Jeff Gordon / Avril Lavigne
January 11, 2003

By Sinie Conley

Pre-Show Thoughts:

Hate Nascar, hate Avril with a passion. I*ve had a really bad day. I have a feeling this won*t exactly be the best episode of the season. It*ll be ok, though. I*ll just ignore all sketches that include someone that is not in the cast. :)

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Cold Open: Kim Jong Il

Did I spell that right? Hope so. This was pretty good. I try not to keep up with the news anymore. It just depresses me. I watch FOX News when I wanna know what*s going on. The Fox Report is great. :)

Grade: B+
Best Line: "I was a chronic bed wetter."

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Monologue: Jeff Gordon

This was a little lame. Parnell was in it, though. :) I like how they pretend to be Nascar fans. I wouldn*t even pretend. haha Hate it. Don*t see the point...wow...fast cars, people crashing. Being from Mississippi, I see a lot of Nascar fans.

Grade: B+
Best Line: "Who needs a GED, right?"

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Joe Hetero

I like Joe Millionaire. He*s hot. haha This wasn*t long enough to be that funny, though.

Grade: A
Best Line: "Joe is stone cold gay."

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Brian Fellows Safari Planet

YES!!!!! I feel the same way about snakes. Brian Fellows...somebody more airheaded than I. Woo hoo. Making fun of Tiger Woods and Bill O'Reilley in one sketch. Bill*s gonna love that. No seriously. He has a pretty cool sense of humor. He*s never complained before when SNL made fun of him.

Grade: A+
Best Line: "First you tell me he black, then you tell me he Chinese. What is he now, Tiger Woods?"

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Access Hollywood

Gotta love Maya. She can really sing. And Diana Ross...really is like that when she*s drunk. I liked it when they grabbed her wig...read it its rights...wow. I don*t like Diana Ross. I think she*s a wench. She*s just...a little cruel. I mean, one of her best friends got on welfare and she couldn*t even help her out? Really now.

Grade: A-
Best Line: "I think I just threw up a little in my mouth!"

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Joe Caucasian

This one...crazy.

Grade: A
Best Line: "I*m gonna get all these white girls pregnant."

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Career Day

Shain*s going into the Air Force. Leaving on February 25. Not fair. He won*t be back in time for the Pepsi Tournament. :( A whole weekend he*s gonna miss because of training. That sucks. This sketch was funny though. I*d rather have a dad in the Air Force than one who sold carpet. My mom works at Horseshoe, but she used to be in the Army. So was Uncle David. Granddaddy and Uncle Stanley were in the Navy. Thursday was Granddaddy*s 50th anniversary. :)

Grade: A+
Best Line: "PJ, that is no way to talk to your father!"

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1.18.02 Ray Liotta/The Donnas

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Star Dates

Lots of spoofs of real life shows today...wow. How could she not know who Gary Busey is??? He*s the best, man! I loved the way he did Buddy Holly. I have that movie. haha I*m a dork. Not really, but you know what I mean.

Grade: A
Best Line: "All their fingers lit up except their E.T. finger."

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Joe Not-a-Rapist

Another one...

Grade: A
Best Line: "Joe IS a convicted rapist!"

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Musical Guest:

Avril Lavigne

Don*t even get me started. I hate this girl. Total waste of time. They could have extended Update or something.

Grade: F
Best Line: No line. It*s a song.

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Weekend Update

It*s been so long...I miss Jimmy. :) No messy head tonight? What the frick? A GRAMMY!!! Sinie*s watching Grammy Night. :) Can I vote for that? I want Jimmy to win. I bought the CD the day it came out. LoL I made Summer and Stephanie buy it too. haha I sang "Idiot Boyfriend" so much they bought it. For some reason, it*s weird for me to review Update...maybe cause of all the jokes. Oh well. I love Update. :) Ooh la la. Gay Hitler. Gay Hollywood Hitler nonetheless.

Grade: A+
Best Line: "Who*s the smart one, now, Tina?"

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Gary's Fish Tanks

This uh...sucked. It had it*s funny parts, but not exactly the best. I wouldn*t recommend they bring this sketch back. Way to go on the Grammy nomination, Jimmy! See, Maggie, my listening to Idiot Boyfriend constantly was worth something! ha!

Grade: C
Best Line: "I*m kinda tapped out."

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Charlie Rose

Who the freak is Charlie Rose? I don*t watch it. LoL I have seen minimal Jeff Gordon tonight. Thank God. Why isn*t Darrell in any sketches anymore? This is the first time I*ve seen him tonight. Is he gonna leave the show after this season? Please don*t.

Grade: C+
Best Line: "I think you*re talking about the Hamburgler."

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Joe Dude

How did I know they would do this one?

Grade: A
Best Line: "I wish I could pick all of you. Damn."

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Musical Guest:

Avril Lavigne

No.

Grade: F
Best Line: No line. It*s a song.

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Some Parnell Sketch (didn*t catch the dude*s name)

What was this? Were they out of good sketches tonight? Just kidding. Parnell is great. He*s no Will Ferrell, though. Wonder who wrote that one? No offense to whoever did it, I probably couldn*t do any better. haha

Grade: C
Best Line: "Fat Boy Not-so-slim here sits at home watching Dirty Dancing with his hands down his PJs."

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The Stripper Pole

This was great. haha I know a couple of my friends who would love one of those. Ooh. Jessica*s got a birthday coming up...I could buy a big pole and install it in her bedroom so she can dance. LoL Kidding. Love ya Jesa. haha I wonder if people would actually buy one of those. Most likely. haha

Grade: A
Best Line: "There*s no party without the pole!"

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Overall grade: B+
Overall stars: 3/5
Best line overall: "First you tell me he black, then you tell me he Chinese. What is he now, Tiger Woods?"

Post Show Thoughts:

If it hadn*t been for Avril, this would have been better. Anyway, about the show...it was great. Jimmy nominated for a Grammy...what could be greater? I know! Golf with a gator! ha. Yeah right. Anyway...see you next week!

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