Gordon / Avril Lavigne
January 11, 2003
Hey. My vacation wasn't anything
special but it was ok. At least I had almost 2 weeks away from
school and homework. Now onto the small stuff.
Yeah, apparently, I somehow make a mistake in every episode,
whether getting a title wrong or forgetting a few cast members
that I didn't catch. Well, since I'm not an obsessed fan of SNL
and tape the episodes, I'm gonna screw up somehow so go to the
vets of the whole review thing to get accurate info if I miss
something. I just like doing this because I like the show and
I like to show my opinions.
Like I said, I didn't do too much but I went to my first football
gamethe Patriots vs. the Dolphins. Now, I hate every Massachusetts
team but I'm not a Dolphins fan either so I was neutral although
I wanted the Dolphins to win. Unfortunately, I came to the game
unprepared. We had the blankets, but I forgot my gloves and I
wasn't wearing any thick socks. It was a nice game except the
cold and the fans constantly standing up and blocking our way
when they went to get beers or go to the bathroom. Unfortunately,
we left in the middle of the 4th quarter, right before the good
stuff happened. The Dolphins were winning 24-14 (or something
like that), and we left because we were cold and my feet were
starting to swell up and get numb. On the way back to the car,
I heard the crowd scream in excitement. What I missed was a touchdown,
a field goal to tie the game and then the Pats winning in OT.
It all ended well when the Jets won their game and eliminated
the Pats from the playoffs. So overall, it was a nice day.
Ok, a lot to talk about. First off, Bordick signed with the Blue
Jays. Although I still consider him an O, I'm happy he remained
in the AL, especially in the East. That way I can see him whenever
he plays the Red Sox. Secondly, the O's signed Deivi Cruz in
his place. Considering with what shortstops were on the market,
I think they made a wise move. I've never known him to be an
offensive power, but I think he's pretty good in the defense
area so they'll be all right. Also, they signed Omar Daal, a
fantastic move. They needed a mix badly in the pen, as they hadn't
had a southpaw since Jimmy Key. With moves like these, they can
be contenders this year. Maybe they can sign Pudge before it's
too late and goes off to Japan. And lastly, Eddie Murray got
into the Hall of Fame. Not much of a surprise, but my dad told
me that if Eddie got in, we'd go to Cooperstown to see him get
inducted. I guess I now have something to do over the summer.
Yet again, another sports star. Athletes haven't done really
well in the past years and with the sub par performance by Johnny
Moseley last year, things don't look too good. Nevertheless,
my hopes are still high and I'm praying that the second season
will be better than the first. As for the musical guest, I absolutely
hate Avril Lavigne. First of all, what's with the damn tie?!
Is it supposed to be some kind of statement? Secondly, I heard
she can't sing for crap live so expect lip-synching the whole
time or prepare to cover your ears. And lastly, whoever thinks
her songs are Punk, you must be delirious. I have heard a lot
of Pop songs to know which are and which aren't, and her songs
are Pop songs, although it's a bit harder than regular Pop. Anyway,
I'm just hoping for the best and I'll try to survive through
the whole episode.
OLD OPENING: Kim Jong Il Speech (People Involved:
I knew this would happen sometime. Either a sketch with the Koreans
or a speech by the leader. Now I'm not really sure if he actually
is crazy because they pulled out of the pact, but they said they're
not making any nuclear weapons to harm anyone. Pure cheese if
I have to say anything about it. Anyway, Horatio did pretty well
although everyone was focused on Maya's voice. Why did he cut
into the DVD review of Sweet Home Alabama? I have no idea. Overall,
an ok opening.
MONOLOGUE: (Members Involved:
Gordon, Rachel, Chris. P)
Haven't seen a monologue where the audience (or rather the cast
members) but in for a while. Chris and Rachel were pretty good
pretenders at racing fans although slightly delusional. I find
it impossible that they had to wait 4 years to get SNL tickets
though. Nevertheless, they tried to make a switch from people
who read the New York Times to NASCAR fans. Done before, but
Commercial: Joe Hetero (Members Involved:
I don't know if Parnell did the voiceover so I just left him
out. I was hoping they would do a sketch instead of a commercial,
but this was fine anyway, altering his secret identity. As a
female fan, I think that Seth is the cutest guy on SNL, not Jimmy.
Why I say this now, I have no idea. I just think he's the perfect
choice for a Joe Millionaire. Good commercial, not just because
of Seth, mind you.
Sketch 1: Brian Fellows' Safari Planet (Members Involved:
Tracy, Gordon, Horatio)
I'm sure the first thing reviewers thought to themselves when
they saw this was "not again". It sure was my reaction.
It never did well in the front spot until now. It just had the
good chemistry that it hasn't had in past sketches. And somehow,
he manages to show some brief moments of intelligence without
even realizing it. Priceless. And for the first time, he admits
that he didn't know what he was talking about to Horatio. Was
I pleased with this sketch? You bet your ass I was and no, I'm
not going crazy.
Sketch 2: Access Hollywood (Members Involved: Jimmy,
Maya, Seth, Chris P.)
I think I've heard Pat O'Brien speak once or twice and that is
a decent impression. Anyway, this sketch is mainly on the focus
of how drunken Diana Ross can actually be. Apparently, she's
still a diva even when she's drunk so that has to tell you something,
or confirm it for that matter. Did it surprise me that she wears
a wig? Not really. I mean, that hair is too old. Kinda reminds
me of Shaka Khan's hair (I have the episode in which she was
the musical guest).
