Queen Latifah / Ms. Dynamite
March 8, 2003

By Andie & Kate


Reviews are hard. So to ctach my rhythm here I'll start with something unrelated to SNL and write about the other thing that takes up my weekend. Baseball. Baseball hasn't officially started yet, but there is always something going on in the MLB, so here it goes:

San Diego Padres: I never expeced to write abou the Padres, but it is still Spring Training, and oddly enough they are thr biggest story. (Of course Steinbrenner picking his nose would probably be a big story this time of year). Phil Nevin dislocated his left shoulder on Friday. There are three bad parts of this story, a) he might be out for the season, b) they lost the game anyway, 2-0 and c) it was to the White Sox. Talk about humiliation.

Atlanta Braves: Ahh, the team who signed Rocker. The Braves are making baseball news this week for an odd reason. Their players continue to sprian their ankles. The most recent sprain? Andruw Jones. But before him during the same week, both Marcus Giles and Rafael Furcal sprained their ankles. The guy who really lucks out here is the announcer for their next game against the Cardinals, "look at him go, he's going fo third...limping..."

New York Yankees: As I am a Red Sox fan I will always despise the Yankees. So when misfortune struck against the Pittburgh Pirates, well lets just say I've been in a great mood. Pettitte was pitching their last game, had a great two innings, and after the third his arm dies. He gave up 5 hits and three walks, claiming he wasnt prepared to make the jump from 18 to 61 pitches. Cry me a river Pettitte, and while you're at it, give me some of your disgustingly overpaid salary.


This week you will be graced with my excellent taste in movies. Arguably you could say that my taste sucks, because I always love what the critics hate, vice versa. So if you're some old farts watching movies and criticizing them with your thumbs, don't read this. And if you didn't like Zoolander just stop now. That movie is pure genius.

The Life of David Gale: The classic line in this movie: "Why would someone frame an innocent man?" OK first off guilty men can't be framed because they are GUILTY. Did that bother anyone else? Unfortunately this movie just gets worse and worse. Mediocre acting from Kate Winslet and a predictable twist or two made this not very worthwhile. But if you do see it, word of warning-don't go with parents. There are a few scenes where it was more than slightly embarassing for my friend and I to be sitting right next to her homeroom teacher.

How To Lose A Guy In Ten Days: Now this was a high quality movie. Mathew McConaughey and Kate Hudson had really good chemistry so their relationship was believable, although sappy. Except for naming his "member" Princess Sofia. That is just mean, any self respecting guywould rather it be Crawl The Warror King. Bottom line, ths move was really funny, sweet,and much better than I expected.

Chicago: I went into this movie a little wary, because I'm not a Zeta-Jones fan and a musical/movie seemed a little shady. But the singing and dancing worked with the script. The director did an excellent job of bringing the musical to the screen. Plus the actors were surprisingly good. Best acting job, no doubt about it-Queen Latifah as Mama Morton. Hope she pulls through tonight too.

Pre-Show Thoughts:

Andie: I have no idea who Ms. Dynamite is. None whatsoever, so I'm not expecting much by way of the musical performance. But after seeing Chicago, I know Queen Latifah can act.

Kate: I think tonight's episode will be good because Queen Latifah seems to be able to do everything. And I really want to see "Bringing Down the House." I wonder if there is going to be another Steve Martin cameo. Maybe he will actually do something this time.

The Review:

Cold Opening: "Bill you ignorant slut" Ahh, the return of Aykroyd. "Throw a beachball like a girl, explore the different aspects of you sexuality." "Look me in the eye and say you wrote one page of that book!" Good cold opening. 7.5/10

Live from New York: its Chris Parnell.

Monologue: "Don't call it a comeback, he's been there for years!" Marks the return of Seth Meyers's ever funny creepy British guy impression. "You mean fear?" "They say ferr." Yep, good old Nellyville. "A Black Man can't own a white horse in this town!" Ahh, ye olde racial profiling. Best monologue of the season. 10/10

106th and Park: Dean in the first sketch, thats crazy. It was surprising that Baby K came back. "What's crackalackin?" "It's a silent killer..." "But I still make mistakes." "Yeah, me too!" Great proof that Dean is still alive, even if not in complete control of his bowel movements. 8/10.

Live Wih Regis and Kelly: Kattan was great in this sketch, "Don't go there Reg," and the the infamous Kattan look. You know a sketch is good when Darrell breaks character. "My mom is 51!" Dead on impressions, "I don't know who that is Rege! Who is that!?" Cocoajugs.com, a website Gelman would never go to. And the poor baby PeeWee, he's going to grow up to be his mother if the picture is any indication. 9/10

Who Farted?: How classy, how tasteful, how, FOX. The silent but deadly was a great twist. And the inclination to blame the fat guy. "He who denied it supplied it..."followed by evil laugh and gas movement. "Sorry, that was me." 8.5/10.

The Cherylettes: We really thought this was not funny. The only part we liked was when she hit Dick Clark in the face with a brick and lived all of our New Years' Rockin' Eve dreams for us. Went too long, 5/10.

I'm a Celebrity...Who farted?!: "When a juicy Busey hits you between the eyes, you'll know it." Jimmy Fallon's impression of GIlbert Gottfried was dead-on.   **Random Fact: Jimmy does an excellent Gilbert Gottfried, along with Sandler and others, on his CD the Bathroom Wall. I suggest you get it. It deserved the Grammy (Kate's random opinion)** 8/10

Weekend Update: Tina set this up to be a good Weekend Update after the first joke. "Kevin Bacon" and "Footloose sequel" in the same sentence, that has to be a sign of the apocalypse. Horatio did a great Mohammed, "I look like a Mario Brother had sex with a Brillo pad!" "You look like a reject from 'My Big Fat Greek Wedding!'" Good Update, we don't think Chris Parnell was necessary. 8/10

Miss Dynamite: You know you're in trouble when your first (and only song) is about your own name. It was like Rico Suave all over again, but without the gold earring.

The Ham Sketch: Only good part was Forte's song and Parnell's walk-on. Although Tracy in drag is always interesting...and Kattan with a tennis racket, the new Kournikova, because if you noticed the raquet wasnt coming into contact with anything. 4/10

X-Presidents: No only do we have Dubya as a president, but because of Smigel we have an all-too-accurate picture of how he came to be. Good idea, less than great interpretation. And Sponge Bob as the moral voice of a generation? Thats just terrifying. 6/10

A&E Profiles in Jazz: We can all appreciate a good sexual innuendo, but the sketch kind of lost the humor after the twentieth one. Not altogether bad, and Deans appearance ups the rating. 6/10.

Walgreens: Ahh, good old Deux ex Machina. But not a goos sketch. Very fitting to a post 12:30 sketch. "Where is it located?" "In the vaginal area." If Walgreens was running these Ads, I'd go to CVS anyway. Good to see Armisen. 5/10.

Mr. Rogers Tribute: There is nothing to review, this was well done and reminded all of the viewers why SNL is such a great show. Fred Rogers was a great man, and he deserved this and much more. 10/10.

Post Show Thoughts:

Andie: Great beginning and great ending. Dipped in the middle as is typical, but still a great episode.

Kate: I think some of the best performances of the night we're by people who we rarely see. Like Dean, Seth and Jeff.

Email any comments and questions to both of us: <mailto:lasbajas03@yahoo.com>lasbajas03@yahoo.com

Andie at <mailto:Ataris1130@yahoo.com>Ataris1130@yahoo.com

or Kate at <mailto:midnightwaffles@yahoo.com>midnightwaffles@yahoo.com.

Next week, Salma Hayek and Christina Aguilera, at least SNL saving money on clothing.