Sarah Michelle Gellar / Faith Hill
October 12, 2002

By Shelley R.

PRE-SHOW THOUGHTS

Hey everyone! This is Shelley again, aka "Aeris5000" and this week
I won't forget to put my name on my review. I got an e-mail asking
whether or not I have episodes on tape, I'm so sorry the e-mail got
deleted by mistake. I actually have very few episodes on tape, most
of them are from 1997 'til now. I mostly have clips here and there.
If anyone has a specific request, I'll see if I can help!

Thanks for coming back for Ep. #2, hosted by Sarah Michelle Gellar, the
star of the most hideous TV show to movie adaptation I've ever seen. To be
fair, Scooby Doo wasn't that bad a movie with the exception of the gas
passing
contest between Shag and Scoob; now I know it's possible for a whole movie
to be ruined by one scene. I keep thinking this is Sarah's third time
hosting, but she hosted at least one other time a few seasons ago.
While I don't watch Buffy and haven't seen too many of her movies,
she's cool and I look forward to tonight's show. I absolutely abhor
country music, so I'm not too excited about Faith Hill. She's been
crossing over to pop somewhat, so I've heard a couple of her
older singles like "Breathe" and "The Way You Love Me", I think
it's called.

Personal note of the week: I hate cats! Well, one particular cat that's
been living in my parents' backyard since it was a kitten. It's a feral cat,
not a stray, the difference being that this one was born in the wild and
hasn't had contact with humans. It's a cute, gray little thing that we've
called Misty, except now we're certain it's a male. My mom feeds this
thing every day and it likes her, but hates everyone else. She lets this
thing in the house and leaves the door open so it can get out, so now it's
60º in here and 4 out of 6 of us here are allergic to cats, so now I'm
freezing and itching like mad. I can deal with it for a few hours, I guess.

COLD OPENING

I can't believe what I just saw! Chris P. playing George Bush, I never
imagined this sort of thing before. I was content with the possibility of
no one filling in for Will's spot this season, but there's too much good
Bush jokes we'd be missing out on. The opening was a presidential
address given by George Bush and Dick Cheney (Darrell) as a message
to Saddam Hussein that they will track him down, a basic message, but
filled with great jokes. I loved the one about "COPS", a show that I can
see Bush watching. Darrell is great as Cheney, but the character itself is
rather dry. Chris P. was so awesome as George, dare I say he could end
up being a better George than Will. His voice was dead-on. He may not
look like George (I don't get how the nose putty helps), but that's a minor
thing. Way to go, Chris! It would be cruel to give this sketch anything
lower
than an "A".

Grade: A+

MONOLOGUE - SARAH MICHELLE GELLAR

I thought this was really cute! I love Halloween, so the vampire idea was
cool. I didn't think Sarah was actually going to play the guitar and sing,
so
I knew an interruption was going to happen. The vampires in the audience,
played by Rachel, Chris K. and Amy, got upset by a comment Sarah made
about driving stakes through them. A lawyer in the audience offers his
services and Sarah starts to panic. Ultimately, the monologue didn't get
anywhere, but it was a cute idea. I liked how some people in the audience
groaned when it turned out Sarah wasn't going to sing after all.

Grade: B

COMMERCIAL - SWIFFER SLEEPERS

I can tell this commercial was invented by the word "sleepers" being so
similar
to "sweepers". I had my share of Winnie the Pooh blanket sleepers as a child
and know what great dirt collectors they make. But the whole thing didn't
seem
to work for some reason in this commercial. Maybe 'cause the idea of a mom
pushing her kids around on the floor isn't that funny, I have no clue. The
kids engaged is some sick-looking activity on the floor which didn't look
good. It
wasn't totally bad, but it was probably the weakest commercial I've seen
counting the excellent ones last year.

Grade: C+

SKETCH - SAFETY GUYS

I got some old-school SNL vibes coming out of this one. It somehow reminded
me of the character Dan Akroyd used to play as the promoter of unsafe
Halloween costumes. One of the new guys plays a role very similar to that.
When the sketch first started, I thought for sure that Chris K. was doing his
character that mumbles incoherently. The name's on the tip of my tongue,
Saul Rosenberg, something like that. Maya, Sarah and the new guy (I will
eventually learn who's who) play stupid safety enforcers visiting a
high-school classroom to give the kids tips. The tips get progressively
worse and by the end of the sketch, I was glad it was over. There
were a couple neat things sprinkled in here, but not enough to make the
sketch stand out. The new guy's comment to Rachel about hoping she'd get
assaulted every day for her stupidity was one of the funnier lines. Another
was the idea of sticking a pen through a gun's trigger to stop someone from
shooting you.

