Gore / Phish
December 14, 2002
Correction: Last week, in my "B-day Wrap-up"
I said that almost all my friends were out fulfilling prior obligations,
but I failed to mention that my friend Allie did show up. Allie
read the review and was rather upset, so here ya go Allie, thanks
for coming to my awesome par-tay!
It's been a busy week, I'm in
a production of "The Velveteen Rabbit" (I play the
skin horse) and we preformed 3 nights this week, so I haven't
really had time to notice anything really hilarious for my "Funniest
Thing That Happened This Week" segment, it'll be back after
Ok, I've been waiting for this
review since I heard that Al Gore was hosting because I've written
a mock telephone conversation between Al Gore and Lorne Michaels
that explains how Al got the hosting gig. Just read the convo
in your head (or out loud) using the voices of Lorne and Darrel
doing the voice of Al Gore. (It works better than the actual
Al Gore voice) Here we go:
(Phone rings, Lorne answers)
Al: Hi Lorne, this is Al Gore,
former Vice President of the United States and future PresidI
mean former Presidential candidate.
Lorne: Hi Al, what's up?
Al: Well Lorne, as you know,
I've had a lot of time on my hands lately. You may have noticed
that I even grew a beard
Lorne: Yes, I saw that, it's
kind of creepy actually.
Al: Ya, I shaved it. Anyway,
I've been watching SNL a lot since the election because I'm up
late most nights working on my plans to over throw George W.
Bush, and I was just thinkingwell, if it's not too much trouble
Lorne: What is it Al?
Al: I'd like to host the show
sometime this season.
Lorne: Well, uh umcould you hold
on a minute?
Lorne: (puts Al on hold, and
in a worried tone, summons the writers into his office) You
guys! I've got Al gore on the phone; he wants to host the show!
What do I tell him???
Writers: NOOOOO! We can't make
Al Gore funny!!! We got lucky with McCain! We can't take that
kind of risk again! Tell him no!
Lorne: Damn, this is gonna be
tricky. (Takes Al off hold) Hello, Al?
Al: Yes Lorne?
Lorne: Al, are you sure you'll
be able to handle this kind of pressure? I mean, it is
live TV. And millions of people tune in and expect it to be funny.
Al: Oh, yes Lorne, I know I can
do it. I'd work very very hard! In fact, I've even been working
on a few little ditties myself. I'd like to share them with you
sometime, maybe they could even make it on to the show!
Lorne: UhhhhOk, Al, I guess I'll
give you a shot, when do you want to do it?
Al: Oh, any week is fine with
me, I'm free any time you can fit me in.
Lorne: Ok, how does December
Al: Sure thing Lorne! I won't
let you down, I promise!
Tracy Morgan: (In the background)
Get me a soda bitch!
Al: Is everything ok Lorne?
Lorne: Yes, everything's alright,
but I've got to go. See you December 14.
Al: Ok, bye, and thanks again
Lorne: (Hangs up and turns
to writers) I'm so sorry guys, I just couldn't say no! I'll
make it up to you, I promise!
Writers: (Disgusted) Ya,
whatever Lorne! I'm calling in sick that week.
Well, there you have it, my rendering
of how Al Gore got to host this week's show. It may not be entirely
accurate, but I'm guessing something along these lines happened.
CD of the Week: This is a new segment I'm starting.
Every week I will feature a CD or band that I think is awesome.
This week's CD is, funnily enough, is not a music CD at all:
"Monty Python's Instant Record Collection." This is
a collection of the best Monty Python sound clips/sketches/songs
from The Flying Circus and some of their movies. It includes
all of your favorite Monty Python clips like: The Dead Parrot,
Wink wink, nudge nudge say no more say no more!, Bring out Your
Dead, THE LUMBERJACK SONG! And many many more. If you're a fan
of Monty Python, do yourself a favor and buy this CD, it will
change your life! (no guarantees though)
And now, for something completely
Pre-Show Thoughts: I've just read the sketch spoilers for
tonight's show, and I'm sooooo excited!!! Hardball, Jarret's
Room, and...wait for itDaily affirmation with Stuart Smalley!!!
One of the greatest sketches ever!!! I think tonight will be
the best show of the season despite the fact that Al Gore is
hosting. I might even skip the cast party to get home in time
to watch the whole show live.
Cold Opening-Old People Making
Out: Al Gore is such
a good sport. This was so hilarious, although at times it got
hard to watch. Jimmy and Lorne were great, just standing there
looking uncomfortable. But, WAS JIMMY SERIOUS??? Is he really
leaving the show??? Hmm, that's troubling to me. But I'll not
dwell on it. This was a great opening. Tracy Morgan coming in
with the tazer gun was sooooo funny. I loved when Lorne said
"We think you may be suffocating her Al." 9.5/10
Monologue: Al did a nice job of being loose; I
thought he gave off a good vibe. The Bachelor parody was freaking
awesome. Actually it was more of a parody of the political process
I think, whatever it was, it was funny. Parnell did a great impression
of Lieberman, and Seth Meyers looked a lot like Kerry (I've seen
them make fun of him on the Daily Show) Anyway, the whole thing
was just brilliant I thought. The hot tub scene was priceless.
"metaphorical lockbox!" Good stuff. 9/10
Hardball: The opening comments were priceless.
"The Bush team has fewer original members than Destiny's
Child." Gore as Trent Lott was brilliant and very ballsy.
Al actually did a decent impression too. Amy as the Democratic
strategist was also awesome. I feel like reviewing Hardball gets
kind of redundant. It's always top notch. I absolutely love how
Darrel gets that excited look in his eyes when the crazy people
come on, like Al Sharpton. Tracy did a nice job with it, the
made up words were great. Some of the best quotes were- "Some
if not all of my friends are white," "Senator, you're
shedding a lot of light on the situation, unfortunately, it's
coming from the cross you just set on fire," "Al Sharpton,
one of Hardball's most dependable lunatics!" This was sooo
great. The best political humor I've seen in a long time.
