Christopher Walken / Foo Fighters
February 22, 2003

By Chris Shifty

2000/2001 (16) _ 2001/2002 (20) _ 2002/2003

R_e_v_i_e_w___1_3___O_f ___T_h_e___S_e_a_s_o_n:
TV Moment of the Week . Pre-Show Thoughts. The Review. The Rankings . Insert Mark Polishuk Here. Goodbye with Connie Stinson. Next Time. Thanks.


Television Moment of the Week: Joe Millionaire & The Bacheorette finales, great drama from The Shield & 24, the MJ footage we were never meant to see, Simpsons 300th (302) Episode, Will Ferrell on Conan O'Brien, Married with Children Reunion, were all contenders. I actually didn't see the Wacko Jacko stuff. But Bret Hart telling Landsberg that HHH is an asskiss who isn't one of the boys was priceless. HBK will get his say on the matter in about two weeks when he visits Off The Record.

______________PRE-SHOW THOUGHTS:____________________________

(01) I've reviewed 49 shows, seen the last 52 regular shows, plus the two Primetime Specials, the Presidential Bash 2000, the Mother's Day Special and the Weekend Update Halftime Special. Here is a list of one damn good show. Segments spawning from when Darrell Hammond first mentioned "lockbox" as Al Gore to to when Jennifer Garner worked in a giant Wal-Mart.

COLD OPENING: The Presidential Couple - Calista Flockhart 2000
MONOLOUGE: Conan O'Brien's - Conan O'Brien 2001
COMMERICAL: Wade Blasingame - Val Kilmer 2000
SHOW: Palm Beach - Val Kilmer 2000
SKETCH: News Media - Jon Stewart
TV FUNHOUSE: Micheal Jackson - Gwyneth Paltrow 2001
SHOW: Celebrity Jeopardy! - Lucy Lui 2000
MUSIC: U2 performs "Beautiful Day" - Val Kilmer 2000
WEEKEND UPDATE: Jimmy Fallon & Tina Fey - Katie Holmes 2001
SHOW: Hardball with Chris Matthews - The Rock 2002
SKETCH: Centuar Job Interview - Christopher Walken 2001
MUSIC: Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band perform "Lonesome Day" - Matt Damon 2002
COMMERCIAL: Crackli! n' Oat Flakes - Calista Flockhart 2000
SHOW: Inside the Actor's Studio - Billy Bob Thorton 2001                          GOODNIGHTS: Winona Ryder's - Winona Ryder 2002

Breakdown: 15 segments, 2000-2001 [09] 2001-2002 [04] 2002-2003 [01]. Kilmer's show had a sketch, commerical and music while Flockhart had a commerical and sketch. Of course, there are a dozen more sketches that could've been put in there.  

(02) Greg recently asked why I have the Insert Mark Polishuk feature. This is from Mark's episode review from Reese Witherspoon.  I got this idea a few weeks back to start a campaign to get my name mentioned on SNL. If you support the idea of having myself (and by proxy, the entire SNL on-line community), then be sure to either e-mail SNL via their <>official website and demand to hear Mark Polishuk's name on Saturday Night Live. If you are a reviewer yourself, cut-and-paste the following line in each of your reviews (preferably near the top): I WANT TO HEAR THE NAME 'MARK POLISHUK' ON SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, SO IF YOU ARE ASSOCIATED WITH NBC, MAKE IT HAPPEN! Together, we can all make this happen! Go forth, my minions! E-mail, e-mail! Make me famous!

So I thought I would bring some more light to the subject.

CS: Thoughts on the feature?
I really enjoy it, since it keeps my ego nice and inflated. Seriously, I'm really flattered that someone still thinks me relevant enough to mention my name every week.
CS: Any other plans to get your message across?
There is always sky-writing.
CS: Have you given up?
Give up? Are you kidding? I'll be like (Bob Barron wrestling reference coming up) Steve Austin at WrestleMania XIII, in enormous pain and with blood dripping down my face, yet still refusing to give in. "Though I die, the revolution... lives... on."-- The Mole, from "South Park: Bigger, Longer, Uncut."
CS: Would you ever consider attending a live show and yelling out your name during the monologue or when there is a pause?
Since I don't want to get my ass kicked by NBC security, I think I'll pass. Also, I'd like to see more of a "grassroots" effort, rather than taking the bull by the horns myself. For example, Sean Bradley recently got his FACE on SNL, so that inspires me. I'm not really holding my breath, of course, since the odds are kinda slim.
CS: What is your favourite curse word?
....Frosted nuts.

