Aniston / Black Eyed Peas
January 10, 2004
Here in Massachusetts, it is
a nice 3 degrees out. I watched the Pats, and decided to stay
home and watch SNL after the game.
It was just Darrell saying the same shit he always does when
he plays Trump(Broads with nice racks, he's rich, build more
buildings.) He talked a little about "The Apprentice,"
is new show that I could care less about. Jimmy playing John
Landis was OK, but weak for the Cold Opening. RATING: **
We get to see one of the planned endings to "Friends."
This was pretty bad, and what the hell was Horatio doing as Joey.
Everyone else who played "Friends" charcters were not
very good. The only thing funny was at the end when Joey shot
himself.Funny how she did not mention her upcoming film "Along
Came Polly". Not very good. RATING: *1/2
PAPARAZZI AT THE RED CARPET
Man, did this thing drag. With the exception of Jennifer, playing
a photographer, yelling at herself about when she was having
a baby, this sucked dick. At least have cast members impersionate
some celebrities, instead of looking at people walk by with the
heads not showing. Poor choice for first sketch. RATTING: *
** Next week is Nick Lachey and
Jessica Simpson with G-Unit. As bad as this sounds, it can't
be worse than this.
BRITNEY SPEARS WEDDING
This was all the writing staff could come up with. OK Jason is
stupid and Britney is an airhead. They dragged this crap on for
what felt like an hour. Jennifer was OK as Britney, Jimmy was
OK as Jason. A couple of good lines, and the end wasn't so bad.
This is the third time this has aired, and it still was the best
thing on the show. RATING: ***3/4
DEMOCRATS AGAINST HOWARD DEAN
I was really disappointed at this. The way the candidates were
set up and with the music in the background,
I thought that they were going to sing. Well they didn't, but
Forte was funny as John Edward, and Kenan's Sharpton was OK.
This also dragged on, but it had some good stuff mixed in. RATING:
BLACK EYED PEAS
I cannot stand this fucking song. RATING: *
Actually some really good ones. The Bush on the moon joke and
the Aguilera and Newman from Seinfeld 69 joke were really good.
The only crappy ones were the Colin Powell and Kate Hudson jokes.
This was pointless. Jeff can impersonate so many people, but
Steve Irwin is not one of them. RATING: *
3 MURDERES WHO GOT OFF
Finesse as OJ, did a decent job. I still think that he is useless.
Fred was Phil Spector was good, and Darrell was ok as Robert
Blake. RATING: **
AL FRANKEN'S ONE MAN MOBILE UNIT
Why am I watching this? You know you have a really sorry excuse
of a writing staff when you rip off mediocre pieces from 13 years
ago. Luckily, the soldier at the end saved this from being a
disaster. I dont think that a single person made a noise until
he spoke. RATING: *
TOTAL UPDATE: **
SADAAM AND OSAMA TALK ON THE
Why am I still watching this show? Can Horatio go ten seconds
without laughing? This was watchable until Horatio and Jimmy
completely gave up, not that I blame them. This piece felt like
it lasted three hours long. a few funny jokes at the beginning,
but why are they recycling the Ron Jeremy jokes? Apparently the
writers think that they have struck COMEDY GOLD with it. RATING:
Oh boy, a country music parody. No one cared or laughed. RATING:
COCO AND MATSUI
Last year Maya and Fred teamed up for EURO TRAX, now it's time
to do a Japanese talk show. This was dreadful until Jennifer
started to interview herself. It was actually ok. RATING: **
BLACK EYED PEAS
It sucked, but the dancing was kinda cool. RATING: *
APPALACHAN EMERGENCY ROOM
Hey, did you know that rednecks were stupid? I didnt, but lucky
for me those brilliant writers at SNL did. A few of the characters
were funny(Amy and Darrell). I think it would of been better
if instead of a jar of cotton balls, Parnell sat on a copy of
the "Country Roses" CD and it went up his ass. RATING:
A phone-sex operator who doesn't talk dirty. Holy shit is that
funny, especially since she works for RAW SEX. Here now is a
list of things that I would of rather done than stayed home and
watch this show: Trim my pubic region with a weedwacker, watch
an ironman match between John Heidenreich and Nathan Jones, ride
shotgun with Nick Nolte at 3am on a saturday night, and get drunk
and perform a vascetomy on myself, blindfolded. RATING: 1/2*
MVP: The Crowd- for wasting their
saturday night locked in hell.
LVP: Writing Staff-I wonder what
got cut, because this was one pisspoor job by the writers, considering
they have had almost a month, and this is what they came up with.
Absurdity: Jimmy Fallon in more
sketches than host
POST SHOW THOUGHTS
This was without question the single worst episode that I have
ever watched live. I could not believe how little effort went
into the writing. If it was up to me, I would fire the entire
staff. This is easily the worst show of the year and with Nick
and Jessica hosting next week, things are not looking too good.