Eric McCormack / Jay-Z
November 2, 2002

By Alyssa N.

Well, another week of SNL has passed. I hope everyone had a great Halloween. I almost went trick-or-treating last minute as Arianna the Spartan cheer leader, but I decided to pass this year, so I handed out candy instead. I have discovered something new that irks me about Halloween, and feel free to e-mail me if you had people like this too at your door. I had seven (yes, I counted) moms holding their one month old or so babies, who were dressed in costumes, at my door. They were also holding a trick-or-treat bag full of candy, and they were trick-or-treating for their baby. Now, come on, how low is that? They are using their baby to extort candy from innocent people, like myself. Think about this...That baby pretty much exists on a diet of formula and baby food, so do you really think you're going to fool me that your baby loves Snickers and Kit Kats? Yep, I didn't think so...
To the person who keeps e-mailing me from that www.someonelikesyou.com website: Thanks, buddy, but I don't think it will work out, as you're a 45-year-old male, and I am a 14-year-old girl. You know what kind of stares we would get?...Pedophile!!!
And now, for the review:

Cold Opening "Rudy Giuliani": We see the former New York City mayor (Darrell Hammond)shooting countless political ads for candidates he has never heard of in various states, from Maryland to Wisconsin to Montana. Rudy is reading from the TelePrompter, and keeps stopping to ask the writers (Chris Parnell, Seth meyers, Will Forte) about what he is supposed to be saying. There is one in Louisiana who "served as a woman, then a man, and then a woman again." I think the best ad was the one about Heinrich Himmler running in Montana, and how he is "Rudy's hero." I think Darrell is one of the best impressionists ever. He has the Rudy voice down to a tee, and the look isn't bad either.
OVERALL GRADE: 92%

Opening Monologue "I'm not gay!": Eric McCormack comes out and immediately addresses the question of "Are you gay?" We then cut to a very fruity looking guy saying that he isn't gay, but loves Eric's work on Will & Grace. We then have another gay-ish guy asking Eric to settle a bet if his eyes are green or hazel, he then tells another guy that he owes him a back rub. We also have a guy asking Eric to make out. And then...Chris Kattan come out-- dressed in the Mango costume, sans the hat, and in arobe. He tells Eric that sometimes people think he's gay, but he is a happily married man, and they cut to a picture of Chris with his "wife" Bernice. (A huge, tough looking old lady.) Chris tells Eric to find the man inside of him and to share it with others. Chris exits with a Mango gesture, and Eric begins to sing, trying to proclaim his straightness. Not a bad monologue...
OVERALL GRADE: 95% (Without Chris, 88%)

"The Bachelor": We see Rachel in a hot tub all over Eric (The Bachelor). He pretends he's asleep and walks out of the hot tub to get away from her. We then see Maya as a ditzy type telling the camera how she has so much in common with the Bachelor, like how she is from Louisiana and he's from St. Louis. The Bachelor seems to really like Maya's character, "because you can tell alot about a person't inner beauty by the way they look on the outside." We then see the third bachelorette, Amber, the one-legged, hypoglycimic lady played by Amy Poehler. (Amber is another impression that I do.) We then cut to a commercial about "Last Chance Tuesdays" on ABC, with John Ritter and company. We then get back to the show and find out that Amber also has Lyme Disease, but don't fret, because it is not contagious. We then have Chris Kattan telling Eric that he must choose a girl, and he picks Bethany, who is Maya's character. Amber then farts her way out of the room, and tells everyone that s!
he'll be on Fear factor next week.
OVERALL GRADE: 95%

"Couples Playing A Game": We have Seth & Maya, Rachel & Eric, and Amy & Will Forte playing a guessing game called Celebrity, where one person gives clues about the celebrity, and the other one guesses. It comes to Rachel & Eric's turn, and we see Eric having trouble on the first celebrity. Rachel gets mad and throws a glass at the wall screaming, "What the hell!" They ask if they would rather watch Spider man on DVD, but Rachel says no. She begans to scream at every thing that Amy & Will get correct. She skips Maya and Seth's turn, but her husband Eric is having trouble giving her clues, and they don't get any correct. Rachel screamsand tears the curtains off the wall and throws vases and everything in sight. She grabs a fakes tree and begins to thrash more items, wanting to know who wrote one of the elebrities. Everyone is shaking in fear, and Rachel says, "So, whose turn is it?"
OVERALL GRADE: 92%