(03) Spoil me. Well and I quote from Sean's site: a "Hardball" sketch, with Darrell Hammond, a "Continental" sketch, with Christopher Walken, a "Rialto Grande Show" sketch, with Chris Kattan as a Vegas lounge singer joined by Christopher Walken Possible Cameos: Will Ferrell, Steve Martin, Britney Spears. Don't kill Hardball guys. Christmas doesn't come everyday. The Continental's appearence guarantees us hearing Phil Hartman's voice which is great in my books. This only happens when Walken hosts so it hasn't been killed, but have they done all they can with the format? The Rialto Grande Show is quite popular with Kattan fans. It was alright, I didn't think it could become rercurring but if Walken shows up he might bring some laughter as well. Will Ferrell appeared on a great Late Night last night which included him streaking in t! he hallways. It kinda looked like he was wearing a skin coloured semi-see through thong, it was pixelled so you didn't see anything. I'm sure he had his sack sock on like he mentioned when he appeared on Leno. Also, Will didn't leave he stayed and sat while Conan was offered food from the Devil and Jesus, he sat with Philip Seymour Hoffman and Jim Gaffigan's standup material. Great show all around. So if Will didn't jet off to his hotel did he stay around the studio to help out SNL? Could he appear on Hardball? Could Steve Martin appear on Hardball? Martin has the Oscars and Bringing Down the House. Britney Spears? And I quote from Joey Gladstone's tombstone: "Cut it out!"


COLD OPENING: Hardball with Chris Matthews [8.4/10]

Well Hardball is my current favourite SNL sketch, but I don't like how they keep on airing it. What makes it so great is it doesn't appear so often. Now granted the Halftime Special was a shortened version, but lets not kill it. Luckily unlike other sketches that are played too often these are great. I wasn't expecting a cold open but finally the streak of poor cold openings ends. Darrell really seemed to enjoy playing Chris tonight. Ever notice that most Hardball's have Chris' in them. Kattan, Parnell and Walken. Only a few didn't have any. Unlike Celebrity Jeopardy! which relied on Burt Reynolds and Sean Connery, they've been able to use other people and not miss a step. Parnell was alright, he's usually better on Hardball as Bob Barr. Suprised to see Walken in a opening but SNL has given the LFNY baton to a lot of celebrities this year so why give Walken the shaft? Perfectly played the anti-American Frenchman. I read an article on how Amerians a! re having a all things French boycott (as seen later in the night). Another fine political sketch, missed a little something.  

LADIES & GENTLEMEN: The Crazy Mix-Em-Uping Christopher Walken [7.2/10]

No suprise here with Walken singing. Only suprise might be that no castmembers joined him. When Walken said he can do "crazy mix-em ups" that was great. Wasn't excellent but like they said they had trouble coming up with ideas and why try to top his earlier monos?

SHOW: Pranksters [8.5/10]

At first I was thinking how could this sketch be first. Kattan and Seth weren't doing all that great. Then when Kattan left I knew they would be setting up Walken for something. But it was nothing like I was expecting. Walken fit this role well and just the joy in his face would make you laugh. Then they showed the clip of Parnell getting pranked. Take that Stiffy Stifferson! This reminded me of the other kids shows SNL has poked fun at with a 'what if?' scenario. (Rachel's big boobs, Friendship Fred) Seth fit the role did well here. First he's into the show and then he's in shock and wants to end it. Could this sketch return? Well they already pranked a person by killing him so what else can you do? Plus what can top Walken's characer?

SKETCH: The Continental [8.3/10]

Everyone loves hearing Hartman's voice. Does anyone know the camera man who always visits... The Continental? Some political stuff slides in here with the boycott of French stuff. Bugles with cream cheese, well I've never had those. Walken should become that cheese product's spokesman. "They cheese your hunger away!" This edition wasn't the best one, but still entertaining. Few hosts have sketches where they're the only characters and the sketch itself is popular.

