Senator John McCain / The White Stripes
October 19, 2002

By The Doc

FROM THE OFFICES OF "THE DOC"...

Sorry I wasn't here last week, but like I said in my first review I have a job at a costume store, and we're heading into Halloween when it's getting nuts! 2ndly, After seeing this past show, it leads me to wonder if this is this going to be another "Crap Year" for SNL? I mean, look at the facts... 2 Key players are outta here, (Will & Ana) 2 featured players join to hopefully even it out.(Fred and--the other--Will) Not to mention some of the poorest written sketches I've seen in a long time.

IMHO I think that SNL is overdue for one of these years, I mean even the good lord had to rest on one day. SNL has been, and is going to be around for a long enough time that it won't have to worry about delibrately sucking up a storm. But I digress, If I had a TV Show and lose some of my best performers, I'd probably have a bad year afterwards too... Only diff between SNL & Me, Is that I'd probably be canceled the following season, but that's besides the point. The point being, is that SNL has been through many transitions like this before, and like a duck, they will just let it roll off their backs. There you go, end of Story...

...But Begining of the Review, The last time someone political hosted, Rudy "Combover Jones" Giulianni did the deed. This time around, it's another Republican that I can Tolerate by the name of Senator John McCain. Oh yeah, "The White Stripes" Rock too!
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The Iraqi Vote Or "...And the results are in. For 'Sideshow Bob--100%. For Joe Quimby---1%. And we remind you there is a 1% margin of error."

(TO HIMSELF: Hmmm, Was hoping for a Bush opening, too bad.)
 I'm confused, isn't Darrell supposed to be Saddam? I dunno, it just seemed a little off. Anywho, the people of Iraq must be the most one-track minded people in the world if they feel that a guy as bad as Hussein should be re-elected...Especially if no one is running against him. This was good for a few laughs, but it felt a little dry in the sense that it was trying to spoof an overspoofed spoof. (I.e. The Confusing Ballots) But it was still OK.

Diagnosis: B+
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Monolouge or "Are you ready to laugh?!..." "Be Quiet, you Awful Man!"

"O dios mio"
I knew it! "Ferricito" is becoming a recurring character. And believe me, I'm not "Just Keeding". If they want to keep him going, they better find a new angle for him. Because knowing the history of recurring characters, only one character and one catchphrase ad nausium could kill a guy's career (I.e. Jon Lovitz) Though it was kinda cute to hear Sen. McCain say it in his own way. That was the saving grace.

Diagnosis: B
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Hardball or OK, let's go over the rules. You can't leave 1st without chugging a beer. Any man scoring has to chug a beer. You have to chug a beer at the top of all odd numbered innings. Oh, and the 4th inning is the beer inning." "Hey! we know how to play softball."

Ah, but do they know how to play Hardball?! Great segue, huh? (SILENCE FROM THE AUDIENCE) Yeah! Oh Man, Mark Polshuk made it look so easy... Anyway, This was one of the funnier "Hardball" sketches. Especially Tracy, Even I'm not sure who's getting offended by the "Uncle Tom" comment. But the Kazam/Shaq Jokes, the fact that McCain is playing someone political who isn't himself. (Smell the Irony) Too bad they didn't add that "Insult Punching Bag" Paul Begala. But either way, this was funny, and I now regret saying all that stuff about SNL having a "Crap year".

Diagnosis: A+
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"Lifetime Stalker movie" Or "Homer, I don't want you stalking people anymore, remember when you were stalking Charles Kuralt because you thought he was digging up your garden." "Well, somebody did!"

At first, this would become a crap fest. (Whether Real or fictional, I'm no Chick Flick fan.) But this was actually funny. Not ROTFL funny, but good for a chuckle or two. I thought McCain looked ridiculous in that beard, but that's aside from the point. Also, did anybody with a keen eye notice Chris Parnell wearing and NYPD uniform, even though this story (Supposedly) takes place in Canada? It just struck me as interesting.

