Reese Witherspoon / Alicia Keys
September 29, 2001

OK, I have a few topics to discuss but I'll keep them brief.

The attack: it would seem kind of redundant to say more about it, really. I'm just really glad it brought our country closer together.

Michael Jordan's return: Why???? It seems rather pointless. What more does he have to prove? Now this means that the whole '98 Finals is now pointless. That image of him shooting the winning jumpshot was supposed to mean the final image of an illustrious career.'s been tarnished.

Enterprise: My best friend is a Trekker, so I decided to give the new series a shot. From a point of view of someone who knows little about Star Trek, I liked it. Although I've read a couple of rants on the net that trash the show b/c it doesn't get some things right. Also, they didn't have great special effects in 1966, so having special effects in the prequel sort of ruins it. Yeah, whatever. As Shatner said on SNL, get a life!

You Rock My World: I have been waiting for the new Michael Jackson album for a few years and now it is finally seeing the light of day. I like his first single. It's just a simple song, none of this angry stuff that has plagued his music since the child molesting thing. The video was great too. I can't wait for October 30th.

One more thing, I'll do a fellow reviewer a favor


OK, on to the review.


Reese Witherspoon has charm, but I've never liked her movies too much. It's not that the movies are bad, but her characters just get on my nerves. She may have the humor to perform well though.

Alicia Keys seems to be heading down the road of Lauryn Hill in that she's going to become a bit overrated. I bought her Songs In A Minor album because I heard so many great things about it. It's a good album, but not really great. Most of the songs more or less sound the same, and she needs to work on her lyrics. But it's still good work. She'll obviously perform Fallin' and if she does a second one I think it will be either Girlfriend or How Come You Don't Call Me.

(OPENING) Message From The Mayor/Paul Simon & "The Boxer"

-I've always liked Guiliani, but since the attacks I've come to respect the man. I'd like for him to extend his term. I liked the fact that he wasn't there for the cheers, he was there to say something
-A great way to open the season
-It is tough to believe that 9/11 had the most number of lives lost in a
single day
-Paul Simon? Yes!
-I love this song! And he did a great job of performing it
-Loved the trumpet
-That could very well be the best "Live from New York" in history



-Rachel's finally a cast member
-Ana with Tina? WTF?
-Maya's a cast member too
-But no Chris P.
-Dangit, new people to learn
-Amy's the only one I know

(MONOLOGUE) Reese Witherspoon

-If anyone can kick start the show into a light mood, Reese can
-She seems very composed up there
-I hope this joke is funny, or at least insightful
-At least she tells it well
-Oh, that was really funny........right
-I guess she really didn't have any jokes.


(COMMERCIAL) Preparation H

-At least we get to see some new people
-Someone tell me the joke. Please. I didn't catch it
-What a lousy way to get the funny part of the show started


Seen the ads for Corky Romano? Oy, I feel that will be bloody awful. Also, I noticed that a guy is now on the PA telling the cast to get in their places, as opposed to a woman from the last few years.

(SKETCH) Wake Up Wakefield

-Oh god, not again
-I think the novelty, what little there was, has worn off
-Why is everyone laughing at Rachel's character? It hasn't changed!
-Obviously that sax player was faking it
-The window was kind of funny
-Oh darn, she's not in love with Randy. What will I do?
-I am taking Spanish class this year, and I sort of dislike it
-If Reese's character was serious about Spanish, she should work on her
-We don't have Spanish Club here in AZ, it's the Mexican-American Club
-Well, we got a little shot of the bosom
-Sanz kind of looks like William Daniels in Boy Meets World
-Go Jimmy!
-Maya reminds me of a few people from my junior high school. Not a good
thing, as those people weren't my favorite
-Aw dang, she's back to worshiping Randy again


(SKETCH) The Little Mermaid

-The extent of my Mermaid knowledge is the Disney film
-Aw geez, of course we've got to go perverted
-I'd run away like Will as well
-OK, I don't necessarily want to visualize Ariel having sex with sea
-I wondered how she was born
-It must have been a big egg she came out
-Can you say WTF?!?


(MUSIC) Alicia Keys

-Well the intro was cut
-Is anyone surprised she's doing this song?
-What was the point of that third singer? To sing the words you and I?
-Is it just me, or did the singers rush it ever so slighty near the end?
-A great performance of an OK song


(WEEKEND UPDATE) Jimmy Fallon and Tina Fey w/Darrell

-Too bad they didn't get rid of Jimmy
-It came in right at the Glitter joke. I assume it was funny
-Oy, why is MJ returning? Stupid move! But funny joke
-Stupid Nostradamus bit
-Good Don King joke
-Good joke about Hitler's Chicken
-Aw, Tina. I think you're beautiful!
-Since when did Jesse Jackson become ghetto?
-The Jackson bit went on too long
-Good Reno joke
-Man Jimmy, get back to the news
-Good Clooney joke
-Stupid bit about the moose
-Well, at least they ended it well
-A nice way for Update to start the year


(SKETCH) The Culps

-Don't tell me that the Culps are performing at a lesbo wedding
-Dang it!
-This sketch is too tired
-A hot mike? You're kidding.................
-Geez, some originality couldn't hurt
-Mildly amusing Mr. Roboto reference
-No surprises C-

(SKETCH) Celebrity Jeopardy

-Jeopardy this late in the show? Weird. But who cares? I love this
-No Jimmy?
-The Tucker impression is probably gonna get old
-Loved the Heche impression
-Turned down Harry Potter? Gee
-The buzzer is different
-Did Sean really need to point the Whore Semen thing out?
-Yep, the Tucker impression got old right away
-As much as I hate to say it, Jeopardy is getting old. Maybe it's time
Sean Connery was put to rest

GRADE: B (first time I have not given a Jeopardy sketch an A)

(MUSIC) Alicia Keys

-I think she cracked on one of those high notes
-Well, I was wrong in my predictions. This song is called A Woman's Worth.
-I sorta like this song
-I thought it was kind of funny for that guy in the middle to sing
about a woman's worth
-In the actual song, she repeats the "woman's worth" chorus about 10 times so it was nice to have it a bit shorter here
-Not as impressive as the first time B-

(SKETCH) A Posessed Baby

-Farts sure are an 8 year old
-Is anyone laughing yet?
-I was totally expecting a priest to come in and say "The power of Christ compels you"
-What in the world is going on?
-What just happened?
-Why coffee? What does that have to do with anything?
-Someone explain it to me!


(SKETCH) Versace

-I'm not laughing
-Perhaps I'm too tired to find this entertaining
-Or else it's not amusing at all
-It's probably the latter


BEST SKETCH: The opening
WORST SKETCH: Posessed baby
BEST PERFORMER: Will, only because he didn't go over the top tonight and was the most consistent
WORST PERFORMER: That black guy who played Chris Tucker. I don't know his name yet, but he was unmemorable.
HOST: Nothing memorable. She didn't bomb, but was not exceptional.
MUSICAL GUEST: Very nice performances

That's all until next week, when the host will be Sean William Scott (joy) and the musical guest will be Sum 41 (gag me). Till next time, so long.

Episode Review written by Adam Shuler

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