Latifah / Ms. Dynamite
March 8, 2003
Reviews are hard. So to ctach
my rhythm here I'll start with something unrelated to SNL and
write about the other thing that takes up my weekend. Baseball.
Baseball hasn't officially started yet, but there is always something
going on in the MLB, so here it goes:
San Diego Padres: I never expeced to write abou the Padres,
but it is still Spring Training, and oddly enough they are thr
biggest story. (Of course Steinbrenner picking his nose would
probably be a big story this time of year). Phil Nevin dislocated
his left shoulder on Friday. There are three bad parts of this
story, a) he might be out for the season, b) they lost the game
anyway, 2-0 and c) it was to the White Sox. Talk about humiliation.
Atlanta Braves: Ahh, the team who signed Rocker. The
Braves are making baseball news this week for an odd reason.
Their players continue to sprian their ankles. The most recent
sprain? Andruw Jones. But before him during the same week, both
Marcus Giles and Rafael Furcal sprained their ankles. The guy
who really lucks out here is the announcer for their next game
against the Cardinals, "look at him go, he's going fo third...limping..."
New York Yankees: As I am a Red Sox fan I will always
despise the Yankees. So when misfortune struck against the Pittburgh
Pirates, well lets just say I've been in a great mood. Pettitte
was pitching their last game, had a great two innings, and after
the third his arm dies. He gave up 5 hits and three walks, claiming
he wasnt prepared to make the jump from 18 to 61 pitches. Cry
me a river Pettitte, and while you're at it, give me some of
your disgustingly overpaid salary.
This week you will be graced
with my excellent taste in movies. Arguably you could say that
my taste sucks, because I always love what the critics hate,
vice versa. So if you're some old farts watching movies and criticizing them
with your thumbs, don't read this. And if you didn't like Zoolander
just stop now. That movie is pure genius.
The Life of David Gale: The classic line in this movie: "Why
would someone frame an innocent man?" OK first off guilty
men can't be framed because they are GUILTY. Did that bother
anyone else? Unfortunately this movie just gets worse and worse.
Mediocre acting from Kate Winslet and a predictable twist or
two made this not very worthwhile. But if you do see it, word
of warning-don't go with parents. There are a few scenes
where it was more than slightly embarassing for my friend and
I to be sitting right next to her homeroom teacher.
How To Lose A Guy In Ten Days: Now this was a high quality movie. Mathew
McConaughey and Kate Hudson had really good chemistry so their
relationship was believable, although sappy. Except for
naming his "member" Princess Sofia. That is just mean,
any self respecting guywould rather it be Crawl The Warror King.
Bottom line, ths move was really funny, sweet,and much better
than I expected.
Chicago: I went into this movie a little wary, because
I'm not a Zeta-Jones fan and a musical/movie seemed a little
shady. But the singing and dancing worked with the script. The
director did an excellent job of bringing the musical to the
screen. Plus the actors were surprisingly good. Best acting
job, no doubt about it-Queen Latifah as Mama Morton. Hope she
pulls through tonight too.
Andie: I have no idea who Ms. Dynamite is. None whatsoever,
so I'm not expecting much by way of the musical performance.
But after seeing Chicago, I know Queen Latifah can act.
Kate: I think tonight's episode will be good because
Queen Latifah seems to be able to do everything. And I really
want to see "Bringing Down the House." I wonder if
there is going to be another Steve Martin cameo. Maybe he will
actually do something this time.
Cold Opening: "Bill you ignorant slut" Ahh,
the return of Aykroyd. "Throw a beachball like a girl, explore
the different aspects of you sexuality." "Look me in
the eye and say you wrote one page of that book!" Good cold
Live from New York: its Chris Parnell.
Monologue: "Don't call it a comeback, he's
been there for years!" Marks the return of Seth Meyers's
ever funny creepy British guy impression. "You mean fear?"
