Matt Damon / Bruce Springsteen
October 5, 2002

By Sinie Conley

This is my first review, so if it*s bad, just let me know and I won*t do this again.

Pre-Show Thoughts:

Not a big Matt Damon fan, but I LOVE Bruce Springsteen, so the show should be pretty good,
except for Will not being there this season. The rest of the cast should be able to hold up
the show without him, though. Either way, a new season begins! The show must go on!

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Cold Open:

War on Iraq

Parnell is great as Tom Brokaw. I love Darrell*s Cheney impression! The sketch could have
been just a little bit longer. Not enough time to be really really funny. Great opener,
though.

Grade: B
Best Line: "Nice to have a missile this size between my legs."

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Monologue:

More like a sketch than a monologue. The dancing kinda reminded me of the Spartan sketches
from when Will Ferrell and Cheri Oteri were on the show. I miss Will. :(

Grade: B+
Best Line: "Lennox, you hit so hard!"

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Commercial:

NRA. It totally rocked! I*ve always wanted to shoot the Aflak duck! Not that I*m for hunting,
or anything. Cause I*m not.

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Brian Fellow*s Safari Planet:

This guy is such a moron. I love him! Can this ever get boring? No. Don*t think so. I don*t
see how he can keep a straight face through the whole thing. I*d crack. Way to start out the
season, Tracy.

Grade: A
Best Line: "Why does that pig hate Jewish people?"

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Commercial:

NRA Again. Dude! Carrot Top is so annoying!

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Next Week:

Sarah Michelle Gellar/Faith Hill

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Sully and Denise:

You gotta love this. Jimmy*s in it, for God*s sake. And adding in the Bruce Springsteen
concert...that was great! I felt so bad for Rachel when he didn*t take her on the stage. I
still miss Will.

Grade: A+
Best Line: Jimmy - "You*re a whore." Rachel - "I am."

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Commercial:

So many commercials tonight. Anal food? Ouchie. All that up my butt? No way.

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Musical Guest:

Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band

Gotta love this man! Love that song! Oh yeah! I*m happy now! Go Bruce!

Grade: A+
Best Line: No line. It*s a song.

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Hannibal Lector*s Freshman Year:

Ever wonder what happens to characters in movies before they are characters? This movie will
tell you everything you didn*t want to know about Hannibal. Wow. haha

Grade: B
Best Line: "Dude, I told you he was gay."

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Weekend Update:

Yes! Jimmy and Tina are back! I love this, man! Ooh. Jimmy is so hot. Seth and Matt do a
great job comforting the Yankee fans. I am a Yankee fan, and was crushed when they lost.
Yankees are winners in my heart, though, and that*s all that matters. GO JETER!

Grade: A+
Best Line: "My wife is a black bear!"

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Celebrity Names:

A girl that went to my school was named Candi Cane. This was kinda confusing. Let*s see, Amy
was Pat Damon, Parnell was Matt Damon, Matt was Matt Damon (duh), Darrell was Matt Damon,
Tracy was Ben Affleck, and Dean was Dr. J, am I right? Was that it?

Grade: A
Best Line: "Maybe we shold get married."

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Versace Pockets:

Maya does that so well, doesn*t she? I love her impressions. They need to let her do Charro
again. That one is really good. But Versace was good too.

Grade: B+
Best Line: "Donatella Versace? What are you doing behind our couch?"

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TV Funhouse:

Smurfette! I miss her! I wonder what Anna Nicole is gonna say about this one. Oh God. They
did a good job. I kinda like the Anna Nicole Show, though. Oh well. SNL makes fun of
everything, and I would feel priviledged to be spoofed by them.

Grade: A+
Best Line: "You mean your smurf itches."

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Musical Guest:

Bruce!!!! This song is beautiful. Love it. Absolutely love it.

Grade: A+
Best Line: No line. It*s a song.

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Secret Government Project:

General Mills. Cereal company. Nice one. Who thought of that? This was really cute. A sex
robot? That*s not to original, is it?

Grade: A
Best Line: "I am not sticking my thing in there."

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Dr. Phil:

Never heard of him. Did he write a book? He*s a perv, though, and that*s always funny.

Grade: B-
Best Line: "I think you*re a fat old perv."

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New TV Show:

The War on Iraq. That would make a good reality show. haha I can see it now. Dude. They
should do that. Way to go, SNL!

Grade: A
Best Line: "Are Tony Blair and George W. falling in love?"

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Overall grade:
Overall stars:
Best line overall: "Nice to have a missile this size between my legs."

Post Show Thoughts:

Great way to start the new season! I think Will needs to come back and host soon. Really
soon. I miss him! The cast should be able to pull through, though, and take the show higher
than it*s ever been.