Ben Affleck / N.E.R.D.
March 13, 2004

By Eric G.

I went to the dress rehearsal. I'll go through the sketches that made the live show first.

Sully and Denise: I was shocked that this opened the show. I met Darrell the night before and he mentioned something about a Donald Trump sketch to open that was still being worked on. The Sully and Denise sketch was probably the best opening sketch they've had this year.
Grade: A+

Monologue: I think Ben went through more shirts in the dress rehearsal. At least this was a shorter monologue, and it was decent.
Grade: A+

Z-105: Ben and Jimmy laughed their way through this in dress. I thought this was ok, but not one of the better ones with this character. I think it needs to be retired.
Grade: B

Gigli Extra: Glad to see Fred got a sketch so early in the show again. At first I thought it would be a cheap, offensive sketch, but this was pretty well done. It was one of my top 5 favorite sketches of the year. Fred needs to be upgraded from being a featured player.
Grade: A+

TV Funhouse: I really didn't want to see TV Funhouse two weeks in a row, but this was really good. The George Bush ads in between were great.
Grade: A+

Appalachian Hospital: Glad to see another one of these. I never guessed this would become a recurring sketch. I liked the part with the finger nails stuck in Finesse's face. Unfortunately, from where I was sitting I could only see Seth sitting at the desk.
Grade: A+

Bangkok Ad #1: This was longer in the dress rehearsal. After "Only Bangkok" appeared, it went back to Seth trying to pay off Darrell's character with cocaine. Without that part, it seemed kind of stupid in the live show.
Grade: A+(dress version) 

Weekend Update: I was surprised all 3 guest commentaries got on. I don't think
that's happened in awhile. Finesse must be great doing stand-up. I liked when Tina asked Bill Clinton to go back to his piece.
Grade: A+

Top O' The Morning: Everybody cracked up in the dress version too. In dress, when Horatio went through the wall, a sneaker was left by the wall, but it wasn't the same kind that Horatio was wearing. Jimmy spotted it and ad libbed a line about it not being the same kind of sneaker, and everyone in the sketch was hysterical. 
Grade: A+

Bangkok Ad #2: I thought maybe this would get cut for time and only 1 and 3 would make it on. I'm glad they got all 3 on.
Grade: A+

Sidecar: I can't believe this made the live show. I thought for sure if any sketch of the night would be cut, it would be this one. 
Grade: F

Bangkok Ad #3: This was hilarious! I was shocked when I saw Kelly Ripa.
Grade: A+

Full Moon Killer: Again, I don't see why this made the live show. The audience wasn't too responsive to it. 
Grade: F

Overall: It got off to a lively start, but those last two sketches were two of the worst of the year. The whole live show could have been great.
Grade: B

Sketches that got cut:

Game Show: This had Ben playing a game show host, and he started off by going up to the 3 contestants (Finesse, Seth, Rachel) and introducing them by reading off information about them that he had on cards, like where they are from, and their occupation. However, with Seth, he had tons of personal information about him that just got more and more outrageous. He had so much information on Seth's character that they never got around to playing the game. I hope they give this sketch another try.
Grade: A+

Merv The Perv: This was one of what I thought were the 3 deadly sketches of the dress rehearsal, and I'm glad they at least cut one of them. This time he showed up at a lammaze class. It should never see the light of day agian.
Grade: F

Adult Film Awards: This was a pre-recorded bit that I think had been cut the week before. Horatio was playing Ron Jeremy, and the joke was that with FCC rules, they could only air a few seconds of the show. It needed to be cut.
Grade: F

Desert Island: Rachel played a fan of Ben's who was stranded on a desert island with him after their cruise ship sank. Ben was panicking about how they would get off the island, but Rachel was more concerned about getting his autograph and maybe re-populating the island. By the end of the sketch they were making out, and a ship full of paprazzi showed up. Ben said that whenever he kisses someone, he knows paparazzi will show up. He got into their boat, and Rachel asked if there was room for her, and he said no, and they took off without her. This one of the best sketches of the night. 
Grade: A+