Latifah / Ms. Dynamite
March 8, 2003
Do you ever just blurt out random
stuff for fun sometimes and hope somebody finds them funny??
Well, welcome to my review.
(On tap this review: A long
due conversation with Spazo Tom, 2 segments with Shifty, one
unaired, the other brand new)
Big announcement in the first
Okay, had a really boring afternoon
today, let me just tell you how it went and I'll let you decide
what kind of a review writing mood of I am in today. First off,
I was at church for 2 hours, lots of fun there, my Sunday school
class is a bunch of 3rd graders, no explanation there. Next I
went to my sisters basketball game and had to sit through a good
2 hours of Armo girls running back and forth through the court
and if you know anything about Armo girls, you'll see why I was
totally bored, put it this way, my erection ain't coming out
for a couple years.
Spazo Tom: Dude, you totally stole that joke from
Greg: Yes, man, I did. And, by the way it's good to
have you back this week. It was boring on here without you, and
I promise I won't curse you off much anymore.
Spazo Tom: Yeah it's cool man, by the way, is that
Shifty totally sucking or is just me.
Greg: Dude, that's not cool, he's a good guy, former
foe, but we worked out our differences and we really need all
the help on this review as we can get.
Spazo Tom: Alright, so anyway, I was reading your
paragraph up there, and what type of mood are you actually in,
you don't seem that pissed off over here.
Greg: Well, I could put my fist through a wall and just
be like whatever, I could really give a shit if I seriously get
hurt anymore, I'm just in lots of bad moods with shit and pain
doesn't affect me anymore.
Spazo Tom: Wait, a minute, are you back to what
I think your back to?
Greg: Hell yeah man, popping in 'em up. Alright, so
Tom, I think most of the 2 people reading this want to know where
the hell you've been the last few shows.
Spazo Tom: Well I
Greg: Yeah, I can see everybody scrolling the screen
and getting bored, so let's talk about something else. How bout
the Grammys. I liked the format this year. The first 2 hours
were really good, then I was bored out, and changed the channel.
I got tired of watching Norah Jones win.
Spazo Tom: Totally agree, but the thing that pissed
me off was that Bruce didn't win. Lots of good musicians were
neglected and she's just okay, I think Norah stole it all this
Greg: Yeah, well besides her winning there was one other
great thing that was great, the performances. How hot was Avril
out there, that's all I've got to say.
Spazo Tom: Yeah, she was aight, the Simon and Garfunkel
beginning was classic, but didn't it seem like they just wanted
to kill each other, they seemed pissed. It was good to see 2
legends up there. Dave Grohl and Lou Reed, and who could forget
a drunk Dustin Hoffman, it's Springsteen, not Springstreen you
Greg: First curse of the day goes to Tom, but anyway,
Bruce played good, so did Coldplay, Eminem, No Doubt, and after
that I forget. Thank god the Foo Fighters got noticed for Best
Hard Rock Performance. For all of Dave's hard work through Nirvana,
Queens of the Stone Age, and his current act Foo's, he finally
gets some well-deserved recognition.
Spazo Tom: Andhis wife was fucking hot as hell.
Greg: Okay, guess Tom, wanted to end it with that, time
to end it, thanks Tom, I'll see you later man.
Here's an unaired conversation
with Shifty and I that aired on his review last week, but was
unable to send it to me, both our fault, who the fuck cares now,
so here it is, enjoy:
'WE HAVE AN OPINION' with Greg and Shifty - 4th Edition as
seen in Greg's Review
Topic 01: The cast member who made the biggest mistake leaving?
Shifty: Was Mark McKinney let go or did he leave on his own?
Jon Lovitz admitted he made a mistake and that would be my pick.
Facts aren't solid in my head but, the deal was he had a choice
of filming a movie but he would miss the first two weeks of SNL.