"They say ferr." Yep, good old Nellyville. "A
Black Man can't own a white horse in this town!" Ahh, ye
olde racial profiling. Best monologue of the season. 10/10
106th and Park: Dean in the first sketch, thats crazy.
It was surprising that Baby K came back. "What's crackalackin?"
"It's a silent killer..." "But I still make mistakes."
"Yeah, me too!" Great proof that Dean is still alive,
even if not in complete control of his bowel movements. 8/10.
Live Wih Regis and Kelly: Kattan was great in this sketch, "Don't
go there Reg," and the the infamous Kattan look. You know
a sketch is good when Darrell breaks character. "My mom
is 51!" Dead on impressions, "I don't know who that
is Rege! Who is that!?" Cocoajugs.com, a website Gelman
would never go to. And the poor baby PeeWee, he's going to grow
up to be his mother if the picture is any indication. 9/10
Who Farted?: How classy, how tasteful, how, FOX.
The silent but deadly was a great twist. And the inclination
to blame the fat guy. "He who denied it supplied it..."followed
by evil laugh and gas movement. "Sorry, that was me."
The Cherylettes: We really thought this was not funny.
The only part we liked was when she hit Dick Clark in the face
with a brick and lived all of our New Years' Rockin' Eve dreams
for us. Went too long, 5/10.
I'm a Celebrity...Who farted?!: "When a juicy Busey hits you
between the eyes, you'll know it." Jimmy Fallon's impression
of GIlbert Gottfried was dead-on. **Random Fact:
Jimmy does an excellent Gilbert Gottfried, along with Sandler
and others, on his CD the Bathroom Wall. I suggest you get it.
It deserved the Grammy (Kate's random opinion)** 8/10
Weekend Update: Tina set this up to be a good Weekend
Update after the first joke. "Kevin Bacon" and "Footloose
sequel" in the same sentence, that has to be a sign of the
apocalypse. Horatio did a great Mohammed, "I look like a
Mario Brother had sex with a Brillo pad!" "You look
like a reject from 'My Big Fat Greek Wedding!'" Good Update, we
don't think Chris Parnell was necessary. 8/10
Miss Dynamite: You know you're in trouble when your
first (and only song) is about your own name. It was like Rico
Suave all over again, but without the gold earring.
The Ham Sketch: Only good part was Forte's song and
Parnell's walk-on. Although Tracy in drag is always interesting...and
Kattan with a tennis racket, the new Kournikova, because if you
noticed the raquet wasnt coming into contact with anything. 4/10
X-Presidents: No only do we have Dubya as a president,
but because of Smigel we have an all-too-accurate picture of
how he came to be. Good idea, less than great interpretation.
And Sponge Bob as the moral voice of a generation? Thats just
A&E Profiles in Jazz: We can all appreciate a good sexual
innuendo, but the sketch kind of lost the humor after the twentieth
one. Not altogether bad, and Deans appearance ups the rating.
Walgreens: Ahh, good old Deux ex Machina. But not
a goos sketch. Very fitting to a post 12:30 sketch. "Where
is it located?" "In the vaginal area." If Walgreens
was running these Ads, I'd go to CVS anyway. Good to see Armisen.
Mr. Rogers Tribute: There is nothing to review, this was
well done and reminded all of the viewers why SNL is such a great
show. Fred Rogers was a great man, and he deserved this and much
Post Show Thoughts:
Andie: Great beginning and great ending. Dipped in the
middle as is typical, but still a great episode.
Kate: I think some of the best performances of the night
we're by people who we rarely see. Like Dean, Seth and Jeff.
Email any comments and questions
to both of us: <mailto:email@example.com>firstname.lastname@example.org
Andie at <mailto:Ataris1130@yahoo.com>Ataris1130@yahoo.com
or Kate at <mailto:email@example.com>firstname.lastname@example.org.
Next week, Salma Hayek and Christina
Aguilera, at least SNL saving money on clothing.