter
Misc: Paula Pell once again this season is on air

03 How Kelly Ripa Does It
Hilarious, nice idea,

04 Regis and Kelly
another great RK sketch, Kattan's funny suprise cameo, Jolie impression, Beyond Borders clip, cat fight
They should've gotten the real Gelman. First talk show sketch of the night.

05 Access Hollywood
Haratio's entrance, concept, Renee impression, couch being lifted
Bad: Fallon's Pat O'Brien is just not up to par, Haratio seemed to almost lose it.
Misc: What was up with the ending, technical problems?

06 Weekend Update
Great jokes that made me think this was WU circa 2000. Finally a very good reason to visit - Tina's Arnold impression. Tina finally regains the Best Anchor of the Night Title. Drunk Girl and her M&M's.
Bad: Jimmy's Rod Roddy stuff. The '66' thing was clever but the whole thing was disgusting. Maybe if OJ Simpson died but what Rod Roddy do to deserve that? Good to hear someone 'boo' him. Plus Tina questioned why he did that, so why do it? Some guy named Haratio Sanz flushed whatever talent he had (he was great) down the toilet and attempted to to entertain us. He did entertain Jimmy Fallon.
Misc: Why does Haratio always sit next to Jimmy? I would be interested to see how things went if he was talking to Tina. Rod Roddy appeared in late July on the Kilby Late Late Show and made a wish come true for Neil Patrick Harris aka Doogie Howser by telling him to come on down.

07 Center For Cow Fart Study
Bad: Predictable, fart jokes can only go so far.
Misc: I'm sure all Forte fans were anticipating to see what he would cook up this week.

08 Lelani Burke Show
Her jingle, Rachel's character
Bad: her conversations and fixiation on Phil Stiles weren't funny

09 Spy Glass
Seth and Amy did well, Jimmy as Pat O'Brien againn. seeing how these people are the bastard children of his. Suggestion that Spice Girl news segments be cut down
Bad: Spice Girl news, trash lady
Misc: If you do get BBC America don't watch this show but watch The Office. Way funnier than this or any network American sitcom on today.

10 Douchebag Dog
Parnell finally makes onscreen appearence, disses a dog, Korean BBQ
Bad: maybe a tad too long

11 Goodnights
Thanks to Outkast, Chris Kattan and Tina loves her dad.

In summary and in conclusion...  This episode limped towards midnight. Kelly Ripa had the best question mono in ages, and then starred in the funniest commerical of the year and a better than last time Regis/Kelly sketch. ... Weekend Update woke up and finally did great as the highlight of the show. Haratio Sanz what can I say. You had it and then the last two seasons has been a disapointment. ... Parnell got the screwgy and is no longer Bush, but that could change next week who knows. Rachel did well tonight along with Amy. Maya even with one appearence didn't appeal to me. Forte had his first dud. ... Andy Roddick will serve (very lame huh) as host next week and barring a barage of former castmember cameos I don't see an improvement. Alec Baldwin will also host the week after, so their is some light at the end of the gloomy tunnel. The writers like to pick on Craig Kilborn. ... Best of Tracy Morgan was suprisingly good, but ta! ppered off at the end.

Could've Worked A Double Shift At Aubesians & Such: Kenan (O sketches)
Should Be Fired & End Up Working @ Aubesians & Such: Haratio Sanz
Performers of the Night: Tina Fey and Rachel Dratch

Read @ SNL Transcripts : Kelly's Q+A, Regis and Kelly, WU, Tressant Supreme
Could've Watched Centaur Racing While These Aired: Cold Opening, CFCFS, Lelani Burke, Douchebag Dog, Outkast

Repeat That For Me, Tina Fey: The Lakers fined Kobe Bryant this week after he insulted teammate Shaquille O,Neal, calling him childlike, unprofessional, selfish, fat, and jealous. Bryant then added Shaq couldn,t rape his way out of a wet paper bag'.
Appeared on Fox This Past Week: Norm MacDonald, Dennis Miller

Nov.08 Andy Roddick, Nov.15 Alec Baldwin, Dec. Orlando Bloom ???

Finally, in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, a man allowed his 8-year-old daughter to take the wheel of his car, and an accident ensued that damaged seven other cars and injured six people. Which once again proves my theory: Women can't drive!