Lorne said you can do the movie but don't expect to be on the
show. So Lovitz decieded he would do the movie and leave his
job at SNL. His movie career still hasn't taken off so that's
my pick. Runner up would be Chevy Chase. He left over a woman
and that relationship ended pretty quick.
Greg: Well leaving and getting fired are 2 different things.
The cast member who made the smartest move leaving is probably
Eddie Murphy. He was just about to get huge and he's hanging
with Joe Piscopo. Smart move leaving for him. Also Dana Carvey
might be the dumbest move for a cast member ever. Leaving and
doing absolutely nothing is what he's done the past 10 years.
You could also say Chevy Chase after 1 season, Jan Hooks even,
and of course from the past few seasons we've seen 2 very talented
cast members leave and do absolutely shit. The first is Colin
Quinn, oh wait, I forgot he has a show at like 3 in the morning,
yeah that's going somewhere. And who could forget the Gilda Radner
of the 90's Cheri Oteri. She said she was doing a show on CBS.
3 years later nothing, that was a very dumb move on her part,
she was at the peak of her comedy on the show too.
Shifty: Well Dana did have his ABC show and he did have
huge heart problems.
Topic 02: Which host that
made his/her hosting debut over the past 3 years, who is most
likely to make another hosting appearance?
Shifty: Conan O'Brien
since he works in the same building. Plus Lorne is the executive
producer of Late Night and SNL. That's my view. The way SNL is
booked now it might not happen. Sarah Michelle Gellar and Chris
Walken have hosted prior to this season and all the rest were
Greg: I agree with Shifty in Conan O'Brien to make another
appearance, that show was great from 2001. Also Sean William
Scott from 2001 too made a great hosting debut, and I feel should
be asked to host again. Also this shows going way back to when
I did my first review back in 2000, the infamous Kate Hudson
show. I thought that was a great show and maybe if that new movie
she's in does good she should be asked again.
Topic 03: Favourite Suprise Cameo?
Shifty: Tough call. Dan Aykroyd and Steve Martin returning
in the last Roxbury Guys sketch. The Festrunk Brothers aka Two
Wild and Crazy Guys cameo was just a great way to show SNL's
past and SNL's present [at the time]. Having Dan ask Cameron
Diaz if she wants to go look at porn on the internet, was great
since that's what those two would be doing right now. Steve and
Dan hadn't hosted SNL either for awhile and they still haven't
hosted SNL since then. Plus they take the Roxbury Guys' woman
away. There would've been a huge ovation if they brought the
Roxbury Guys sketch one last time for Will's last show but alas
it didn't happen.
Greg: I agree once again with Shifty on the last Roxbury
shit with Steve Martin and Dan Akroyd making cameos, but some
others I liked as well were Kid Rock/David Spade going on Update
in 2001, plus who could forget Robert DeNiro makind 2 cameos,
one in 2000 with a great conversation with Jimmy Fallon and an
appearance on the Joe Pesci show with Jim Bruer with of all people
Joe Pesci in 1997. The fact I'm writing this late to Shifty makes
it possible for me to include tonight's show when Jim Carey joined
Dave Grohl and the Foo's for Times Like These. Never saw that
Topic 04: which featured player should be dropped by the end
of the season?
Shifty: No question Seth Meyers. Honestly, I would say Dean.
Bring out Exhibit A, which would be Jerry Minor and Exhibit B
which would be the tape of all his sketches he appeared in Exhibit
C which would be the tape which contained all of Dean's sketches.
Jerry's would be longer and funnier. Mr. Minor was also listed
as a writer in the credits. So logic would say Dean but he managed
to stay on for an extra year. Tracy is leaving so does Dean automatically
become the head black cast member? Which would put him in a lot
more sketches since when Tim was around he had his share of sketches
[later in his career], and when Tim left Tracy found himself
in a lot more sketches. Case closed.
Greg: I sort of agree with Shifty here with Seth Meyers,
many forget that he was used a lot last season, but this year
nothing. If he doesn't do much of anything by season's end they
should drop him.
Shifty: I was joking about Seth.
