John McCain / The White Stripes
October 19, 2002
Well, m'dears (for anyone who
saw Tina Fey on Conan,
that was funnyJ) it's my first review. Yah! My excuse
for its lacking in comedic value? Um, I'll get back to
Let me call you sweetheart
People, I have met this incredible man. And I must say
that I am officially in love with him. He is so sexy,
so so so sexy. I want him. Yes, he was about fourteen
when I was born, but true love has no limits! Please
quit being mean about him. I love him.
(And might I add, I was totally into him before
everyone loved him)
Sketch: Saddam's election coverage
My thoughts: Oh yes, this was a good intro, I love
Horatio as Saddam!
Kick ass: "The nobody he faces this years is a much
tougher nobody than the nobody he faced in '95."
Lame ass: I was kinda looking forward to seeing
another Prez Busch sketch.
My thoughts: The audience seems to love Feriseto'.
Personally, I couldn't get over McCain being so
awesome and hosting SNL.
Kick ass: McCain's "I'm just kidding!"
Lame ass: "Ios meos" Didn't he do this on update
already? It wasn't cute the first time and it ain't
Sketch: Hardball (awww yah, baby!!)
My thoughts: God, I love this one. There is only one
thing that could make this incredible sketch better; a
bare-chested Jimmy Fallon pulling me into the TV set...
Kick ass: Umm, all of it? Some of my faves include:
"Good god, I can't even figure out who that's
"Wow, an impressive display of insanity."
"Poodles are the black man of the dog world."
"Pokemon's a slave trader, Pickachu's a slave master."
"Craz-o, craz-o, Benefonte's a crazy mo-fo!"
Lame ass: "People in Maryland have to wear a Kevlar
vest every time they go to the gas station." Ouch!
Poor taste, guys.
Sketch: To Love, Honor, and Stalk:
My thoughts: Sketch got a giggle, but forgettable
Kick ass: Shall I lofa your back? (McCain)
Lame ass: The stupid "this is a real story, based on
Sketch: Wake Up, Wakefield! (yesyesyesyesyes...
My thoughts: I had a friend like Sheldon in seventh
grade, and I was obsessive like Megan. It's close to
Kick ass: "... and this means Randy Goldman is my
boyfriend and we're full-on making out."
Lame ass: "Your hair and clothes smell like
Sketch: Ambiguously Gay Duo:
Third Leg of Justice
My thoughts: I usually love this sketch, Robert Smigel
is a god.
Kick ass: "Thrust lever's stuck! Fix it, Gary. Oh
that's good, oh that's good..."
Lame ass: G.E. chairman Jack Welch
Sketch: Meet the Press
My thoughts: If it's Sunday, I'm not watching Meet the
Kick ass: "What if he forgets to run?" "I would
the president and remind him to run."
Lame ass: McCain seems a little stiff in this sketch,
but maybe he's used to being like that on CNN (I love
him though, he qualifies as kicking some major
Sketch: Weekend Update
My thoughts: Excuse me, but can Jimmy Fallon get any
sexier? Can Tina be any cooler? Will Forte, I agree;
America needs another big lake.
Kick ass: "So first of all, eww, he voted for
"That's right folks, Jet Train: a form of
transportation that combines the danger of flying with
the poor safety record of trains." (Jimmy)
Lame ass: Jimmy wore the same tie last week.
Sketch: McCain sings Steisand
My thoughts: Did you see Babs on CNN? Lord, she is
Kick ass: "... and for over 20 years I've been having
Barbara Steisand trying to do my job, so I decided to
try my hand at her job."
Lame ass: McCain's singing skills (although they're
Justin Timberlake to my skills)
Sketch: Big, Thick Novel
My thoughts: Innuendo season two
Kick ass: The callousness of eating someone's foot.
Lame ass: Eating someone's foot.
Sketch: Top O' the Morning
My thoughts: Jimmy and Seth together in one shot, of
god, the horrible teenage girl hormones.
Kick ass: "You're my best friend, you are." "Not
not now, pull yourself together."
Lame ass: McCain's accent (although funny)
And.... scene. Well, folks, that's
it. Good night and
have a pleasant tomorrow!