Fiesta Politica: I saw the set in the commercial bumper,
and I started to freak out. I LOVE this sketch! Even though it's
only been done once before (Gwyneth Paltro episode) I still think
about it. I'm sooo happy they brought this back. It's so absurd
and hilarious. Anyone who watches Telemundo on even a semi-regular
basis can appreciate it. Maya is awesome in this, but there is
no doubt that Horatio is the best thing in this sketch. Al Gore
did a great job of keeping a strait face. Fred's character is
a nice addition, reminds me sooo much of this one guy on Telemundo.
And, let's not forget GARY!!! OOOOO GARY! Ha, I love it so much.
Tracy Morgan is so funny in his little outfit, and I the dog's
hair was awesome. The best part was probably when Al Gore was
talking to Gary. This sketch reaches me on some kind of subconscious
level, I just love it. 10/10
Al Visits the "West Wing": This was incredibly funny, and actually
Al Gore was probably the funniest thing in this. "Get me
Putin!" I loved when he gave John Spencer a line to say.
Not much to say really, it's cool that they got the cast of the
"West Wing" to do this. It worked, it was really funny.
Jarret's Room: YES! I knew they were gonna do this!
Jarret and Goby had some good jokes at the beginning, I like
the one about Santa, "Asian guy, goatee, had a beeper."
Gore was good as the professor, the bit about Goby's term paper
was great. And, Phish made an appearance! Al Gore, Phish, and
Jarret's room. Is this the apocalypse? Ha, that guy does look
like Chuck Norris. This was probably the best Jarret's room ever.
I like Jonathan's new look. 9.5/10
Weekend Update: For the first time in a long while,
WU was probably one of the weakest parts of the show. It's not
necessarily because it was bad this week, just that everything
else was so good. And, lately, WU has been in a slump. There
were some pretty good jokes though. The running Strom Thurman
joke was good. I liked the subway joke too. The Bunny Ranch girls
were really funny. I liked how they thought Jimmy was a virgin,
and also, Rachel's name was "Vidalis." You can tell
that Tina wrote this, it was pretty good. It makes me sad though,
that Jimmy doesn't throw the pencil anymore. I always thought
that was a cute trademark. This week was kind of a miss on WU,
but I have faith that it will recover. 8.5/10
Daily Affirmation With Stuart
Smalley: This is one
of my favorite sketches of all time. Al Franken is truly brilliant.
His opening remarks were awesome, this character cracks me up.
Al and Tipper were good. I had a feeling they would refer to
the election. That picture was funny, again, Al Gore is a great
sport. What else can I say, this is truly a great sketch, but
I think that the one where Michael Jordan came on was funnier.
Nevertheless, I was extremely happy to see this again. "Trace
it, face it, and erase it!" "Shame spiral." Those
are great terms. 9/10
Willy Wonka: At first, I thought that they were going
to do the same thing as last season's Willy Wonka parody, but
this one turned out to be MUCH better. It was so funny to think
about the financial aspect of the chocolate factory. Jeff Richards
really nailed the character, and Al Gore was really good. I loved
the way he said "oompah loompah" it sounded as if he'd
never seen the movie. Whoever wrote this has a truly great comic
mind. I never would have thought of something like this. I feel
bad for Chris Kattan though, he's been reduced to playing and
oompah loompah. I'd say he's "oompha loompah doompity screwed,"
just like the chocolate factory. This was probably the best non-political
sketch of the night. 9/10
Charlie Brown Christmas: Best Smigel cartoon ever!!!! When I
saw this in the sketch spoilers, I got a little worried because
I thought he was going to be making fun of the Charlie Brown
Christmas special, but it turned out he was really using Peanuts
as a tool to bring down everything that is so shitty about American
culture. And, for years I've always thought about the arm waving
thing, so I thought that was so funny. Well, I won't bore you
with a comment about every little joke, they were all great,
this cartoon really connected with me. 9.5/10
Let's Get Drunk on Christmas
Eve: Ahh yes, another
Morgan/Rudolph banter sketch. I actually really like these, but
this one wasn't that great. The one from the Nia Vardalos episode
was better. The song was kind of entertaining, but it got kind
of boring. But, I did like how at the end, they ended up just
ordering wine. 6.5/10
Christmas Song: My absolute favorite thing about the
holiday episodes. I love this so so much. It's just quirky, weird,
and funny. I also like how every time they do it, they change
themes. This year, it was Christmas gifts. Jimmy as Harry Potter
was great. And, just an interesting side note, I have that EXACT
same keyboard. Kinda weird huh? I love it when Jimmy starts hitting
the sound effect buttons. 9/10
This show scored: 108.5/120
Post-Show Thoughts: This was by far, the best show of the
season. There was a great energy, and the crowd was really into
it. Al Gore really got into it too. SOOO much better than I expected
it to be. Phish was awesome!! They're my favorite MG so far.
I'm so happy this was a great episode. The only low points of
the episode were when Jimmy said that he wouldn't be coming back
(I'm still not sure if he's serious) and WU. It distresses me,
because in the past WU has been the crown jewel of the show.
Perhaps if Jimmy really does leave, Seth will take over. I wouldn't
mind that. O well, I can't complain anymore, this episode was
There's no "What I'd like
to see next week," this week because I don't know who the
next host will be. But, I'm really looking forward to the Christmas
If you'd like to send me death
threats, love letters, or if you've just got a question or comment,
you can email me at <mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org>email@example.com
That's all for this week, until
next time, this is Kate saying, "Goodnight, and have a pleasant