Topic 05: Best SNL Movie?
Greg: Wayne's World 1 and 2 was great comedy. I liked Blue's
Brothers with Dan and Belushi, not sure of the 2000 one either.
The worst SNL movies I've heard are Stuart Saves his family and
Shifty: It's Pat is regarded as the worst one but I haven't
seen Blues Brothers 2000 or A Night at the Roxbury. Can't go
wrong with Wayne's World. Took a popular sketch, made it into
a movie and was able to make it a satisfying film. It also made
a huge amount of money which pretty much let any popular SNL
recurring sketch to get a movie. Mike Myers and Dana Carvey showed
the characters can be funny outside Wayne's basement.
Topic 06: Amy or Dean the better Wacko Jacko impression?
Shifty: Give Amy some facial hair and you have yourself
a body double for Jacko. Amy has the looks but Dean had the voice
down. Now none of them sang and that would be the true test.
So I'll go with Dean here.
Greg: Amy by far. She had the whole white face that
Jackson is sporting now, and that was a key. Dean could never
pull that off, on that note, I'm out of here for this week, thanks
for reading, later.
Great guy that Shifty, been good to work with him, catch our
latest 'WE HAVE AN OPINION' at the end of my review and
his review of course.
Okay, that's all the Spazo Tom
and Shifty convo for now I guess, let's start talking tonights
show. Alex is unable to be here this week.
March 8, 2003 (tonight)-
Queen Latifah and Ms. Dynamite
March 15, 2003- Salma Hayek and Christina Aguilara
April 5, 2003- TBA and Good Charlotte
Yeah, nobody I can guarantee
knows about that one. Good Charlotte is great, so tune in in
Okay, well if you want to
write to Alex or me. My email address is: email@example.com.
Alex's email address is firstname.lastname@example.org. So just send the
emails folks and your answer or response will be posted on here
on the next show.
Onto the pre-show.
Pre- Show: Well, bad choice for host and musical
guest, cause first of all, Queen Latfiah was "in" maybe
7 years ago, and being a regular TV watcher, you can hardly notice
that she's in ad's for Chicago. Also, some other thing I don't
like about her, but I don't want to read all the hate mail for
that one. The music is somebody that has never crossed the conversation
of anybody from 5 years ago till now, so no clue why SNL chose
Ms. Dynamite to be on the program tonight. Seems like a shitty
March show to me, onto the show.
Opening: 60 Minutes- Point/Counter Point
-Good to see Dan Aykroyd and Darrell Hammond in a skit together.
Darrell of course played Bill Clinton and Dan played Bob Dole.
The Clinton role was weak compared to other Clinton stuff. It
was good to see the Lip bight and the thumbs up though.
-I was telling my friends as we were watching this how cool it
would have been if Norm Macdonald walked out doing his Bob Dole
impression, but I think Don Ohlemeyer would have ran his balls
off to wherever the hell he was at the time to stop Norm from
being on SNL again.
Mono: Queen Latifah
-Random monologue. What was with the long applause? Let me just
get this straight, all she has been in was Chicago.
Spazo Tom: Dude, how could you forget the countless
memories of In Living Single
Greg: Oh yeahtotally forgot, thanks Tom.
-That was Sarcastic by the way.
-I liked the rap jokes, Seth and Horatio were funny, but the
funniest part had to be the Missy Elliot thing.
-This is all you need
to know: Jeffs' Baby character is recurring, good lord I know,
and Dean played a major role in a skit, the rest sucked.
Skit: Live with Regis and Kelly
-They brought this back, sweet. Another rare appearance of Darrell
and Amy in a skit together. Overall I liked Darrells' Regis,
but I still think Dana Carveys' impression is better by far.
Dana come back to the dam show.
-Kattans' Gellman is great as always, Queen Latifahs character
I had no clue what was about, I've never seen that American Idol
show, but nude singer doesn't seem that bad. Why was her ass
sooo big?? I liked when she called him Reggie.
