Gordon / Avril Lavigne
January 11, 2003
As a huge BeeGees fan who is
listening to the Saturday Night Fever soundtrack as I type this-
I'd just like to send my condolences on the death on Maurice
Gibb. The Bee Gees were a great band and pretty much made an
overrated John Travolta movie famous and also provided for a
great joke in Wayne's World while at the same making great movie.
It's a shame he's not stayin' alive.
The pre-review stuff kinda goes
a little long this week so feel free to scroll down and read
my thoughts on the actual episode.
Maple Leafs- I saw them play Tuesday against Boston
and it was a good game. They got behind early but soon rallied
to take the lead and win the game. They lost to Boston tonight
but have been playing great recently- particularly Eddie Belfour.
Oh yea- and unlike the other team from Ontario- They have their
finances in check.
Devils- Devils have basically been playing defensive hockey
all year and running neck and neck with the Flyers for first
place in the Atlantic Division.
Canucks- They've recently hit the skids with a losing
streak but hopefully will shrug it off and return to dominating
the Northeast Division, especially with the tough competition
Nets- Aside from a night off against the Kings they have
been playing amazing basketball. I saw them against Cleveland
and Toronto recently and they played good solid basketball. The
Nets are not one of those teams that feels they have to have
some sort of thug image or have some guy go out and carry the
team- they just win. And K-Mart has made sure of that.
Chad Ruffner writes-
Much like Smackdown! from this
Thursday, this was not a good way to start 2003. The
only thing I remotely liked about this show was the
Y2J/HBK/Randy Orton promo/confrontation. Everything
else ran the bad to horrible range, Including that
ultra gay and excessively long "Posedown" between HHH
and Steiner. At least they have kept these 2 from
locking up , or facing each other In a meaningless
Main Event Tag Match. Still it was a horrible
segment. Second place Is the decision to have Booker
T and Goldust (The most over act on The Raw Brand has)
drop The Tag Titles to The Not Over Team of
Regal/Storm. Yeah, good move there. HHH must've felt
threatened that someone was stealing his spotlight
again. I assume that Vince McMahon appearing on Raw
next week will be some sort of reset start for Raw
again. In the past I would've panned such a move (IF
that Is the case), but every single restart they have
had over the past month hasn't worked, so what have
they got to lose? What did you think of the show?
I now recap RAW for www.smarktalk.com
so well if you ever want to know my thoughts on the show- head
on over there.
Liz Butler writes-
Have you ever seen the show Sigourney
Weaver hosted in
'86? There was this sketch called "Alienses" that
cracked me up. Phil Hartman plays Hicks and I wanna
say Dana Carvey plays Hudson, but it's been years
since I've seen it. Any suggestions of where I can
find a copy?
I have seen the show but I don't
remember the particular skit. If anyone here sells old SNL's-
drop me a line and I'll plug your site.
Chad Ruffner writes-
I just want to get your thoughts
about the news that Vince McMahon has admitted he Is
basically out of Ideas as to what the fans want, and
Is considering giving full Creative Control of The Raw
Brand to Eric Bishoff? Me, I'm split so far. It Is
good to hear that Vince McMahon has finally admitted
what we as fans know all along, that he doesn't know
what we want to see. However, I don't think putting
Bishoff In charge Is going to be the answer. I hate
to beat a dead horseshould'vece should've stuck to his
guns from this past June and put Vince Russo In charge
of The Raw Brand. Maybe he would've had some new
Ideas, maybe he wouldn't have. Bishoff's only talent
while In WCBillionare'sfree reign to a Billionare's
Checkbook, and using It to bring In talentless stiffs
like Ultimate Warrior and SIntegrals. Then again, he
was Originalral to The conearly of The Orinal NWO, and
The arly success of Nitro. The Bottom Line Is The WWE
can't afford another year like 2003. Changes must be
Happy New Year,
Bischoff did put wrestling on
his show which is a good thing. The best way to fix RAW would
be to tape it and to fire Gerwitz. A taped RAW would give the
wrestlers more freedom and allow for longer matches. Long term
planning is the answer. Not putting the title on HBK to get a
pop at MSG and then putting it on Triple H one month later. Russo
is not the answer- a taped Raw and long term planning is.
