Nia Vardalos / Eve
November 9, 2002

By Jessica

hello again everyone.

well as it turns out i did review the november 9th SNL. i'm glad i watched it, cause i have almost nothing but good things to say about it. nia vardalos was a great host.

what's new with me you ask? well, i got a job. i won't tell you where but it's a store, a great store. i also broke my discman, but it turns out that'll it'll be ok cause aparently i have INSURANCE! let's hear it for insurance! ok, on to my review.

PRE-SHOW THOUGHTS: Nia will be a good host, eve will be a good MG, i predict it will be a 8-9/10 show. i'm positive they'll do something about greek people. maybe a big, fat greek party sketch. i still haven't seen that movie. eventually.

rating system: 1 being worst, 10 being best

1. OPENING - BUSH
this was alright. i still like will's bush better though. "hang on... no that's right!" good line. better then last week's guiliani opening.
5/10

2. MONOLOGUE - NIA VARDALOS
this was a good monologue. i loved nia's "me and tina, we're like cousins now" or whatever it was she said. then TINA CAME OUT! as did her mom, and cousins, and family friends... i knew it! a big fat greek party... so anyway, they all gave nia food and someone told tina she was too skinny and stuck some food in her mouth. "i get married?! ah, we dance!" chris kattan as good in there too. loved the dancing circle.
7/10

3. COMMERCIAL - SWIFFER SLEEPERS
what an interesting idea. don't know if they would catch on though... who would use their baby to clean the ceiling? eh this was alright.
4/10

4. SUSHI RESTAURANT - NIA, JIMMY, CHRIS P., FRED
this was alright. it had some good lines, but at times nia wasn't too convincing. jimmy and chris' jokes were so bad they were good. "hope they have a poo-poo platter cause i have a shitake."
6/10

5. CBS SPECIAL REPORT - DARRELL, SETH, JIMMY, MAYA, NIA
this was a great sketch! the nerds were great, darrell's dan rather was great, overall funny! "it was a tough week for sluts." LOL. damn,those nerds though, they were a great little group. "the nerds have spoken, and they have spoken in Klingon."
9/10

6. NEXT WEEK - BRITTANY MURPHY/NELLY
well i only remember brittany from clueless, i haven't seen any of her other movies. i'll see 8-mile on tuesday night, i'm hearing it's excellent. nelly is alright too, i like alot of his songs. we'll see next week.

7. LA FEMME DAY SPA - NIA, RACHEL
omg, this sketch killed me. i didn't stop laughing! "you have children? no, why?" hahahahahahaha i hope this sketch repeats. "you ask your mother, she will tell you you are adopted."
10/10

8. MUSICAL GUEST - EVE
singing 'gangsta lovin'. this is a good song, not the same without alicia keys though. were eve's shins cold? that's the only explanation i can think of for those hideous boots she had on.
8/10

9. WEEKEND UPDATE - JIMMY, TINA
this part is always the best. tonight did not disappoint. jimmy's winona joke was hilarious, as was tina's bobby brown joke- "he's still got it!" damn i cannot believe whitney houston and bobby brown have lasted like 10 years. they seem like to type to divorce after 2 weeks. anyway, tina's red lobster joke was hilarious- "finally, just like old days, you can go to times square and get crabs. let's hear it for crabs!" oh and that walking machine thing was great too. tina and jimmy's walking... LOL. seth meyers is funny, i like his WU bits.
10/10

10. TURKISH STATE TV - HORATIO, DARRELL, NIA
ok, i hate horatio. he's just not funny. but nia's unibrow was funny. it was an ok sketch, i didn't really laugh much.
3/10

11. THE FALCONER - WILL F., CHRIS K., FRED, NIA
ok this new guys must have invented this, cause it wasn't funny and neither are they. a falcon eats at a fancy restaurant and sleeps with nia. eh. not great.
2/10

12. COMMERCIAL - PIER 1 IMPORTS
hahaha this made me laugh. kirstie alley scares me. her eyebrows man... anyway, her commercials irritate me and i'm glad they made fun of her. "only you can protect yourself from kirstie alley."
6/10

13. MISSY ELLIOTT WORKOUT VIDEO - TRACY, NIA, EVE
this was alright. made me laugh sometimes. but missy looks great in her new video! rachel's bit was funny. and there was an eve cameo! cool. i also like this song, 'work it'.
5/10

14. MUSICAL GUEST - EVE
this is a cool song, 'satisfaction'. i like it. i also liked the sweater eve was wearing.
8/10

15. ATTORNEY AT LAW - MAYA, NIA, RACHEL
oh, i hate those stupid lawyer commercials but i do like this sketch. maya is hilarious... it was a pretty good sketch. "cyborgs" hahaha.
7/10

16. COMMUNITY ACCENTS - HORATIO, TRACY, CHRIS K., NIA
eh, kinda boring. horation stinks up every sketch he's in! this wasn't a great sketch... no memorable lines.
3.5/10

so all in all, not a bad show... nia was a good host, next time she comes back they need to write better sketches for her... like pretty living, or something like that. anyway i gotta go but maybe i'll be back next week to review brittany murphy and nelly. we'll see. good night and have a pleasant tomorrow.