Comm: Who Farted??
-Funny Fox Parody
Sketch/Comm: Where are they now??-Cherylettes
-Boring, skip this id you taped it on TIVO.
Comm: I'm a CelebrityWho Farted
-Jeffs' impression of Gary Busey was great as always, and the
priceless Jimmy Fallon as Gilbert Gottfried. I feel bad for Gilbert,
he was stuck in the worst cast of 1980-1981, but he's a really
funny guy on Leno.
Weekend Update: Tina Fey and Jimmy Fallon
-Highlights-Bush jokes, Al Kyda, Kevin Bacon/Footloose 2, Trading
Cards and Cherry Coke. Much better jokes than last week, good
-Horatios Al Kyda was great, funny lines.
-Jeffs' Dustin Hoffman was funny and uncanny impression.
-Parnells brief bit was really annoying.
Music: Ms. Dynamite
Skit: Fight Over Ham
-Pointless at best. Parnells' speech actually made sense for
-Good to see this back. Has Reagan always been this funny, him
as the director was just too funny. The Bugs Bunny and those
toons were weird. The Sponge Bob Square Pants was just too dam
annoying. Good to see Robert Smigel still keeping up with Clinton
in the toon as well.
Skit: A and E Biography
-Bad Signal. (wink)
-All I know was: Darrell did Jack Perkins
Sketch: Horatio has Bad Hearing
-Freds' first appearance. This dragged on too long. The "writers"
sketch as they like to call it.
Closing Credits: Nothing major.
After- Show: Good to see that SNL used a lot of Darrell
tonight. Some decent comedy. I thought a show that starts out
with original Not Ready for Prime Time Player Dan Aykroyd is
going to be a good show, but guess not. The show used too much
of Maya Rudolph tonight and I couldn't stand all of Queen Latifahs
singing. Ms. Dynamiteno comment.
Best of the Night: 60 Minutes- Point/Counter Point Opening,
Live with Regis and Kelly, Weekend Update, X-Presidents,
Worst of the Night: BET, Where are they now
Special Guests: Dan Aykroyd
Lines of the Night:
From the Opening:
slut." Dan Aykroyd as Dole to Darrell as Clinton
From Live with Regis and Kelly:
"Gellman, am I cute
as a bug." Darrel as Regis to Kattan as Gellman after Amy
called him cute.
"Don't go there Reg."-Kattan as Gellman.
From Weekend Update:
"An original work
by Salvador Dali has been stolen from the lobby of the men's
jail at Rikers Island. When asked how this could happen, a spokesman
for the city explained, 'we put a priceless piece of art in a
prison."- Jimmy Fallon
"In honor of Women's History
month, the Women's Museum of Dallas has developed a list of 10
influential women in US history and put their images on a series
of trading cards. Hey, kids! It's the great women of US history!
Collect all 10."- Tina Fey
"Is this the best picture
you could find of me?"-Horatio Sanz as Al Kyda about his
crappy picture the government and Update have of him.
Hey, time for the brand new
segment that all those drunk people love and hate
'WE HAVE AN OPINION'
Topic 1: Best Canadian Cast
Greg: I have no clue
the names of cast members from Canada, if you want to inform
me about some or something that would be great.
Shifty: Off the top of my head: Dan & Peter Aykroyd,
Martin Short, Phil Hartman, Paul Shaffer, Mike Myers, Norm MacDonald,
and Mark McKinney. By doing some scanning of old cast lineups:
Robin Duke and Tony Rosato. Rosato, Duke and Short were all on
SCTV. Back to the topic. Well as a Canadian I would have to say
Mike Myers since even with making it big America he hasn't forgotten
Canada. That's not to say Dan, Peter, Paul, Norm, Phil, Martin,
Mark, Robin and Tony have. Mike just seems more passionate about
Canada. So that's the tie breaker since that's how Canadian things
are done. Most Canadian.