Loved your Al Gore Review. Hope
you have a great Christmas and a happy new year.
If you're Jewish, then Happy late Chanukah, or if you're Chinese
happy 1rst of January.
Thank you. Santa, Hannukah Harry
and Kwanzaa Dean all made sure I had a nice holiday season.
Alejandro Tamargo writes-
Hey Man. I'm a Phish phan, and
the only explanation I can give you as
why so many of us like these dorks is, you either get it or you
Phans are just like Trekkies. Either you're obsessive about it,
there and wonder "Why the hell are all these freaks so obsessive
this?" There's nothing else I can say. Funny episode though.
it was the funniest in years.
Thanks for clearing it up. I
thought Phish was a pretty good band and all but I just didn't
understand how that would translate into massive and loyal phanbase.
I guess I just didn't get it.
Kate (I guess her parents are
Prince and Jewel) writes-
My name is Kate Richardson (I also write reviews) I read your
reviews often and enjoy them. I was just reading Nick Mayhew's
and he mentioned that you talked to Tina Fey at 1 pm. Was he
serious? If he's just kidding, then I feel kind of stupid for
asking, but if he's serious, then whoa! I'm the biggest Tina
Fey fan! Well, It'd be great if you could clear this up for me.
And, keep up the good work on your reviews, they're really great!
Yes, on Friday December 13th I did meet Tina Fey and did talk
to her about WU. When I lived in NY I hung around 30 Rock a lot
and I don't mean to brag but I got to meet all the cast members
and stuff. Thanks for the kind words but I must clarify- I am
the biggest Tina Fey fan.
Timothy Gubbels writes-
I would like to buy a VHS copy
of the latest Gore-hosted SNL show.
Once again- I DO NOT tape episodes
of SNL and therefore have none to sell.
Wanna be in the mailbag?????
Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
THE STORY OF BOB BARRON: ILLEGAL
Now this story may shock you
a bit because I think I pride myself and the reader prides him
or herself in knowing that I am a good upstanding person. In
fact all proceeds from writing this review go straight to charity.
Now as many of you know- I am
studying in Canada while being an American citizen at the same
time. Now many of you will say: Who cares? Canada is just the
51st state to begin with.
Well apparently Canada doesn't
acknowledge its well known statehoodism and made me get a student
visa and all that to study in their country. So I assume all
this is complete and go up to Canada for a semester of studying,
sex and drunken keg parties!!! Well replace that with buying
DVDs, going to hockey games and the only time being drunk was
in the middle of a class and you've got my semester. Anywho-
I go home to the 11th state- New York and soon I went back ready
to begin another semester of hockey games, dvds and getting drunk
at the most inappropriate times.
And then while walking through
the airport I get stopped in customs. Now either I accidentally
wore a turban on my head or Dean Edwards and Rachel Dratch got
ahold of my bag. So I go into this room praying that some hot
chick is gonna give me a cavity search if there was one needed.
It turned out- none was needed as I was sent to this dude and
I showed him all my ID and all that stuff while trying not to
make a joke that could get me arrested.
So then the guy searches my name
through the computer and he says words that every guy named Manuel
or Juan dreads to hear:
Sir- did you know that you were
in the country illegally?
So then he explains to me while
I try not to laugh my ass off that my parents forgot to pick
up the correct forms and I was never officially allowed into
the country of Canada. So for the past four months I was living
and studying in Canada illegally. I mean what if I had anthrax
or something??? Now for my readers who are shocked by my illegality
status- don't worry- I am now officially allowed in Canada.
Canadians- got a great border
patrol up there eh?