Commercial: Joe Caucasian (Members Involved: Tracy)
I really shouldn't have been surprised to see another one of
these. Not as funny as the first one but it still gets the same
grade because the women are stupid enough to think that he's
white, not black.
Sketch 3: Career Day (Members Involved: Amy, Gordon,
Come on, who do you really think is going to outshine the other,
a carpet salesman or a fighter pilot? This whole sketch was kinda
pointless and the awkwardness reached a new level but I still
found it somewhat amusing.
Sketch 4: Star Dates (Members Involved: Dean, Rachel,
Like I said before, I knew this had to come around sometime.
Ok, who is Gary Buse? (Sue me if I don't know how to spell his
last name). Throughout the shows, Jeff is good on many levels,
but especially convincing as a low life, although I'm not sure
if that's a good thing. And did anyone notice that his voice
sounded a bit like Beetlejuice? Just freaky. I know I'm going
off topic a bit too much but expect that. In the end, it kinda
sucked, although I have no idea why she would want to go out
with him again. And if you want a cast member that can do physical
pain, use Parnell or Seth instead. Jeff was ok, but his movements
Commercial: Joe Not-A-Rapist (Members Involved:
Ok, 3 times is enough but Parnell is convincing as the look of
Musical Guest: Avril Lavigne
She actually sounds ok, but it's not one of her spunky tunes
Weekend Update with Jimmy Fallon and Tina Fey (Members
Involved: Jimmy, Tina, Chris K., Amy, Rachel, Forte, Chris.
- I'm only doing the bullets just this once because I know I'm
going to skip from point to point awkwardly
- You know, Clonaid is just cheap. It's all a damn publicity
stunt and whoever thinks that they actually cloned a baby is
- Amy looks just like that woman though and Kattan actually did
a good job for once
- Probably what the baby looks like since we haven't seen it
before *gives a thumb's up to Rachel*
- I didn't know Tina and Jimmy had that kind of an emotional
-Despite what every Jimmy fan says, I'm almost positive he's
not going to win. I mean, he's up against Robin Williams and
George Carlin for crying out loud! Slim chance to none he's going
to get one
-He wants that revenge bad, but it just backfires badly
-And an unnecessary appearance by Hollywood as Gay Hitler
-A long update with few news jokes. Not really a bad thing, but
not a great thing as well
-What the heck was with Parnell in that getup serving Jimmy at
the end? An explanation would be great
Sketch 5: Gary's Fish Tank Warning (Members Involved:
Gordon, Amy, Horatio, Seth, Maya, Jimmy, Fred, Forte)
In the beginning, I thought it was just a sketch about 2 stupid
aquarium repairmen, but it ends up as a service warning by another
fish tank companywft? Jimmy and Horatio were annoying as the
2 repairmen, but their voices reminded me of Joe Pesci and Regis
Cut scene and know they're talking to a psychologist, which was
surprisingly played by Armisen. The first time I've ever seen
him play a normal character. And then the writers screw this
up by making him go crazy. I hate the writers right now.
GRADE: C-, pointless sketch
Sketch 6: Charlie Rose (Members involved: Jeff,
And Darrell is actually alive. I'm sorry to say this, but I think
he should just leave the show. Nothing's going on for him and
he's going to end up being outshined by Dean or someone else.
I mean, Dean appeared more times overall. A sad thing if you
Anyway, back to the sketch. I asked my mom if Charlie Rose usually
acted like that and she said a little. I have to remember that
they over exaggerate their characters most of the time. An ok
sketch, but I want an O'Reilly Factor more.
Commercial: Joe Dude (Members Involved: Tina)
Hmm, an appearance by Tina but it sucked. Quit while you're ahead
writers. 2 commercials with the same premise should be the limit.
Think back to the NRA commercials.
Musical Guest: Avril Lavigne
The song is Complicated, but her singing ability is also (if
this doesn't make sense to anyone, sorry about that)
Sketch 7: Terrye Funk Hour (Members Involved: Chris
I honestly think the writers were drunk when they came up with
this piece of crap. A DeMarco's sketch sounds a lot better than
this. This is like a warped version of Daily Affirmations and
the hands down the pants part was just a bit too much. The only
plus to this was good acting by Gordon. Probably the only guy
who looks good in a mullet, besides Puck from the Real World.
Sketch 8/Commercial: Stripper Pole (Members Involved:
Seth, Chris P., Tracy, Dean, Forte, Amy, Rachel)
Lame and pointless. That's what most of the sketches were like
OVERALL GRADE: C-. It's not that Gordon did a bad job,
it's just that the writers blew it big tonight. I was actually
very surprised and pleased by Jeff's performance. I mean, you
could only do worse than Johnny Moseley and Jeff did a hell of
a lot better. Kudos to him.
Best of the Night: I'm giving this to Seth, Chris P. and
Tracy because they performed consistently well in everything
they did and I was happy with most of the sketches they were
in, except for The Terrye Funk Hour.
Worst of the Night: You know, I could give this to the
people who were only in one sketch, but I'm giving the honors
to the writers. Congratulations writers, you have now sunk to
a new low.
Next Week: It's Ray Liotta and The Donnas. I was hoping
for John Mayer but no such luck this week. Lets just pray for
a better show next week.
Cya next week people. This is Link and I'm signing out