Diagnosis: B-
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"Wakefield" or "I'm going to be delivering the hard hitting news to the kids of Springfield...Plus I get to be on TV!"

Of course, the inevitable Road block. But what made this different, was the fact that McCain was a hippie-type person. Other than that, it's the same stupid joke.

Diagnosis: C-
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"TV Funhouse/AGD" or "Homer listen carefully, John is a Ho- Mo..." "Right..." "Sexual!" "AAAAAHHHH!!!" 

It's been many moons since the AGD last dropped by, And as usual, it was hysterical. And if that Dancing of theirs doesn't prove that they're gay, I don't know what will. It would have gotten an A+, but that Fat-ass Jack Welch had to ruin it.

Diagnosis: B+
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"Meet the Press" or "Oooh, a political discussion at our table, I feel like a Kennedy."

Next to Hardball, this was one of the Best Sketches of the Night. It's scary how Darrell Plays Tim Russert "to a T", (Still trying to figure out what that means.) I mean, the non-stop questioning, the misleads and whatnot. Darrell Hammond, if you're reading this, I've got two words for you: "Lifetime Contract" As for McCain, He played the best Straight man I've seen since...Well, anyone in politics.

Diagnosis: A+ 
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White Stripes:

I'm a fan...Of the girl especially, (Call me, Please?), which makes this more difficult to do...

N/A
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Update or "...For Channel 6 News, I'm Kenny Brockelstein."

Finally back on par from the past two weeks, Great jokes, non-stop laughs, even that near mute politician was funny. My personal faves? (In no particular order) Iraqi Idol, The "Pumpkin" thing, Tina's Rant, (What man doesn't love that?) The "Jimmy in Drag" joke, and the "Jet Train" joke. But hands down, the political guy was icing on the cake. Update is back alright, no doubt about it.

Diagnosis: A+
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"McCain Sings Streisand" or "I've said it before, and I'll say it again: Democracy simply doesn't work."

...Especially when you have a guy who's as distinguished as Senator McCain, and have him sing the songs of Streisand...And in a incredibly off-key manner. But ladies and gentlemen, that's exactly why this was as funny as it was. That and the god awful sight of seeing McCain in Shorts. (Though those shorts will never be as short as Will Ferrell's) It was definately unusual to see/hear, but it's the good kind of unusual. If they ever do something like this again, just make sure they find someone who can sing on key.

Diagnosis: B+

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"Big Thick Book" or "Marge, I'm Bored!" "Why don't you read a book?" "Cause I'm trying to reduce my boredom!"

Ugh, I thought they would stop doing these! Does Jack Handey have a Lifetime contract dealie or something? If so, this would explain much. He should just go back to doing "Deep thoughts" like he should. And because of this, this get's the honor of being named..."Oy Vey! of the Day"!

Diagnosis: F

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"Top O' the Morning" or "Marge, I'm going to Moe's! Send the kids to the neighbors, I'm comin' back loaded!"

For an end of the night sketch, this was pretty good. If they manage to do another one of these, they just have to make sure that they don't repeat to many elements. (I.e. "Punching Wall", "Human 8-Ball", "Not Here, Not Here"!) The only problem with this one was the fact that McCain couldn't play a drunk Irishman to save his life. As for the rest of his performances, they were suprisingly well acted. Something that's hard to see a politician do. Getting back to this sketch, like I said, just don't overkill the elements next time.

Diagnosis: B 
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Grand Diagnosis: B+

Prescription: I've got nothing to criticize here, that was a great show. That's how the show should be. Though it seemed as though there were very few sketches. (About 10 at my count.)

Next Week: The good ole' "Halloween special"

The week after that: 2--Will & Grace Cast Members--Down, 2 to go as Eric McCormack Hosts... While Jay-Z Poisons us yet again for god knows what reason.

Oh, and BTW If you wanna know Who I like for the World Series, It's Definately going to be San Francisco Giants. I choose them, cause I'm not rooting for a team that beat the Yankees, Go get 'em Frisco!

Until Next time, "The Doctor is out!"