SKETCH: Lifeboat Elections [8.4/10]

They have a Best of Steve Martin. They should have The Best of Chris Walken and this sketch should find it's way on it. Walken plays the worst capatain and the worst person in the world to be lost in a raft. Like Tim Calhoun, he did cocaine. All the terrible stuff he did just kept on rolling and just wouldn't stop. He was just a ass. Will, Fred and Seth were also great in this. Another Walken sketch for the night.

SHOW: History Channel Remembers [7.6/10]

Dean is actually seen on TV and Tracy only appears in pictures. Damn, I stepped in The Twilight Zone again. Amusing brief segment. Is Dean finally finding his way onto the show in major roles for sketches?

SKETCH: Colonel Angus [7.8/10]

At first I went '...?... Oh!' Naughty SNL. Could only been done in The American Civil War in the deep south. Rachel plays an old woman, she doesn't have a recurring character who is old but I would wager a good portion of her roles are older ladies. Amy, Parnell, Walken, and Rachel do well with the dirty lingo. Wasn't expecting this type of sketch. Jeff's only appearence, but he was funny.

WEEKEND UPDATE: with Jimmy Fallon & Tina Fey [8.8/10]

Why a high grade? The WU guests. Christina, plus one of the greatest SNL hosts, one of the greatest SNL castmembers and one of many terrible SNL hosts. It's so sad to see Tina's jokes bomb. Especially when Jimmy seems have been given the better jokes, but they still weren't great. Remember Tina's rant of Hef's girlfriends. The audience loved it. Her latest rant this one on got no laughs at the end. It was like watching a bad episode of Late Night when she had the pictures. The Donahue and Billy Joel jokes were wretched. Okay kinda harsh. Steve Martin is the King of SNL Hosts he can do whatever he wants. Pointless cameo? Well it was damn funny and his question of if it was good was priceless. Perhaps next season he'll host. Will should've mentioned he did his movie 'Old School' and that was it he's done with Hollywood since we've all seen him promote the movie. Liked the Colin Farrell/Will F! errell joke. Doesn't Britney watch all the jokes Tina makes about her? Well Christina did. Maya - delightful impression. SO, if the cameos didn't appear who would've shown up? I don't know but what I do know is this had huge potential to be the worst WU and best WU ever. Had the guests not shown up and if Christina bombed it would get the label of Crappiest Update Ever. Had the jokes this week be hillarious and the cameos were how they ended up it would have the honour of being the Update of the Century. (remember we just started a new one.) Christina Aguilera and Britney Spears should've done something instead. "Just regular cameo length. Just a few more seconds, and... there we go."

SKETCH: The Lovahs with Walter [8.4/10]

Walter? Lover? Uh-oh. Well not really. Will could've done a dozen things if he was going to appear in a sketch. I'm not alone when I type this, I've read other reviews. But anywho this was one of the better Virgina And Roger sketches. I liked that they brought back Walken's character. So how long was this planned having Will do a sketch? Him having no ride was a nice nod to Walken's last show. They could've had Virgina have the bad back or something since we've seen Rachel get angry ("who the balls wrote Felix Mendelson?") and let her toss Roger. Still, something else could've been done. Will Ferrell: (annoying yell) "Me and Dratch are selfish!"

SKETCH: Rialto Grande Show [8.0/10]

"I just want to put it in!" Chris Walken with his pants down, once again he does stuff you don't see coming. Fred Armisen's character wasn't relied on as the previous sketch but it's good to see him as the pathetic drummer. Some more lame dirty jokes. Chris and Chris actually did better than the first sketch. One of the better last sketches of the season. Possibly best. The waitresses are a nice touch.

