Senator John McCain / The White Stripes
October 19, 2002

By Joe Average

WARNING: This episode review contains misspelled words, incorrect grammar, profanity, and harsh opinions. Why? Because I don't care.

Now let me get started.
I usually start my reviews off by pointing out something stupid I read from another review. This episode review wont be any different.

About The Arli$$ DVD Skit
You didn't have watch the show to understand what they were trying to say. The sketch didn't really have anything to do with the show really. Let me explain. You know how you laugh sooooo hard, that it feels like you are about to wet yourself? You know the feeling you get when someone makes you laugh so hard that you start to squirm, and can't control yourself because it was soooo funny?? Well, the sketch was saying "watch Arli$$" and you wont laugh, that way you don't have to worry about that "I have to piss" feeling you get from laughing so hard. Get it?? <shakes head no to the people who didn't>. See there, you didn't have to watch the show to get that joke. It was simple (okay class we are going to work on shapes and colors at the end of this review).
The sketch wasn't that funny (neither is Arli$$), but at least I understood it, but let me tell you about what I read in someone's review that had me laughing (not so hard to where I'm about to pee or anything, but funny as in hee hee, look what this guy wrote). I'm not going to say his (or her) name because well that's just not cool, but some person said "I've never seen the Dell Computer guy commercials, I really didn't understand it, but Seth was funny doing a good impression of him". Now let that sink in. 
I want to get into this a little more, but screw that I'll talk about that some other time.

<> <~~~ if you didn't get the Arli$$ DVD sketch.

5 = High
1 = Low


Sketch: Vote Saddam
Players: Chris Parnell, Maya Rudolph, Chris Kattan, Horatio Sanz
What I Have To Say: I liked this sketch. I liked how they were picking on the 2000 U.S. election too with the confused ballots. The sketch was nice.  Good way to start the show off. I can't wait to see Chris Kattan leave. He's boring as hell now. He's taking all the jobs away from the featured players this season.
Key Player: Maya Rudolph
Lamest Player: Chris Kattan
Score:  4
Sketch:  Monologue
Players: Sen. John McCain, Fred Armisen
What I Have To Say: I just knew it was coming back! I just knew Fericito was coming back. I didn't know it was coming back this early though. The joke was old this time, Faricito needs to do something new besides teach comedy. Have him host a talk show or something. Fred's performance was a little weak this time but it was better than John McCain's. I'm not kidding!!!
Key Player: Fred Armisen
Lamest Player: Sen. John McCain
Score: 3
Players: Darrell Hammond, Rachel Dratch, Sen. John McCain, Tracy Morgan
What I Have To Say: It was funny, but it could have been better. Rachel did pretty good even though all eyes were mostly on Tracy and Darrell.  McCain didn't do too bad himself.
Key Player: Darrell Hammond
Lamest Player: Sen. John McCain (I hate to give it to him though because he did play his position).
Score:  3
Sketch:  Lifetime Movie
Players: Amy Poehler, Maya Rudolph, Sen. John McCain, Chris Parnell,
Darrell Hammond, Chris Kattan, Rachel Dratch
What I Have To Say: Man this is just like a Lifetime original movie. Maya and Amy hit this just right. I thought this sketch and idea was very funny, but they could have worked it a little better. I liked Rachel's part at the end too. The women are taking over this year.
Key Player: Amy Poehler
Lamest Player:  Chris Kattan (playing a role that Dean, Seth, Jeff, Fred or Will could have played).
Score: 3.5
Wakeup Wakefield
Players: Maya Rudolph, Rachel Dratch, Sen. John McCain
What I Have To Say: I usually like Wakeup Wakefield, but this one sucked. Rachel tried (harder than Maya) to keep it alive. Sen. John McCain didn't kill it, it was dead before he even came on, but he did attempt to revive it. He can't act, but..he read pretty good. I think Sen. John McCain was nervous or something.
Key Player: Sen. John McCain (for trying)
Lamest Player: Randy Goldman (I was going to give it to Maya, then he walked on)
Score:  2.5
Cartoon Ambiguously Gay Duo
What I Have To Say: I haven't seen this cartoon in a while. It started off nice, but got a little too "tacky". <shrugs> when will that evil Mr. Big Head learn.
They aren't gay, their just.a little sensitive that's all.
Score:  4
Sketch:  Meet The Press
Players: Darrell Hammond, Sen. John McCain,
What I Have To Say: This was good. Even though it was another one joke sketch Darrell kept switching it up on us (even though it was the same joke, him trying to get McCain to say he'd run for President again).
Key Player: Darrell Hammond
Lamest Player: Sen. John McCain (you ol' gook head).
Score:  4
I don't rate the music. 
Sketch: Weekend Update
Players: Tina Fey, Jimmy Fallon
What I Have To Say: Tina started it off good with her rant, then Jimmy came in after her with a lame joke. The onion joke was nice. Oh man, Will Forte showed up. He ripped it! I can't say anything bad about his performance. Now lets see him do it again. The Pumpkin joke was great too. Tina never looses. 
Key Player: Tina Fey 
Lamest Player: Jimmy Fallon (didn't he just hit someone with the pencil he threw?)
Score:  5 (Jimmy's jokes were lame, but not enough to kill it).
  Sen. John McCain Sings
Players: Sen. John McCain
What I Have To Say: Can't sing, can't act...can't do politics. I did like the joke when he said "for 20 years Barbara Striesand has been trying to do my job, so now I'm going to try to do hers" oh man. LOL. He did a good job with this. See this is why they (the writers) win Emmys.
Key Player: Sen. John McCain
Lamest Player:  none
Score: 4.5
I'm not going to rate the big thick books.
Sketch: Top O' The Morning
Seth Meyers, Jimmy Fallon, Jeff Richards, Sen. John McCain
What I Have To Say: It seems like their accents kept coming and going. I bet everyone loved this sketch just because Jimmy and Seth was in it. It wasn't that funny. I tried to laugh at it, but. I couldn't.
Key Player: Sen. John McCain
Lamest Player: Jeff Richards
Score: 2
Don't rate the music.

Key Player: Darrell Hammond
Lamest Player: Chris Kattan (man, Dean Edwards could have took one of those roles).
Overall Score: 3.5

Sense you got the Arli$$ DVD sketch question wrong.
Now class, our lesson in shapes and colors.
What shape is Horatio Sanz?? Okay skip that. What color is Dean Edwards? Yay, you got that right. He's black. Now how about Rachel Dratch?? Very good she's pink.
Now what color is the Maya Rudolph? Hhhhmm that's a tricky one. We'll skip that one too.

<shakes head no at myself> shame on me. That wasn't cool at all. 
I'm going to hell who wants to join me??


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