Grade: B-

SKETCH - CHRIS K.'S FANTASY

Sorry for the dumb name, but I'm not sure else to call it. This was really
funny, I
love how the whole thing ended up being a fantasy in Chris K.'s mind. This
idea
was done before, last season in the Derek Jeter episode, to be exact. I
loved it
back then and the same is true now. I also saw some hints of one of Chris'
older characters, the guy who would put on weird songs and then dance to them
suggestively (seen in Teri Hatcher episode years ago). Chris P. gets the
good
sport award for playing a dental patient who's being attended to by Chris K.
and
Sarah. When Chris K. puts on the radio, he starts lip-synching to an old
Lionel Richie song and another sappy 80's song. He's in love with Sarah, so
he jumps
onto Chris P. and pulls her toward him, killing Chris P. in the process.
This
fantasy turns into another with Chris P. dying in an operating room while
Sarah
and Chris K. try to revive him. Finally, Chris K. wakes up to his job in a
convenience store; turns out he was reading a Rolling Stones magazine with
Sarah on the front. I liked how Chris P. turned out to be just a customer at
the
store. I love these skits because they're both funny and complex at the same
time.

Grade: A

SKETCH/COMM. - TRANSAMERICAN AIRLINES

This sketch was made up a bunch of confessionals of airlines staff who
promote
their airlines for using racial profiling as their security. The sketch was
meant to
be funny and politically incorrect, but it's so ironic that most real
airlines probably wish they could do this. For that reason, I didn't see it
as funny, but it wasn't bad. Tracy had the best line and summed up the issue
pretty damn well.

Grade: B

COMMECIAL - CORONA BEER AD #1

This is Part one of a three part series of beer commercials featuring Jimmy
and an unknown female on the beach. Jimmy's drunk and accidentally throws
his beer bottle into the ocean instead of his cell phone. Either one would
have been
moronic. The camera is set behind the characters, so we never see the girl's
face and we barely see Jimmy. We get a beautiful view of the ocean which is
too pretty to be real. This tiny sketch was dull and meaningless, the
funniest part
was watching Jimmy's phone vibrating on the wooden table next to him. The
silence when this was over was spooky, I don't think the audience was too
into this.

Grade: D

SKETCH - SADDAM SENDS OUT THE LOOKALIKES

Like the cold opening, this political sketch focused on a straight-forward
issue, this time on Saddam Hussein worrying about Bush's attack on him.
Darrell plays Saddam and is surrounded by a gang of cronies which included
Jimmy and Jeff. They're watching a TV address given by Bush and afterwards,
begin to ponder its implications. In real life news, Saddam is known to have
many lookalikes that act
as decoys for him, so that was a big part of this sketch. It was funny how
Saddam encouraged one of his lookalikes, Chris K., to go up the roof and
count how many birds he sees without moving too much. When a second
lookalike, played by a much bigger Horatio, came in, I was laughing so hard.
When he left, I knew
Jimmy was cracking up before they actually showed him laughing. I don't like
seeing Saddam or bin Laden parodied on the show, it just bugs me. They both
suck and I hate seeing them in any shape or form, especially on my beloved
SNL.

Grade: C+

COMMERCIAL - CORONA BEER AD #2

Pretty much the same deal as in the first ad. Except Jimmy's a bit more
drunk this time around. The cell phone buzzes again, making me smile, but
that was about it. In a fit of narcolepsy, Jimmy falls asleep suddenly when
his girlfriend walks off in disgust. The audience caught on a bit more with
this one.

Grade: D

MUSICAL GUEST - FAITH HILL

Well, I hate country music and due to time constraints in writing this, I
decided not to watch or grade this segment. Last year, I remember myself
saying that I was going to watch and evaluate every music guest, but now I'm
debating whether or
not that's a good idea. I still plan to try that, but I'll make an exception
to my rule this week since I'm in a rush.

Grade: N/A

WEEKEND UPDATE

This week's update was pretty good, better than last week's. My favorite
joke was
Tina's about the American Idol guy signing a record contract, not a real one,
but one
of those BMG offers for 10 CD's for a buck. That was so clever, good job on
that
one! I really liked all the jokes, except I didn't get the Noah Wyle one.
Jimmy's
joke about the yodelers was another that stood out. Tina went on a rant of
sorts
about the Jewish Fed. of Greater Seattle which made her leave her seat and
walk
past the cameras. Too bad the cameras didn't follow her since it was awkward
to
hear her speaking but watch Jimmy just sitting there alone. One of the
guests was
Seth playing Steve, the Dell Computer guy. This would have been a lot
funnier if
it was done last year when Steve was still somewhat popular. The mannerisms
were over the top, plus the real life actor who plays Steve is a total
jackass, so I
didn't care for this. The last guests were the Ramada Sisters, as a joke on
the
Hilton Sisters who visited Update last season. This must be a New York thing,
as I have no clue who the Hiltons are, nor do I care. The Ramada Sisters were
just as slutty and ditzy as the Hiltons from the Kirsten Dunst episode. I
kind of
wish they had represented a lesser hotel chain, like Motel 6 or something,
but I
guess the company had to be based in New York. Okay, I'm looking too deep
into this thing.