OVERALL SHOW RATING: 81.4/100 = [81.4/100]

Well for a Walken show it was in a way a disapointment. As a show in the 2002-2003 Season it's the highlight. The cameos did help. Steve is Steve. Which host is often thought to be a castmember from the 70s? Steve Martin. Quite a bit of cameos. Jim Carrey found his way into The Foo Fighters' second performance. You would think he would appear in a sketch if anything. Will Ferrell did a WU bit and then brought back a old character. Now Will appears in the best episode of the season. Does that mean the show is only great with Will? No. Ian McKellan and Jon Stewart's shows from last season didn't have Will at all and two of the best from last season and McKellan's were my favourite. Sure the cameos could've been utilized much better, but they came out pretty good. If only Will and Darrell could appear together in a sketch one more time.

Walken had another great performance. He also has his great delievery. SNL should get some more Oscar nominated (and winners) instead of more Jeff Gordons or Britany Murphys. Where was Haratio Sanz? Dean has a decent sketch and Sanz stuff is cut? Most of the cast had one sketch with a major role, which is good.

Back in the first review of the season I selected who I wish would host this season. In the second review I added Nia Vardalos to the list. So two wishes came true this season, Walken and Vardalos. Why do I bring this up? Steve Martin and Jim Carrey were also on the list.

TONIGHT'S THREE MALE STARS_________________________________________ are brought to you by Christopher Walken for Skittles

01 - Christopher Walken (Another five star performance. Mr.Walken brought back The Continental and got another recurring character in Walter the carless lover. All his roles were kooky and only he could deliever the line "Stiffy Stifferson." Best hosting performance of the season, sorry Mrs.Vardalos.

02 - Chris Parnell (Well really hard to pick the other male stars of the night. Ferrell and Hammond could've found themeseleves here but I went this way tonight. Hardball appearence, just seeing him get killed and his Colonel Agnus' friend.)

03 - Seth Meyers (Pranksters host and then the 'food' on the lifeboat.)

TONIGHT'S THREE FEMALE STARS__________________________________
are brought to you by Colonel Belmont's Old Fashioned Horse Glue

01 - Rachel Dratch (old southerner, Virgina, waitress)

02 - Maya Rudolph (Christina, Walter's ride, waitress) 

03 - Amy Poehler (daughter, Tina bombed in WU, waitress)


IMPRESSIVE IMPRESSIONS: Darrell as Chris Matthews, Maya as Christina Aguilera

[Insert Mark Polishuk Here] Cruise Shipcaptain, Wow. Little known fact: Mark's father was kicked out of the Canadian Navy for a very similar incident. Plus Mark takes craps where ever he feels like and Mark is never to far away from a flare gun. He has a anal bum cover so he doesn't hurt himself. See that's why Connery invented it.


The Rankings includes Halftime Special

01] (8.9) Gore......DEC 14 02] (8.4) Murphy......NOV 16
03] (8.3) Damon.....OCT 05 04] (7.5) Vardalos....NOV 09
05] (7.5) Liotta....JAN 18 06] (7.5) McConaughey.FEB 08
07] (7.4) DeNiro....DEC 07 08] (7.2) Walken......FEB 22
09] (7.0) McCormack.NOV 02 10] (6.8) Garner......FEB 15 
11] (6.4) McCain....OCT 19 12] (5.4) Gellar......OCT 12 
13] (5.0) Gordon....JAN 11

01] (8.4) NRA Happy Hunting..........[Damon OCT 05]
02] (8.3) NRA Reminds You............[Damon OCT 05]
03] (8.0) NutriQuick.................[Damon OCT 05] 
04] (8.0) Welcome Back, Potter.......[Murphy NOV 16]
05] (8.0) Straight Talk..............[Liotta JAN 18]
06] (7.9) Big N'Tasty................[DeNiro DEC 07]
07] (7.5) Drop the LBs with Missy E..[Vardalos NOV 09]  
08] (7.4) John Handcock Insurance....[McCormack NOV 02]
09] (7.4) Pier 1.....................[Vardalos NOV 09]   
10] (7.3) Glenda Goodwin Attorney....[Vardalos NOV 09]

