Senator John McCain / The White Stripes
October 19, 2002

By Sinie Conley

First off, I wanna say hey to Joe Average! Dude has *the* best reviews on here! Good job, Joe!

Pre-show thoughts: A senator. Hmm. I wonder how this one*s gonna be. I was watching an old rerun from when Ralph Nader hosted. He couldn*t really act, but it*s ok. I wonder when Will & Ana are gonna come back and host. Oh well. We can make the best of tonight. The new guys, Fred & Forte (sorry, no offense to this guy, but it*s just weird calling him Will...)are looking like they could do a pretty good job on here. Let*s just wait until mid-season and then we*ll discuss this again, shall we? OK

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Cold Open: Sadaam wins the election

Wow. Big surprise here. I kinda figured they*d do something like this. It was great, though. Horatio is hilarious! Gotta love this guy! Parnell seems like the kind of person who gets confused easily. Probably because of where he grew up. Not dissing him or anything, I live 20 minutes away.

Grade: A
Best Line: "Saddam is running against, well, nobody."

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Monologue: Senator John McCain

This was funny. I love that dude! Looks like we have a recurring character on our hands... McCain seems like he could do a pretty good job tonight. We*ll see. BTW, don*t forget what I said about Joe Average! Read his review, dangit!

Grade: B+
Best Line: "I*m not going to stand here and let you insult them. I*M JUST KIDDING!"

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Hardball With Chris Matthews

Bout time they brought this one back. Hmm. McCain can kinda act. Better than Ralph Nader can, I*ll tell you that. Darrell is awesome. Gotta love this guy, right? Anyway, it was a great sketch, as are all of the Hardball sketches.

Grade: A-
Best Line: "Welcome? Welcome? What are you? Some kind of slave master?"

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Lifetime Movie Network

Hey, I like LMN. They have some pretty good movies. This one would make a good one, though. I think they do go a little over dramatic on their stuff. Oh well. Amy and Maya are great. I think what would have made this an amazing sketch would be if they would have had Suel Forrester as the lawyer. haha Or maybe as the husband. Yeah. That would work. haha

Grade: A
Best Line: "Shall I loofah your back?"

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11.02.02 Eric McCormack/Jay Z Bet Joe Average would have a good review for them.

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Wake Up Wakefield

Randy! Yes! Gotta love Jimmy! Maya looks so adorable in these sketches. Kinda reminds me of when I was in 7th grade, only without the major crush on Randy. haha Cute costume. We had Hawaiian Day at school on Homecoming Week. That was cool. They showed a thing on the school news about the seniors (I*m a junior. 04!!!!) selling leis. The message said, "Bring your money and get leid". haha Leid. Layed. haha Well, I thought it was funny. Dude! My Uncle Tuck (on my grandfather*s side) was in Steely Dan! Yeah! Go Uncle Tuck!

Grade: A+
Best Line: "They*re Steely Dan-o-lanters."

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The Ambiguously Gay Duo

Bout time they brought these guys back! They*re friggin hilarious! I love that car. I wonder if I could ride that to school. WOuld they have a problem with that? Yeah, pobably. No. Nevermind.

Grade: A+
Best Line: "Let*s blow this popsicle...stand."

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Meet The Press

I have never laughed this hard at a single Meet The Press sketch. Ever. I didn*t stop laughing. Even my mom laughed. My mom hates Meet The Press, but she loved this! Good Lord! I suddenly love these sketches!

Grade: A+
Best Line: "What if he forgets to run?" *blah, blah* "I would call the president and remind him to run."

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Musical Guest:

The White Stripes. What the hell is this crap? Ick.

Grade: C+
Best Line: No line. It*s a song.

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Weekend Update:

Wow. I*m surprised they haven*t said something about the sniper tonight. Give them time. Well, maybe not. They wouldn*t go that low, would they? Well, maybe. Oh well. I was watching an old episode today...one with Colin Quinn on Update. He mispronounced Osama. haha Oh well. This was a great one. haha

Grade: A
Best Line: "Robert Downey Jr. appears to be dating - me in drag."

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McCain sings Streisand

Personally, I wouldn*t buy this album, but that*s just me. Somebody might need to scare small children. j.k It was a good sketch, though. Really cute.

Grade: B+
Best Line: "For over twenty years, I*ve have Barbara Streisand try to do my job."

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Big Thick Novel

Sucked.

Grade: C
Best Line: Umm..no.

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10.26.02 Halloween Special YES! Joe Average oughtta have fun with this one!

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Top O' The Mornin

Not exactly the best sketch in the world, but Jimmy and Seth are cute. Still doesn*t help the sketch. I should have liked it too, cause I*m Irish. Not really, but that*s where my grandmother*s mother is from! Oh well. Good try, guys.

Grade: B
Best Line: "I*ve always wanted to write that my father was a drunk and my mother was a slut!"

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Musical Guest:

The White Stripes. Again with the crappy song! Oh no! Will the madness ever end??? I think not.

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Overall Grade: A
Overall Stars: 4/5
Best Line Overall: "Let*s blow this popsicle...stand!"

Post-show thoughts: No mention of Chris Kattan*s birthday? Wow. Shocker. Oh well. HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHRIS! See, somebody*s gotta look out for the little guy. I*m little, so I know what it*s like! Anyway, GREAT show! I*m lucky I didn*t have to pee, or I*d have wet my pants! OK, maybe that*s not something I need to share, but that*s how funny it was!