Reese Witherspoon / Alicia Keys
September 29, 2001

God Bless America

Announcer: Stuff that happened over the summer. With Art Vandelay and Tina

Art: I'm Art Vandelay

Tina: And I'm Tina Fey. This summer thousands of hearts were broken
when I got married.

Art: Through out the summer many in the news media covered stories on
Congressman Gary Condit prompting many people to say "Who cares?"

Tina: You know Art, one of the biggest surprises of the summer was
that Robert Downey Jr. was not arrested for drug possession.

Art: Yes, Tina, but I'd say Mariah Carrey had enough breakdowns for
both of them.

Tina: And let's not forget Anne Heche.

Art: Finally, George W. Bush vowed to solve one of America's biggest
problems: the ending to Planet of the Apes. For stuff that happened
over the summer I'm Art Vandelay.

Tina: and I'm Tina Fey


Don Pardo: Art Vandelay's Episode Review.
Starring: Art Vandelay with Tina Fey
Featuring: Reese Witherspoon/Alicia Keyes
Written by: Art Vandelay

Hi everybody. Welcome back. It's time for my little monologue thingy
here. First, let's check the tally:
Consecutive episode reviews: 4
Ha! Watch out Jordan!

Now, I'm going to review the movies I saw this summer.

Pearl Harbor: Sucked. Special effects were good, but took advantage
of war veterans and had a dumb love story.

A.I.: Pretty good, but a weak ending.

Planet of the Apes: I hate the ending!! Burn it! It made me want to
stab my brain with a fork.

Rat Race: Not that funny, but I had some of the funny parts spoiled for me.
If you want a good movie, I recommend Memento. Go rent it now!

[Cold Opening] A Tribute to Heroes.
This is one of SNL's greatest moments. No doubt about it. The mayor's
speech was excellent and I enjoyed Paul Simon's song. New York City
is the best city in the world.
Grade: A+

Since Tina is a cast member now, I hope that means she will be in
more sketches. I just hope she doesn't have to play Ana Gasteyer's
characters. :)

[MONOLUGE] Reese Witherspoon
Ahhh, not really much of anything. I thought Reese spoke very well
though. If I wasn't married, I'd go out with her.
Grade: B

[COMMERCIAL] Preparation H
I had a hard time telling who the people in the commercial were. I
think it was Jimmy, Kattan, Dean, Seth, and Jeff. A decent
commercial. I'd say a little better then Corn Chip Nail Tip. Grrr
Grade: B-

Now it's time for my contest. It's called "Guess the number of times
Saturday Night Live will air this commercial parody." E-mail me your
guess at You have till 11:30 Saturday,
October 6th. You never know if they'll show it again next week. I
will announce the winner in my season finale review. I'll give you a
hint, it's aired at least once. The winner will receive Christina

[SKETCH] Wake Up Wakefield
Who was that guy who announced the sketch? I guess they fired Don Pardo.
I'd say this is the best installment of this sketch. I liked the
addition of the viewer window. I still say this sketch has potential.
Grade: B+

[SKETCH] The Little Mermaid
Reese can sing pretty good. I wonder if this is a recurring sketch.
They take classic stories and make them dirty like last year with
"The Scarlet Letter". A couple good one liners. I didn't understand
the part at the end with the fish and the crab.
Grade: B

[MUSICAL GUEST] Alicia Keyes
IIIII keep on hearing this stupid song, it's true
IIIII never wanna hear it again.
Grade: D

[WEEKEND UPDATE] Jimmy Fallon and Mrs. Vandelay
A lot of good jokes. I liked the Mariah Carrey joke, and the Hardball
joke. The Jesse Jackson commentary was funny. Darrell really used the
hand gestures. I liked the moose hunting bit. What was with Jimmy's
Grade: A
Wait a minute! Who is the father of Wynona Rider's baby? And what
about Jimmy wearing glasses? Damn it!

[SKETCH] The Kulps
A good set-up, singing at a lesbian uh joining. There weren't really
any good songs this time. Booty-licious was funny.
Grade: B

[SKETCH] Jeopardy
Here we go. Reese was pretty good. Dean's impression was good, but
the voice was annoyingly high. And of course, Sean Connery. This
installment was weaker then the rest. I watched this again and paused
it on Anne's resume'. The people she slept with are pretty funny,
like Chris Kattan. Connery's final answer wasn't that funny.
Grade: B

[MUSICAL GUEST] Alicia Keyes
It would have been better if Alan Keys was the musical guest.

[SKETCH] Gassy Baby
This sketch was really weird. It seemed like they were making it up
as they went along.
Grade: C

[SKETCH] Versace for the Children
I have no idea who any of the other singers were. I'm confused.
Grade: C

The first half of the episode was really good. It got weak towards
the end. Reese was a good host. I wanted to see Amy Poheler and the
other new players. Next week is Seann William Scott. I hope I come up
with some good jokes by then. See you later kids!

Episode Review written by Art Vandelay

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