And now the actual review-
Cast- Horatio Sanz
Thoughts- What's with Horatio playing evil dictators with anti-American
stances? I hope he's not being typecasted. This was a pretty
weak way to open the show. I've been kind of out of the loop
recently so I didn't really understand Sanz's spoofing of this
guy. This was pretty much a hit and miss affair with some funny
stuff (The Sweet Home Alabama joke) and some unfunny stuff (a
lot of the jokes). I don't mind hit and miss skits at the end
of the show but they are not good ways to open the show. **
Cast- Jeff Gordon, Rachel Dratch, Chris Parnell
Thoughts- Well since Jeff "Mr. Personality" Gordon
is the host I guess I shouldn't be complaining too much about
this being not an actual monologue. I was actually shocked at
the fact that I enjoyed Rachel Dratch in a skit. Her burn on
Jeff Gordon was delicious and as someone who wishes Rusty Wallace
a nice car crash into a wall (for reasons I don't want go get
into) I enjoyed her insult from him. Other then that the skit
blew those were the high points. **1/4
Cast- Amy Poehler, Seth Meyers
Thoughts- This was a pretty funny commercial parody that I hoped
would actually turn out to be an actual skit but alas- it was
still very funny. ***1/2
Brian Fellows Safari Planet
Cast- Gordon, Tracy Morgan, Horatio Sanz
Thoughts- After seeing this idiot on my screen- I was hoping
that Joe Millionaire stuff was a skit. Brian Fellows is a dead
character and has been for a pretty long time now. The crowd
reacts to 'I'm Brian Fellows' and (insert animal here) is crazy
but during the rest of the skit they just there going: Wow- the
acoustics in Studio 8H sure are great. I did mark out hardcore
for the mention of Bill O'Reilly and the O'Reilly Factor and
whomever wrote this skit deserves a gold star. But since I am
not able to give out gold stars so I think giving a skit that
deserved a DUD a *1/2 rating is nice enough. *1/2
Cast- Jimmy Fallon, Chris Parnell, Maya Rudolph, Meyers
Thoughts- What the fuck was this shit? I mean Maya's Diana Ross
impression was pretty bad as was Fallon's Pat O'Brien impression.
Everyone said have Jimmy do impressions and he'll be peachy keen.
Well he did an impression and it sucked. He's useless. DUD
Thoughts- Another good parody. ***
Cast- Gordon, Poehler, Meyers
Thoughts- Wow- I wonder if Seth Meyers will wake up one day and
go: I'm tired of carrying skits. Let those losers wallow in their
ultimate suckiness. Seth, as usual, completely carried this skit
per his usual Seth Meyers awesomeness while the rest was Satan
the race car driver. **1/4
Cast- Gordon, Dratch, Dean Edwards, Jeff Richards
Thoughts- The skit had a pretty weak plot but Richards' Gary
Busey was fantastic and helped make the skit into the good territory.
Cast- Parnell, Rudolph, Dratch
Thoughts- Damn- these skits are saving the show and depending
on whatever the average skit is- well it owes the Joe stuff.
Thoughts- I love Avril Lavigne. There. I said it. I love Avril
Lavigne. You can give me all that she's not punk, she's fake,
she's like Britney and Christina- WHO GIVES A CRAP???????? IT'S
THE MUSIC THAT MATTERS!!!!! You can tell me you don't like Avril
because you don't enjoy her music and I'll say okay- that's cool.
But if you don't like other because of other intangibles well
that is definitely not damn skippy hippy. I love every song on
her album and am glad she released I'm With You after Sk8er Boi
so she could show everyone she had a serious side. Anyway- it
may not be a Naked or a Losing Grip but I love Avril and I love
this song and I especially loved this performance. Avril totally
made the show with this one. ****
Cast- Tina Fey, Fallon, Chris Kattan, Poehler, Dratch, Will Forte
Thoughts- Because if there's one thing Weekend Update needed-
it was MORE Jimmy Fallon. The fact that Jimmy Fallon actually
got a Grammy nomination shows how seriously the Grammys should
be taken. Idiot Boyfriend is a waste of good recording tape that
maybe could've been used to finish Norm's long awaited comedy
album. Or maybe they could put Dratch and Fey on CD. Anything
but the wretched crap that is 'Idiot Boyfriend'. It is truly
idiotic. Anywho- the Cloneaid stuff was pretty funny as was the
mention to wrestling (the guy's name was Mike Sanders) and it
was cool seeing Forte on Update. Jimmy just brought this WU way
down but we've sadly grown accustomed to that. This is one of
those WUs that could've hit the 4s had we been greeted with some
Broken down Aquarium
Cast- Gordon, Sanz, Fallon, Poehler, Rudolph, Meyers, Armisen,
Thoughts- Is Lorne trying to turn me against Jimmy Fallon and
Horatio Sanz. I know all the stupid 12 year old girls watch this
and go: OMG JIMMY IS LAFFING ON SNL OMG LOL I LUV SNL. I'm glad
a 12 year old girl is finding pleasure from Jimmy rather then
some dude on the internet inviting her to some crazy ranch but
me- an 18 year old who witnessed the Canucks AND Maple Leafs
lose in the exact same night does need any more rage instilled
in him and Jimmy and Horatio's stupid little antics piss me off.
