Jack Black / John Mayer
October 4, 2003

By Dirty Centaur

This is The Dirty Centaur. And SNL had their 29th season premiere. No grading for me I have to say Stooge has a very good format. So I'm stealing it. Or showing how good it is by using it.

01 Arnold's 5 Points And Things Of That Nature
Good:
Darrell has the facial features down, writers did their thing,
Bad: Darrell doesn't have the voice down, no Gray Davis, Arianna, Cruz or Tom McC
Misc: He's got Richard Gere's and John Travolta's vote.

02 Opening Credits
Good:
Forte, Seth and Jeff bumped to RP, seems more alive
Bad: Armisen stuck in Featured Player label, Lenny was snubbed!
Misc: Where were these three new featured players that everyone said would join the cast? 

03 Not This Jack!
Good:
New set is okay. Kyle Glass, Will Ferrell, Jack's family backstage was amusing. Didn't fall apart the farther it went backstage.
Bad: No Lorne
Misc: Hey it's Seth Meyers! No it's WILL! Did Darrell just go home after the cold opening?

04 Huggies Thongs
Good:
Nice idea
Bad: Thong song, one joke commerical
Misc: Already 12 year olds wear thongs so babies are next?

05 Queer Eye For Straight Gal
Good:
Carpet joke, other typical lesbian stuff
Bad: The critics comments kinda killed it.
Misc: Paula Pell cameos, I wouldn't be suprised if this ever happens...Tina probably wrote this

06 The Wade Robson Project
Good:
Jack's dance moves,
Bad: Everything else, another sign SNL's audience are those mall hookers
Misc: I never heard of this show, have you?

07 Cooking Class
Good:
Gabe, Vasquez and his garlic, Gerald's hair and his resume, Ruth
Bad: Starting to get predictable with Gabe + Ruth,
Misc: Watery stools disgust the audience, Pete didn't click but potential as Tracy's replacement, they should use Cutco cutlery

08 Yankee Superhereos
Good: 
Got the Yankees and what they do down, mentioning of Booya!, Jeter's powers
Bad: Made their point very quick, Robert can do better,
Misc: where are The X-Presidents? Recall in Calli? Maybe if I was a New Yorker...

09 Weekend Update
Good:
Jeff's Rush Limbaugh impression, top notch. What Bush Can't Find. Keenan's Bill Cosby
Bad: Finesse's movie comment on Denzel's new movie was a tad long. Emmy clip shoud've ended after Cosby mentioned his wife's name.
Misc: CTHD is a few years old, probably something from FM's standup. Larry David was the 'while guy' behing Cosby at the Emmys and the actor they had play him was okay. Larry was a writer for SNL back in the 80s and only got about a few sketches on air. The ones that didn't make it, ended up as Seinfeld episodes. No new opening or WU set. Black people aren't that great in hockey. Insert Chris Rock's comments here.

10 I Was On Cheers
Good: 
Amy's dead on Shelly Long impression, Cheers song
Bad: Banter wasn't really funny
Misc: Bring back Long in future

11 Wine Tasting
Good: 
Managed to continue be funny after countless wine tastes. Salvaged show.
Bad: Predictable
Misc:
Dratch as her usual old lady

12 Last Telemarketing Call Ever
Good: 
Forte's line, drinking fountain line, the axe
Bad: Just Jack, no cast really, cut at the end due to time
Misc: Just watch TV while you eat dinner. Great bumper to end sketch.

13 Goodnights
Misc:
Quick thankyous to John, Kyle... Will the writers and cast. Then NBC cut to something that anybody who watches SNL ain't watching and would rather see the credits.

In summary and in conclusion... Jeff has another great impression. Darrell will make atleast one appearence next week since Arnold will either win/lose. Will and Kyle could've been used since the show was weak at times. Pull out the Celebrity Jeopardy! set and let's bagel! Rudolph was everywhere. The new guys were good and for some reason looks like they'll appear more often than Tracy and Dean. Of course this was the first epiosde.When the Tenacious D Movie is out, Kyle and Jack should host together. Looking forward to the show, and disapointed. C'mon writers...

Could've watched Centaur porn while: Wade Robson Project, Yankee Superheroes, John Mayer performing aired.
Stud of the Night: Jack Black
Trip to Solyent Green Factory: Forte could've done 1.5 tours between the mono and the last sketch
Read @ SNL Transcripts: Arnold's 5 Points, WU, Telemarketing Song

Oct.11 Justin Timberlake Oct.18 Halle Berry Oct.24 Halloween Special? Nov.8 Will Ferrell?
Nov.15 Steve Martin?, Brendan Fraser Nov.22 Mike Myers?, Alec Baldwin?