Senator John McCain / The White Stripes
October 19, 2002

By Maria Sakhrani

Ahh another Saturday. Got back from the Montreal/Toronto hockey game where
it ended in a tie 2-2. And Toronto fans have proven to be classless morons
where beer spilled into the back of my pants (don't ask.)

Pre-game: Well, I'm Canadian, so no idea who John McCain is. As for the
White Stripes, all I know of them is that they have that Lego video playing.
No idea what to expect on both fronts.

"With those berets, who's gonna go against that?!" (Iraqi election) Finally
a good cold reading. Looks like Horatio has a impression he can stick with
Lines: "So this is a real camel derby!"; "Thanks you to the guys in
Starship...what at great campaign song!"

Monologue (Ruffled shirts? Always mean a Latino wearing one): NOO!! Not
Fericito! (Though he's good with the drums.) Nothing special, but looks
like McCain is game for anything which is always a good sign. B
Line: "I'm just kidding!"

now listening to Shaq's CD for subliminal terrorist missions (Hardball) :
NOW the show is back on track. Damn funny and Belafonte lives! A-

Lines o plenty: "'Osama Bin Laden is an Uncle Tom!' 'Good God, I can't even
figure out who's that offensive to'"; (concerning Kazaam, Shaq's movie)
"Some type of terrorist training video"; "Poodles are the black man of the
dog world"; "Pickachu is a slave master"; (singing to the tune of Mr Tally
Man) "Belafonte is a crazy mofo!"

On 11/2 Eric McCormack (About time!) and Jay-Z (H to the izzo, V to the
izzay, WTF is he saying?!)
"Based on a true story...well, maybe the name but that's it really"
(Lifetime movie): Woman gets scared when her husband invades her personal
space and decides to fight the system about it. She loses. What a
shock..of boredom! And we were doing so well C+

"Dude, where am I! Teaching at a school?!" (Wake Up Wakefield) McCain as
the groovy visual arts teacher. He's gonna get heckled by his colleagues
once he gets back to work. Not bad, but was never big on the sketch to
begin with B-

Line: (concerning a student who drank tempra paint) "I need some Vitamin B,
some orange juice and some Allman brothers records"


Canadian network has denied me of TV Funhouse (if it was Gary and Ace,
someone is going to get a nasty email)

While typing this up, I had the channel changed so I come back and turns out
I missed most of Meet The Press sketch. Can't rate it, but seemed the
audience loved it.

Not into the White Stripes, so I skip them.

WU: Getting better each week. Loved Tina's comment at the beginning about
Iraq and North Korea. Don't get the Tim Calhoun bit but people liked it B+.

Lines: (about Bombardier's Jet Train) "The dangers of flying with the poor
safety record of trains." (On Pam and Kid Rock's wedding) "The couple are
registered at the Center for Disease Control"

James Brolin, you know what to do's the duct tape to help you out
(McCain sings Streisand!): About time SNL addressed this, and in damn good
style. A (Would have been A+, but I just can't take ANY of Babs' numbers)

Lines: "I've had Barbra trying to do my job. So I've decided to try to do
HER job"; "Do I know how to sing? About as well as her trying to govern

Bo-ring! (Jack Handy): As I said, Bo-ring! D-

"In my spare time, I actually listen to the soft sweet sounds of the Corrs,
cuz I'm a sensitive bloke" (Top of the Mornin'): Uh...huh. Not sure what
happened other than Jimmy potentially hurting himself. B-/C+

Line "Here's my latest book 'Too Cold to Die: An Irish Christmas Fairy

Looks like the White Stripes were told to cut their song short cuz it barely
lasted 2 minutes. Not a bad song though. B

Final thoughts: Well, the show is back on track. Guess they're gonna give
Parnell a few more weeks to fine tune his Bush impression in time for
November. Sen. McCain, bet your constituents are damn proud of you tonight.
He did a very admirable job and I would like to see him back to host again.

We're on break next week so we'll see each other in 2 weeks. Happy
Halloween y'all!