Sure you two fucking jackass are having your little fun cracking
each other up but you guys need to know something:
YOU ARE ON LIVE TELEVISION ACROSS
THE WORLD. ACT PROFESSIONAL.
There are people who would give
everything they owned to have the jobs that Jimmy and Horatio
do and to go out there and have such little respect for everything
just pisses a loyal viewer like me off. I like watching people
who go out there, have fun and are funny while doing it while
at the same time acting professional. Jimmy and Horatio must
have bad self esteem issues if the only way they think they can
get a rise out of an audience is by going out there and cracking
each other up. I was crazy happy when Molly left and if this
keeps up I will not shed a tear if you either of you get hit
by a bus because you're too busy thinking of ways to crack up
on the air. DUD
Cast- Darrell Hammond, Richards
Thoughts- About the laughing thing- I ragged on Darrell for doing
it in the Barrymore episode but except for the whole stint in
rehab, the general wackiness and a rumoured heart attack- you
can always count on Darrell Hammond. This is one of those skits
that seemed like it could've gone somewhere and was kinda funny
with the mixups of Rumsfeld and Cheney but it seemed like it
got cut off at the knees. **
Cast- Fey, Poehler, Dratch
Thoughts- As a Feynatic- this kind of creeped me out a bit and
made me question whether there were homosexual overtones in the
three hugs I got from her. Aside from the questioning of my sexuality
involving hugs with Tina Fey- wait a minute- I can't be gay-
I don't even like Maya Rudolph! Anywho- I found this- like all
the other Joe skits to be rocking. ***
Thoughts- May 13th can't come soon enough. Cause that is when
for the second time I will have the privilege and honour of seeing
Avril Lavigne in concert at the Nassau Coliseum. I mean yea I
know the Nassau Coliseum is like infested with all the other
diseases Long Island has but it's AVRIL!~. I think seeing Avril
is worth getting cholera and dyssentary. I LOVE the live version
of Complicated. It is like 10 million times better then the album
version which is not to shabby. Basically- this was the best
musical performance since Paul Simon singing the Boxer on SNL.
Great great stuff and I wish the whole show had just been one
big Avril concert. Hey- it beats Jimmy and Horatio. ****1/4
Cast- Gordon, Parnell.
Thoughts-Well the guys name was Terry Funk so I guess they were
trying to appeal to the hick fans who watch NASCAR by having
three references to wrestling on the show. I'm sure people who
were in the middle of nailing their sister loved this skit but
as an only child I was not amused. _* for Terry Funk
Cast- Morgan, Parnell, Poehler, Dratch, Edwards, Forte, Meyers,
Thoughts- At least Dean FINALLY got some skit time. As a Dean-a-holic
and Dean-a-maniac I was getting worried he never made it straight
outta Compton. This was typical last skit fodder and the thought
of seeing Rachel Dratch near a stripper's pole was pretty gross.
Not too much to laugh at her but it had like one or two moments
all of them involving Dean. *
The Bottom Line- Average skit
was **.26 but because of Avril I will be super nice and give
this show a thumbs in the middle. Without Avril this show would've
hit Drew Barrymore territory which is never a good thing. Less
Jimmy, Horatio and Maya and more Amy, Seth and Dean is the way
to go and I hope they realise it before it's too late and the
show really starts going down the shitter. Avril Lavigne can't
bail you guys every week.
Thumbs in the Middle