Jennifer Aniston / Black Eyed Peas
January 10, 2004

By jojo

Here in Massachusetts, it is a nice 3 degrees out. I watched the Pats, and decided to stay home and watch SNL after the game.

DONALD TRUMP
It was just Darrell saying the same shit he always does when he plays Trump(Broads with nice racks, he's rich, build more buildings.) He talked a little about "The Apprentice," is new show that I could care less about. Jimmy playing John Landis was OK, but weak for the Cold Opening. RATING: **

MONO
We get to see one of the planned endings to "Friends." This was pretty bad, and what the hell was Horatio doing as Joey. Everyone else who played "Friends" charcters were not very good. The only thing funny was at the end when Joey shot himself.Funny how she did not mention her upcoming film "Along Came Polly". Not very good. RATING: *1/2

PAPARAZZI AT THE RED CARPET
Man, did this thing drag. With the exception of Jennifer, playing a photographer, yelling at herself about when she was having a baby, this sucked dick. At least have cast members impersionate some celebrities, instead of looking at people walk by with the heads not showing. Poor choice for first sketch. RATTING: *

** Next week is Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson with G-Unit. As bad as this sounds, it can't be worse than this.

BRITNEY SPEARS WEDDING
This was all the writing staff could come up with. OK Jason is stupid and Britney is an airhead. They dragged this crap on for what felt like an hour. Jennifer was OK as Britney, Jimmy was OK as Jason. A couple of good lines, and the end wasn't so bad. RATING: **

GAYSTROGEN
This is the third time this has aired, and it still was the best thing on the show. RATING: ***3/4

DEMOCRATS AGAINST HOWARD DEAN
I was really disappointed at this. The way the candidates were set up and with the music in the background,
I thought that they were going to sing. Well they didn't, but Forte was funny as John Edward, and Kenan's Sharpton was OK. This also dragged on, but it had some good stuff mixed in. RATING: **/12

BLACK EYED PEAS
I cannot stand this fucking song. RATING: *

WEEKEND UPDATE
JOKES
Actually some really good ones. The Bush on the moon joke and the Aguilera and Newman from Seinfeld 69 joke were really good. The only crappy ones were the Colin Powell and Kate Hudson jokes. RATING: ****

STEVE IRWIN
This was pointless. Jeff can impersonate so many people, but Steve Irwin is not one of them. RATING: *

3 MURDERES WHO GOT OFF
Finesse as OJ, did a decent job. I still think that he is useless. Fred was Phil Spector was good, and Darrell was ok as Robert Blake. RATING: **

AL FRANKEN'S ONE MAN MOBILE UNIT LINK
Why am I watching this? You know you have a really sorry excuse of a writing staff when you rip off mediocre pieces from 13 years ago. Luckily, the soldier at the end saved this from being a disaster. I dont think that a single person made a noise until he spoke. RATING: *

TOTAL UPDATE: **

SADAAM AND OSAMA TALK ON THE PHONE
Why am I still watching this show? Can Horatio go ten seconds without laughing? This was watchable until Horatio and Jimmy completely gave up, not that I blame them. This piece felt like it lasted three hours long. a few funny jokes at the beginning, but why are they recycling the Ron Jeremy jokes? Apparently the writers think that they have struck COMEDY GOLD with it. RATING: *

COUNTRY ROSES
Oh boy, a country music parody. No one cared or laughed. RATING: *1/2

COCO AND MATSUI
Last year Maya and Fred teamed up for EURO TRAX, now it's time to do a Japanese talk show. This was dreadful until Jennifer started to interview herself. It was actually ok. RATING: **

BLACK EYED PEAS
It sucked, but the dancing was kinda cool. RATING: *

APPALACHAN EMERGENCY ROOM
Hey, did you know that rednecks were stupid? I didnt, but lucky for me those brilliant writers at SNL did. A few of the characters were funny(Amy and Darrell). I think it would of been better if instead of a jar of cotton balls, Parnell sat on a copy of the "Country Roses" CD and it went up his ass. RATING: **

RAW SEX
A phone-sex operator who doesn't talk dirty. Holy shit is that funny, especially since she works for RAW SEX. Here now is a list of things that I would of rather done than stayed home and watch this show: Trim my pubic region with a weedwacker, watch an ironman match between John Heidenreich and Nathan Jones, ride shotgun with Nick Nolte at 3am on a saturday night, and get drunk and perform a vascetomy on myself, blindfolded. RATING: 1/2*

OVERALL: 1.69

MVP: The Crowd- for wasting their saturday night locked in hell.

LVP: Writing Staff-I wonder what got cut, because this was one pisspoor job by the writers, considering they have had almost a month, and this is what they came up with.

Absurdity: Jimmy Fallon in more sketches than host

POST SHOW THOUGHTS
This was without question the single worst episode that I have ever watched live. I could not believe how little effort went into the writing. If it was up to me, I would fire the entire staff. This is easily the worst show of the year and with Nick and Jessica hosting next week, things are not looking too good.