Reese Witherspoon / Alicia Keys
September 29, 2001

Hi fans, I am Brendan Merritt, and this is my first ever SNL episode review! That makes me happy. No, I am not usually that easily excited. Unless somebody who looks like Reese Witherspoon or Alicia Keyes happens to be walking by/on TV. And what a coincidence! They are both on! Woo-hoo!

Let me now add, in a moment of seriousness, I love NY. Seriously. I mean I had better, I live here. Go Mets! Go Jets! Go Islanders! Go 76ers (yeah, I hate the Knicks)! NYC is my home, and when I woke up on the morning of 9-11-01 and turned on the TV to check the weather before getting dressed for class, I happened to do it just in time to catch the second airplane hit the south Tower live. Still a scary thing to think about. I am glad I am here on the campus of my school in Queens, (Go St. Johns), and not at Pace University, which is one of the schools I considered going to. They are right in the TriBeCa/SoHo area for those of you who don't know. Just 10 or so blocks from the WTC.

But let me get on with it...

Cold Opening:
--I have never been a big fan of Mayor Giuliani. Mainly because he is a republican, and I am much further to the left. But anyways, I am glad that he has been able to hold the City together in this time of crisis. I am also very proud of New York's Bravest and New York's Finest.
--Paul Simon. He is so awesome. I love all of his music, and was happy to see him on. "The Boxer" is one of my favorite songs of his, next to "Sound of Silence," which wouldn't have been as good a song to play at this point.
--Lorne: Can we be funny now?"
Giuliani: "Why start now?"
Ha ha, yeah somewhat funny. Not the best thing that they could have done. Pretty obvious somebody struggled for a while to come up with just the right "Ice Breaker" joke.
Rating: 9/10

I had to pee, so I didn't see it or hear it. I heard that Don Pardo screwed up on a few of the names in the middle, and that there are a few new featured players. Oh well, hope we meet some of them tonight.

Reese Witherspoon's Monologue:
I suppose that it was going to be a struggle to be the first person to host after 9/11 day. Reese did a pretty good job of keeping everyone's attention by stretching out her joke for over a minute. I didn't really pay attention to her monologue though, just her. The punch line, when it came around, wasn't that good. I was waiting for a worse bad word. "balls" isn't exactly something the censors have to sweat over.
Rating: 7/10

Prep-H Commercial:
Um, okay. I have never seen a prep-h commercial quite like this. It was pretty interesting. May I just add, that tube looked a, if you know what I mean.
Rating: 7/10

Wake Up Wakefield:
I am going to use this spot to say that while I am a fan of Jimmy Fallon, I really hate how all these little teen girls drool over him. There are many more guys out there who have potential (ah-hem), you just have to find them! That said...
--Rachel Dratch's Sheldon reminds me of one of my friends in HS. Maya's Megan is just a poor over-hormoned teen girl. I like the band they have. I played saxophone in elementary school and keyboards in HS.
--Yea! Megan is over Randy...oh wait, not really. Damn. I hoped someone had finally come to their senses.
--Reese WItherspoon as the Spanish club Prez: She is soooo good looking. Its at this point that I found myself wishing that I could be Jimmy Fallon. Not cause he has like 50 million 13 year old female friends, but cause he was making out with the lovely Ms. Witherspoon. Wait a minute, what am I saying? If anybody ever catches me wishing I were Fallon again, kick me please.
--The whole thing with the studio window was pretty funny.
Rating: 9/10

Little Mermaid:
I am just going to say that I don't care how many lobsters she has bedded, if I were Will I would take her in a flash. That's kind of pathetic huh? If it were any other actress I probably would not have said that.
--Horatio and a halibut...come to think about it, they make a great couple.
Rating: 8/10

Musical Guest: Alicia Keyes ("Fallin")
She is sooo gorgeous. Plus she is a master at the piano. What more can a guy ask for? Great body, great voice, great hands and fingers...
Rating: 9/10

Weekend Update:
I am going to admit right here, I was a huge fan of Colin Quinn. Maybe its cause we were both Irish. I don't know. But I did get attached to Tina and Jimmy last year, so I am now pretty comfortable with them.
--This was pretty good, lots of good jokes. Hammond's Jesse Jackson impersonation is great. I have always liked it. The whole thing with *69ing, His song (Hey Mr. Taliban Tali-me banana)
--Jimmy's hair did look pretty bad from the start. I hate him so much.
Rating: 10/10 (but do to Hammond and Fey, not Fallon!)

The Culps:
--The Culps at a commitment ceremony. How nice of them. They have always struck me as being a good liberal couple.
--I can't remember anymore what songs they did, but I do remember it was good.
Rating: 6/10

Celebrity Jeopardy:
This has always been on of my favorite sketches. When Connery is a guest, which he almost always is, you know there are going to be a few good lines.Tonight, no exception:
--Horse Men // Whore semen (actually I saw this one coming when Ferrel announced the categories)
--Wow, Anne Heche sure does seem to get around. Chris Kattan! Shame on you Chris, taking advantage of such a screwed up person.
Rating: 9/10

Flatulence-challenged Baby
--Well, my first response was "That's not normal. In fact, that is pretty damn gross."
--When Will and Chris were alone together, it was like they made up their own lines.
--"This Baby's Hilarious!" (Tracy Morgan)
Rating: 5/10

Music: Alicia Keyes ("A Woman's Worth")
I am not totally familiar with this song, but Alicia Keyes is still on of the most talented and pretty female singers that I know of. Or rather, Pretty and talented. Hell, what I am saying is that Brittany Spears totally sucks, she has no talent, and it is only a matter of time before she ends up making a living by doing porno with some overweight greasy fat director pinching her ass all day...but man I wish I could be that guy.
Rating: 8/10

Donatella Versace
Completely stupid. Sorry.
Rating: 4/10

Let's add up the scores folks! 9+7+7+9+8+9+10+6+9+5+8+4= 91/120 (75.83%)

It was great to see SNL finally come back after 9-11. It certainly did seem to help cheer up the city. I do, however, also want to say kudos to David Letterman, one of the first entertainers to come back after the attacks. He is my hero!

So, this has been my first review. Yea! I did it! So, if anybody wants to contact me for any reason--complaints, praises, Reese Witherspoon's phone number, let me know! Oh yeah, you probably want to know my e-mail, huh? or, you can find me on AOL Instant Messenger at bmeri459 (original, huh). Well, thats all. Bye.

Episode Review written by Brendan Merritt

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