01] (9.5) JAN 26] SHOW: Hardball with Chris Matthews
02] (9.3) JAN 26] CO: American Idol 2 Credits
03] (9.0) NOV 09] SKETCH: Day Spa *tied 3rd*
04] (9.0) DEC 07] CO: Tom Ridge's Briefing *tied 3rd*
05] (9.0) DEC 14] CO: Al and Tipper Makeout *tied 3rd*
06] (8.8) NOV 02] SKETCH: The Celebrity Game *tied 6th*
07] (8.8) NOV 09] CO: Bush Does Math *tied 6th*
08] (8.5) NOV 09] SHOW:CBS News Election 2002 Coverage *tied 8th*
09] (8.5) OCT 05] CO: Cheney's Ride *tied 8th*
10] (8.5) NOV 16] CO: Adam Sandler Returns *tied 8th*
11] (8.5) DEC 07] SKETCH: Peter Pan *tied 8th*
12] (8.5) FEB 22] SHOW: Pranksters *tied 8th*

01] (9.1) WU Special.JAN 26 02] (9.0) Garner......FEB 15
03] (8.9) McCain.....OCT 19 04] (8.8) Damon.......OCT 05
05] (8.8) Walken.....FEB 22 05] (8.7) Vardalos....NOV 09
07] (8.2) Gore.......DEC 14 08] (8.2) Liotta......JAN 18
09] (7.9) McCormack..NOV 02 10] (7.9) McConaughey.FEB 08
11] (7.6) Gellar.....OCT 12 12] (7.4) Gordon......JAN 11
13] (7.3) Murphy.....NOV 16 14] (7.1) DeNiro......DEC 08

01] (81.4) Walken...FEB 22 02] (78.8) Gore........DEC 14 
03] (78.5) Vardalos.NOV 09 04] (77.6) McCain......OCT 19 
05] (76.3) Damon....OCT 05 06] (75.8) WU Special..JAN 26 
07] (74.8) DeNiro...DEC 07 08] (72.5) Liotta......JAN 18 
09] (71.3) Garner...FEB 15 10] (67.3) McConaughey.FEB 08 
11] (65.3) Murphy...NOV 16 12] (63.8) McCormack...NOV 02 
13] (63.4) Gellar...OCT 12 14] (56.4) Gordon......JAN 11

We Have An Opinion with Greg and Shifty - 4th Edition as seen in Greg's Review

Topic 01: The cast member who made the biggest mistake leaving? 

Shifty: Was Mark McKinney let go or did he leave on his own? Jon Lovitz admitted he made a mistake and that would be my pick. Facts aren't solid in my head but, the deal was he had a choice of filming a movie but he would miss the first two weeks of SNL. Lorne said you can do the movie but don't expect to be on the show. So Lovitz decieded he would do the movie and leave his job at SNL. His movie carreer still hasn't taken off so that's my pick. Runner up would be Chevy Chase. He left over a woman and that relationship ended pretty quick.

Greg: Well leaving and gettting fired are 2 different things. The cast member who made the smartest move leaving is probably Eddie Murphy. He was just about to get huge and he's hanging with Joe Piscopo. Smart move leaving for him. Also Dana Carvey might be the dumbest move for a cast member ever. Leaving and doing absoulutely nothing is what he's done the past 10 years. You could also say Chevy Chase after 1 season, Jan Hooks even, and of course from the past few seasons we've seen 2 very talented cast members leave and do absoutely shit. The first is Colin Quinn, oh wait, I forgot he has a show at like 3 in the morning, yeah thats going somewhere. And who could forget the Gilda Radner of the 90's Cheri Oteri. She said she was doing a show on CBS. 3 years later nothing, that was a very dumb move on her part, she was at the peak of her comedy on the show t! oo.

Shifty: Well Dana did have his ABC show and he did have huge heart problems.
Topic 02: Which host that made his/her hosting debut over the past 3 years, who is most likely to make another hosting appearance? 

Shifty: Conan O'Brien since he works in the same building. Plus Lorne is the executive producer of Late Night and SNL. That's my view. The way SNL is booked now it might not happen. Sarah Michelle Gellar and Chris Walken have hosted prior to this season and all the rest were new.

Greg: I agree with Shifty in Conan O'Brien to make another appearance, that show was great from 2001. Also Sean William Scott from 2001 too made a great hosting debut, and I feel should be asked to host again. Also this shows going way back to when I did my first review back in 2000, the infamous Kate Hudson show. I thought that was a great show and maybe if that new movie shes in does good she should be asked again.

