Nia Vardalos / Eve
November 9, 2002

By The Notorious JMG

COLD OPENING - Bush addresses the nation following the elections
Chris Parnell
Pretty funny. That's really all I have to say. Although the delivery of
"Live From New York, It's Saturday Night" could've been done a LOT better.
8

MONOLOGUE
Nia Vardalos, Tina Fey, Rachel Dratch, Chris Kattan, and a bunch of Greek
people
You know, I think the last time the "monologue" was actually a monologue was
eight months ago when Jon Stewart hosted. How damn hard is it to just let the
host stand on a stage and make an idiot of him/herself?
5

SWIFFER SLEEPERS
This again? I didn't like it the first time, and I think it's stupid this
time.
NR

THE BLOATER BROTHERS
Fred Armison, Nia Vardalos, Jimmy Fallon, Chris Parnell
Oh for God's sake, these two are recurring characters that need to die and
SHOULD'VE died when Parnell initially left the show. For another thing, does
Fred Armison ever play non-foreign characters? I mean, come on, Nia Vardalos
is an actress who should be doing better sketches than this shite. Armison's
line definitely sums up this whole sketch AND these characters - "You guys are
lame-o!"
3

COMMERCIAL FOR EIGHT CRAZY NIGHTS
This really has nothing to do with the show - it's just what the NBC affiliate
aired during a commercial break.
Now here's a dude who I wish had never left the cast. Adam Sandler and a
Hanukkah movie? That's gonna rock!

STUDENT COUNCIL ELECTIONS
Darrell Hammond, Seth Meyers, Jimmy Fallon, Maya Rudolph, Nia Vardalos, Rachel
Dratch, Will Forte, Fred Armison
Whoa whoa whoa! Since when is Hammond Dan Rather? Keep him as Ted Koppel,
for God's sake! I mean, this sketch was kinda funny, but at the same time, it
was kind of a waste of time. But while I'm here - DEAN! Holy God, it may
have only been his picture, but DEAN!
Once again, we have a case of one character's line summing up the entire
sketch - Jimmy Fallon with "This is lame!"
I will give the sketch this - an unforgettable line came out of it - "The
voters have spoken, and they have spoken in Klingon."
5

NEXT WEEK - BRITTANY MURPHY & NELLY - I won't be home, so I will DEFINITELY be
taping this. Brittany Murphy is hot (have you seen 8 Mile!?!?!?) and Nelly is
the shiz-nit.

COMMERCIAL FOR EPISODE II
Yet another great commercial - Yoda and Christopher Lee duking it out.
November 12, I will be buying me a new DVD.

LA FEMME DAY SPA BIKINI WAX
Nia Vardalos, Rachel Dratch
Amusing, but the humor was just a bit too feminine... one of my female friends
was cracking up during this sketch, though... she said guys should try it
sometime. I said, not a chance in hell... ever.
7

EVE 1
Blah. I've never really liked Eve. Sorry. While I'm on the subject, it's
really too bad that Eminem was just the musical guest six months ago, because
he has got some great tracks in 8 Mile.
4

WEEKEND UPDATE
Tina Fey, Jimmy Fallon, Seth Meyers
WTF? Katherine Harris got elected? Too bad Ana's gone! As it is, though,
you can never go wrong with jokes about elections. In fact, most of the jokes
were pretty good tonight. And then - you bring in SETH MEYERS!!! He always
makes WU better... you think they'd ever consider replacing Fallon with him?
One unfortunate note - Tina didn't have a rant tonight! I'm disappointed.
7

COMMERCIAL FOR DIE ANOTHER DAY
Hell yes. It's the next Bond movie - and this time, it's not just Bond's
usual Aston-Martin DB-7, but Halle Berry's got a Thunderbird. This is gonna
be a great movie.

THE FEREY MUTHAR TALK SHOW
Horatio Sanz, Darrell Hammond, Chris Kattan, Fred Armison, Nia Vardalos
I figured that they'd never do this sketch again after the disaster that
Darrell's mustache had the last time they did it - but apparently, NBC's
writers agreed with me in that it was funny as hell and decided to bring it
back. And it was worth it. This is always a funny sketch, except when...
Oh my God, Darrell's mustache is falling off again. Not as bad as last time,
but still...
8

THE FALCONER
Will Forte, Chris Kattan, Fred Armison, Nia Vardalos
Kinda silly... I mean, it was funny in its own right, but not so much so.
6

KIRSTIE ALLEY'S SHOPPING THERAPY
Rachel Dratch, Nia Vardalos, Horatio Sanz
I'm certainly sick of all the Kirstie Alley commercials too... however, I
don't seem to understand why they had two sketches with Nia Vardalos beating
the crap out of Rachel Dratch.
6

DROPPING LBS WITH MISSY E
Nia Vardalos, Jeff Richards, Tracy Morgan, Rachel Dratch, Eve
Good to see Tracy Morgan is still alive. Unless he's doing a movie, they
really need to use him more, because he is probably one of the funniest actors
the show has ever seen. This was a fairly amusing sketch, too.
7

EVE 2
Damn, her DJ is a shameless promoter, isn't he.
4

GLENDA GOODWIN, ATTORNEY AT LAW
Maya Rudolph, Nia Vardalos, Rachel Dratch
The funny thing is... this wasn't too very different from all those sleazy
late night lawyers you see on TV. Still and all, though, this was definitely
end-of-the-show filler.
5

COMMUNITY ACCENTS
Horatio Sanz, HOLY SHIT DEAN EDWARDS, Chris Kattan, Nia Vardalos
Horatio's character is almost like a cross between Tim Meadows' old "Community
Programming" character and Al Franken's Stuart Smalley. Whatever he's
supposed to be, he's annoying. And do my eyes deceive me, or do I see Dean
Edwards IN A SKETCH?!?!?! Again, end-of-the-show filler.
6

81/140 - 58% - F

Boy was this a stinker. I figured, with Nia Vardalos hosting, it would
probably be great. You notice, though, the only "Greek" spoof in the entire
show was during the monologue. I'm fairly sure I haven't seen an SNL this bad
in... a couple of years. This was just a low energy, schlubb show. And where
was Amy Poehler?

Okay, I have to go sulk now at the fact that University of Arizona, Arizona
State, and Northern Arizona all got their asses kicked today. Here's hoping
the Cardinals do a little better tomorrow.