Brittany Murphy / Nelly
November 16, 2002

By Maria Sakhrani

First off, I made an error in last week's review. I called the skit with the Bloater bros, the Loader bros. Eh, either way, those characters should be banned effective immediately.

Pre-show time:
Brittany Murphy: currently known as the chick that (gasp!) boinks Eminem in 8 Mile. AKA as "I'll never TE-LL" from Don't Say A Word, the geek-to-chic in Clueless and the voice of Luanne on King of the Hill. Could be funny, but she's kind of irritating. Not as much as our musical guest...
Nelly: Listen dirdee, your two jams have bothered the schiznit all year long. So take off the damn band aid and gimme something I could care to hear, aight? E-I!

COLD SINGING (Now on tour at your local synagogue) Adam Sandler is back with the Hanukkah song...updated for 2002. Not as funny as the first two, but my Jewish friends need something better than "Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel" during that week. B+
Lines: "Tom Arnold converted to Judiasm, but you can have him back!" "Jennifer Connelly is 1/2 Jewish, and I would like to put some more in her!"

MONOLOGUE: 1) she is shockingly thin (even my mom commented and she only watches WU) 2)first 3 lines and she screws up...uh oh. Well, it's East Coast-West Coast comedy wars. Pretty fun (Chris Parnell raps..yea!)...till Brittany Murphy started up. And OH GOD, Dilemma again?! B
Lines:"Nah, he's a little bitch!" "Bitch, I'm President Bush!" "No Shiznit Cheese like 'Corky Romano'!"

"Mr Pottah, I swear! My wand was IN my pocket!" (Harry Potter goes back to school) You get the idea. I'm boggled that Dean was actually shown in the pics, so bonus points. B
Lines:"Due to legal reasons, "Welcome Back Potter" may be known as "Honky in the hood"

"I look hot, but I have no circulation in my legs" (Leather Man) You know, when you realize that Britney Spears does a better job in this sketch than an actual decent actress, you feel like the Eric McCormack show is worth an Emmy. And look at that, Jimmy is breaking out of character again, and worse than usual. Lorne is gonna have a LONG talk with this. Still, Horatio's "EEEEEEE!" is always good for a chuckle. Snake biting at your crotch? Hilarity while shaking your head. D (until the last minute...moves to B+ when the snake bit happened.)
Lines: (on the phone) "I should do what? With my mouth?" "What did he say?" "I'm sorry Choo-Choo, but you're gonna die"

Dec 7th: Robert DeNiro (already, this should be interesting) and Norah Jones (I do like her song...will download her stuff soon.)

"If I use my voice in a funny way and wave my hands around, will people respond?"(Donahue) Ah Darrell. Eases the pain. Man's ratings are so bad, they can't get ads to run. Tracy as Al Sharpton? haha But got kinda boring. C+
Line: "...milk, milk, lemonade, and the other side is where the fudge is."

Sponsored by PETA(Jarrett's Room) Playing Beverly Hills Cop on a Casio and the Flock of Seagull hair...brilliant. But other than that, is it me, or is Horatio is laughing a LOT louder to compensate the bad jokes (Turkey pot pie? Come on!) well, Brittany saved herself another blunder by saying it was part of her condition. At this rate, I think her condition could be real. B- "Or as I would like to call them, Featherren"

"Keep telling the public that I'm not gay, and they'll believe it...eventually" (Butler scandal) Seth! Haha funny, but that's it. C+

Sign of the apocolypse (Tennis time): OMG, DEAN IS IN A SKETCH! Not sure what the point of Scott is, but back to the news: DEAN IS IN A SKETCH! B
Line: "Antiquated? That's a big word, Russian Barbie"

Music: Nelly and Kelly. America changes the channel at the same time. N/A

Looks at the clock. 12:24 and still no WU? Meaning a lot less sketches tonight. But based on some of the material, that would be a good thing. Fallon, let's remember...this is all your fault.

WU: It looks like they're going through the jokes as fast as humanly possible. And it's the return of Drunk Girl. Joy. And the Phil Collins joke again? Sigh. Fun to see Liza and David (I swear they must be Botox addicts) but overall, subpar people. Though I am highly confused about Richard Gere and Nibbles. "Shut the cameras off" indeed. C-
Line: (on Jen and Ben) "It's the third for Jennifer, the first for Ben and the last for neither" (I personally give it 11 months)

Even on the moon, I still be pimpin' (Astronaunt Jones) This time with friends Nelly and Garrett Morris (yay!) You know how this sketch works. Now multilpy that by 3. Looks like Tracy decided to "improvise" cuz the close captioning said to show her "boobies" and those are typed up in advanced. Instead, he used the word that shant be said on TV, even this late. Father Lorne is gonna be busy on Monday. B+

(Veggietales) Well I found the cucumber priest having relations with gherkins to be a riot, but I didn't really pay attention. N/A

(Jack Handy) Nuff said. D-

Music: Nelly. (click)

(girl with no gaydar) Chris grabbing Jimmy's ass. Hmm...I wonder. Wait, Dean speaks again?!?! Wow, this is his night. Well, at least we finally got a lesbian in this. But...pretty dissapointed this time around. C-

Post game: Well, we have a new leader in "worst show this season". (And last week gave me hope that Eric McCormack's show was a fluke.) Brittany Murphy had absolutely NO personality, can't do live comedy and Calista Flockhart is looking much healthier by the minute. There were many awkward pauses and screw ups tonight. Even the WU was awful. Keep in mind the next guest is DeNiro. He may be surprisingly funny, but a major perfectionist. The gang has 3 weeks to regroup and try to repair some damage. Expect Lorne to remind them of that 24/7.

See ya in 3 weeks! :D