Talarico/Frankel ads: We have Ellen Frankel (Rachel Dratch) and Andy Taarico (Chris Kattan) airing ads against each other, and making up statements. They were okay for fillers.
OVERALL GRADE: 85%

"American Morning With Paula Zahn": We finally see Tina in a sketch other than weekend update! Tina is Paula Zahn, with special guest anchor Brent Dunlop. Brent and Paula suddenly become smitten with each other. Rachel as Koatie Jeffers is so excited about Paula and Brent's "love." Rachel has the best facial expressions on SNL, and they worked perfectly as usual here. She tells them how she's so jealous and happy for their love. Brent and Paula then kiss and talk about their love some more. Amy's character, Stephanie Laughlin, is in Russia, and is appalled by Paula and Brent's love, and thinks the news should go on. Brent then presents Paula with a gift of pearlt earrings. We then see Chris Parnell as Terrence the newscaster, also happy for Paula and Brent's love. He sings them a quick line of a love song. We have some more talk about Paula and Brent's love. Chris comes in and sings some more.
OVERALL GRADE: 90%

More Frankel/Talarico ads...See above

Jay-Z performs with Lenny Kravitz. I don't like rap, so I won't rate this. Lenny Kravitz is usually good, though.

Weekend Update: We have a guest tonight on Weekend Update(Gene Shalit, really Horatio Sanz.) Gene is always a good guest, and Horatio was good reviewing The Ring and Jackass:The Movie. We also get to see Gene dance again, bringing back memories from his previous Update appearance. The jokes were good as usual tonight, but not the greatest. We also see the Rapping Baby, which wasn't that funny. What was funnier about this was Jimmy's hand motions in the background. We have a few more jokes, and that's the end of Weekend Update.
OVERALL GRADE: 92%

"The Bull horn": The premise is basically Amy Poehler is testyifying agains murder defendent Eric, who keeps using a bull horn. He keeps getting it confiscated, and just pulls out another bull horn. Chris Parnell is the prosecutor, Seth Meyers the defense, and Will Forte as the judge. The only thing that was really funny about this we=as Will Forte and his interactions with Eric. I think Will Forte is my favorite new castmember. I heard a hint of Tim Calhoun in Will's voice, so that really made this sketch even better.
OVERALL GRADE: 90% (Will saved it.)

More Talarico/Frankel ads...See above (Chris and Rachel have the best expressions on SNL.)

"The Radio Personalities": We see Jimmy as a radio personality, and find out that he does different voices of personalities on the radio, including the traffic girl, callers, Sanjay the intern, and man in the box. He has a guest, Eric, who is running for state legislature. Jimmy does well with all of the voices, and is quite crude. He accuses Eric of many crude things, including "stroking it," "getting boonaky from his opponent," "and pooping his pants." It was actually quite funny...
OVERALL GRADE: 92% (I'm in a 92 giving mood today...)

"John Hancock Commercial": Rachel Dratch and Chris Parnell talk about what would happen to their family if he got attacked by a mountain lion or something. (Statistic on screen says that 2 people died of that last year.) She talks about eating out of dumpsters at Long John Silver's and having sex int e Waffle House parking lot. This was a really good commercial...
OVERALL GRADE: 100% (for a filler)

Jay-Z with Beyonce performing "Bonnie & Clyde": Once again, I won't rate this, sinc ei don't like rap. By the way, did anyone hear that Beyonce and Jay-Z are going to get married? It was just a rumor that I read somewhere...

"Jackass:The Musical": We see Eric as Johnny Knoxville, Seth Meyers as Steve-O, and Jeff Richards as a rather nasty guy who strips. They were all singing, with an ensemble behind them. We then see Darrell and Rachel saying how horrible it was. It was an okay sketch...
OVERALL GRADE: 80%

"The Bar": We see Maya and Tracey arguing with music behind them at a bar. This is kind of reminescing the old sketch last year where they both sang in a Subway. (I thought that one was better than this one.) I was expecting to hear them break into song, but they didn't. This wasn't too funny, but Tracy can usually make anything semi-funny with his voice and actions.
OVERALL GRADE: 75%

And that's the show! It was overall a good show, but I still think the John McCain episode was better. And where was Fred Armisen tonight? Next week we have Nia Vardalos from "My Big Fat Greek Wedding," and musical guest Eve. This should be a good show, since we really don't know what to expect from Nia Vardalos.

I think Will Forte is going to be my favorite cast member after just a couple more episodes.

Well, I hope to see you back next week. I'm Alyssa signing off...