Grade: A-

SKETCH - CHRISTINA AGUILERA "DIRTY" VIDEO SHOOT

I can tell SNL has a thing for Christina Aguilera and I guess she deserves it
since she's taken herself so low that her exceptional talent can't even help
her anymore. Sarah plays Christina on a video shoot for her new single.
Everything about the video is "dirty" with urine coming out of fog machines
and masturbators doing their thing. I was drinking some Pepsi when the
person in a chicken suit walked on and I almost spat it out, I was laughing
so hard. I've never seen the real "Dirty" video but now I want to so I can
compare the two. Jimmy played some guy named David LaChapelle, who
I'm guessing is a real person. There were some neat little things I noticed.
I caught Jimmy giving Sarah her cue by patting her arm and Dean looked
like he was totally without cue cards during his short appearance. The
funniest joke was the one Sarah gave about looking like a total ho, not
just a pop music ho. Great job with this one but it did run a bit too long.

Grade: B+

SKETCH - ARLI$$ SOLVES INCONTINENCE?

This started out looking like a parody of "The View", but turned into an
ad about bladder control. Sarah plays a character in a confessional about
her problem and the sketch ends up being an ad for the HBO show "Arli$$".
I've never seen it, but I guess it's horribly boring and unfunny, thus, it's
perfect
for those with bladder control who won't have to worry about laughing while
watching "Arli$$". I would have liked this more if I knew what the show was
about, but it was funny. I thought it was astounding how fast the
makeup/hair
artists cleaned Sarah up so quickly after the last sketch. Amazing.

Grade: B-

CONFRONTATION/SKETCH - TRACY, SARAH & FAITH

The previous sketch segued right into this. As Sarah is stepping off the
stage, Tracy comes up to her and says that Faith Hill wants to wrestle
her. Of course, Tracy is just looking for some "girl on girl" fighting, so
Sarah
isn't buying it. Faith comes out and the two women clear the issue up and
call for Lorne. I knew how this was going to end, with Lorne secretly
wanting
to see the wrestling, too. I guess this was a nice time-waster, but too
predictable.

Grade: C+

MUSICAL GUEST - FAITH HILL

Like before, I chose not to watch/grade this. I know Faith sang a second
song, but I forget exactly where in the show she did it.

Grade: N/A

SKETCH - MY MAN

I don't know what the heck this was. It looked like a commercial, or
something from BET. Maya is in the background on a couch, singing
the praises of her "man", played by Tracy, sitting there stupidly in the
foreground. Maya goes on to describe all her woman parts and how
they're all for her man. But he's only stuck on her breasts, which she
mentioned at the beginning. The best part of this was the end, when
both of them lose their lust and decide to watch "Gilmore Girls" and
eat popcorn. That joke alone saved this sketch.

Grade: C-

COMM./SKETCH - CORONA BEER AD #3

This was the same thing again, except Jimmy is MORE drunk than
before and there are more empty beer bottles on the little table. He
accidentally knocks out the server with an empty bottle and his
girlfriend pulls him away when the cops arrive. This was slightly
better than the other two 'cause I just had to laugh when the server
got knocked on the head with the bottle.

Grade: D+

SKETCH/COMM. - IT'S ALL SADDAM'S FAULT

Point here is, blame your problems on Saddam, it's much easier than
blaming them on our own society. I take it there are going to be lots more
of these short "sketch-lets" so I'd better get used to them. This was
taped in the same fashion as the TransAmerican Airlines, with
different castmembers taking turns sharing their problems. And Tracy's
line, this one about his homeless lifestyle, was again the best of the
bunch. There was nothing imaginative about it, just cut and dry stuff
that was occasionally amusing.

Grade: C+

SKETCH - SEXUAL HARASSMENT CLASS

This was a pretty entertaining sketch considering it was saved for the end.
Sarah plays a co-worker who's teaching others in the company about
sexual harassmnt. Chris P. plays "Merv the Perv", a guy who's not getting
any, that decides to crash the seminar. Lots of jokes ensue, most of them
are clever responses to Sarah's demands that he stop. I heard my name in
this sketch! Woo-hoo! Was that a coincidence? Probably, but I can always
fantasize that someone at SNL is reading the reviews I've written. I've heard
my name before, on the Girls Gone Wild sketch with Mena Suvari (I think).
Chris dons a pair of those rip-away pants that he pulls away from his body
at the end. At the end, Sarah and Chris talk seriously to the camera about
sexual harassment, but soon enough, Chris goes back to his old ways. I
liked this, but the group of castmembers and extras looked too exhausted
to put much effort into this.

Grade: B+

POST-SHOW THOUGHTS

I hope I got everything in the show since my VCR stopped taping right
after the Sexual Harassment sketch ended. The music was playing while
Sarah's bumper came up, so I think that was the end.

Another episode is in the books. Sarah always does a good job when she
hosts, but I was surprised that she wasn't given much to do. There were at
least two sketches that she didn't appear in, along with some of the
sketch-lets.
Like last week, I noticed the trend of little sketches sprinkled here and
there
was used again. I don't mind these, really. I may have graded most of them
quite low, but I don't take those too seriously since they're just fillers.
As long
as they don't take an entire segment each, I'm happy. Again, I'm running low
on time, so I hope to see you all next week! Here's my awards for
the night:

Female Player of the Night: Amy
Male Player of the Night: Chris P. (same as last week for both!)
Sketch of the Night: Chris Kattan's Fantasy w/Sarah
Worst Sketch of the Night: The trio of Corona ads

Overall Grade: B-