Topic 03:  Favourite Suprise Cameo?

Shifty: Tough call. Dan Aykroyd and Steve Martin returning in the last Roxbury Guys sketch. The Festrunk Brothers aka Two Wild and Crazy Guys cameo was just a great way to show SNL's past and SNL's present [at the time]. Having Dan ask Cameron Diaz if she wants to go look at porn on the internet, was great since that's what those two would be doing right now. Steve and Dan hadn't hosted SNL either for awhile and they still haven't hosted SNL since then. Plus they take the Roxbury Guys' woman away. There would've been a huge ovation if they brought the Roxbury Guys sketch one last time for Will's last show but alas it didn't happen.
Greg: I agree once again with Shifty on the last Roxbury shit with Steve Martin and Dan Akroyd making cameos, but some others I liked as well were Kid Rock/David Spade going on Update in 2001, pl! us who could forget Robert DeNiro makind 2 cameos, one in 2000 with a great conversation with Jimmy Fallon and an appearance on the Joe Pesci show with Jim Bruer with of all people Joe Pesci in 1997. The fact I;m writing this late to Shifty makes it possible for me to include tonights show when Jim Carey joined Dave Grohl and the Foo's for Times Like These. Never saw that one coming.

Topic 04: which featured player should be dropped by the end of the season? 

Shifty: No question Seth Meyers. Honestly, I would say Dean. Bring out Exhibit A, which would be Jerry Minor and Exhibit B which would be the tape of all his sketches he appeared in Exhibit C which would be the tape which contained all of Dean's sketches. Jerry's would be longer and funnier. Mr.Minor was also listed as a writer in the credits. So logic would say Dean but he managed to stay on for an extra year. Tracy is leaving so does Dean automatically become the head black castmember? Which would put him in a lot more sketches since when Tim was around he had his share of sketches [later in his carrer], and when Tim left Tracy found himself in a lot more sketches. Case closed.

Greg: I sort of agree with Shifty here with Seth Meyers, many forget that he was used a lot last season, but this year nothing. If he doesn;t do much of anything by season's end they should drop him.

Shifty: I was joking about Seth.

Topic 05: Best SNL Movie?

Greg: Wayne's World 1 and 2 was great comedy. I liked Blue's Brothers with Dan and Belushi, not sure of the 2000 one either. The worst SNL movies I've heard are Stuart Saves his family and It's Pat.

Shifty: It's Pat is regarded as the worst one but I haven't seen Blues Brothers 2000 or A Night at the Roxbury. Can't go wrong with Wayne's World. Took a popular sketch, made it into a movie and was able to make it a satisfying film. It also made a huge amount of money which pretty much let any popular SNL recurring sketch to get a movie. Mike Myers and Dana Carvey showed the chracters can be funny outside Wayne's basement.

Topic 06: Amy or Dean the better Wacko Jacko impression? 

Shifty: Give Amy some facial hair and you have yourself a body double for Jacko. Amy has the looks but Dean had the voice down. Now none of them sang and that would be the true test. So I'll go with Dean here.
Greg: Amy by far. She had the whole white face that Jackson is sporting now, and that was a key. Dean could never pull that off, on that note, I'm out of here for this week, thanks for reading, later.

___________And So Now Its Time To Say Goodbye______________________.

Connie Stinson: Guys, guys... wait a minute... wait, wait... We're at the end of the show. I think this audience is trying to tell you, 'Look past the mounds of gross, fat hog flesh, and see the beauty within.' Folks, that's our show. As Baudelaire said, 'Beauty is for those who only see. Real beauty is for those who feel.' Now... if you're a fat piece of stinking hog, you should like that one. Join me tomorrow for more idiots and freaks.

NEXT TIME: Queen Latifah Her movie looks good, perhaps a better choice. Hard to top this episode, and I don't think she will.

THANKS TO:,,, The SNL Message Board, SNL Transcripts, and for you for either skimming or reading this.

If it's Sunday, you're reading SNL reviews. Go Sens! (Lalime leads leauge in shutouts. Suck on it Brodeur, Belfour and Joseph. Well they were are Olympic goalies and it's coming up to the one year anniversary so only Joseph can suck on it.)