Greg: Well, probably Norm, just cause Norms hilarious,
weak answer, but not of Canadian decent, sorry.
Topic 2: Should Weekend Update change the anchors, and
if so which cast member should take over?
Shifty: I say change the writers. If some of them happen
to be Fallon and Fey then still get some new blood writing. Fey
can go off and write a sketch about vaginas, that's not a knock
against her style of sketches. Fallon can go off and work on
his Pat O'Brien impression. Fey said she used to write for Colin
Quinn and you watch the Comedy Central reruns they pretty much
the same crappy jokes that Update was spewing out in the Chris
Walken show. I'm not a former Joke Writing Olympic Gold Medalist,
but those were terrible jokes and the segment was saved by appearances
by Maya Rudolph, Steve Martin, Ferrell and Britney. If Fey wound
up dead by some crazed fan or had some voodoo curse put on her
by Michael Jackson because of all those 'white woman' jokes and
Fallon went Hollywood I would insert Amy and have Parnell take
a seat at the desk. Parnell is SNL's pitchman and doesn't have
many WU appearances so he would work. Amy just seems right.
Greg: Keep them. Jimmy Fallon is now the 'that cast
member.' He's mostly noticed among the cast in my opinion. After
his MTV appearances I can guarantee a good percentage checked
him out and how can you cut off Fey. She's the fucking Head Writer.
I agree with Shifty to change the writers.
Topic 3, What SNL cast member
from the current cast will have the best after SNL career?
Shifty: Kattan's movie
career doesn't look like he'll be making Adam Sandler money.
Tracy Morgan has a sitcom at NBC so he could pull a David Spade
and do that for a few years. Darrell might have some small parts
in movies and comedy shows, but I see him doing the clubs and
Conan but I would love it if he found huge success. Fallon is
the most popular and already has a movie in the works. Probably
Fallon. Too early to tell with the Featured Cast. Fey is adapting
a script, she might write some scripts make some success.
Greg: Yeah, totally agreeable. I can see Seth Meyers
and maybe Horatio of the later half of the cast, the rest of
the cast who could have decent after SNL work will probably be
Jimmy, Tracy, and maybe Kattan. Parnell has done some good work
before SNL so it's hard to say on him. Amy Poehler actually had
a steady role last season on this show that should have been
a second seasoner on FOX, but those morons over there cancelled
her recurring bit show of Undeclared. Fucking morons them.
Topic 4, Any changes SNL should
make comedic wise next season (like different approaches)?
Shifty: Drop Jack Handey's Big Thick Novel. Perhaps a
few more behind the scenes segments/sketches. Not bring a cast
member on stage, but walk into Lorne's office and pinch a loaf
on his desk then watch a cock fight in Horatio's dressing room.
I've mentioned this before, but a Robert Evans/Kid Stays in the
Picture-style segment. Documentary style talking about SNL's
past. Lorne could do the narration. Brief but good.
Greg: Less Maya Rudolph.
Topic 5, Was Will Ferrell selfish in appearing in a predictable
The Luvahs sketch and should've done something else or is he
like Steve Martin he can do whatever he wants?
Shifty: Many were disappointed with the choice of sketch.
It was a good Luvahs sketch but Will has much better characters
and impressions that could've produced an even better segment.
Rachel Dratch has said she enjoys writing these sketches with
Will, but we had a Luvahs sketch for Will's last show we didn't
need to see it again.
Greg: Everybody had there own opinion on Wills cameo last
week, and it all was the same pretty much, he should never have
even gotten back to his Lovers get-up, but what are you gonna
do. He was selfish, but can you really call somebody who is about
to make it big time in Hollywood just after playing 7 goddam
seasons on SNL. He could have left 2 years ago, but played it
smart, give it up to him for even making an appearance instead
of bashing him. That's it, thanks to everyone reading this still.
Overall Grade: B-/C+
And that is it, see you next
week with Salma Hayek and Christina Aguilara.
Thanks for reading, Have a Good