The Rock / Andrew W.K.
April 13, 2002


Okay fuckers, lucky you. I was working all night on this review and for the first time in my 1 and a half years on this site I am sending this review way on time. I decided to watch the show and then write the review at 1 a.m. I am going to be dead by the time church starts, but hey, I've been sending in reviews on Thursdays for the last 2 months and none have been put on the review, so why not a rare Sunday morning review to shock everyone. Oh yeah, I have been writing the reviews every week and been sending them in, Sean has not been wanting to put them on soooo late in the week (Thursday), so this is the actual first review since Jack Black/The Strokes that I've actually been pure live to you all. Well, its nice to be back, just sucks that I'm up at 1 a.m. doing it.

 

Well this past Friday Afternoon, I ditched Track Practice, you know what that means, nah I have no idea either. Yeah, so I've been running track for about a month and a half now. Well yesterday we had this bitchy hard practice, my plan: to join the weight team and throw the javelin for the day, guess what it worked, I am officially the dirtbag of the team for doing that.

Oh yeah, if the review didn't make it from last week, my overall grade on it was a B. Dude, Camerons got a nice ass. No doubt about it. That's what they were trying to do last week, keep the viewers tuned in to Camerons ass. Also, Jimmy Eat Worlds music also, good stuff.

Oh yeh, last weeks review I really want to talk about something and it was this. I recently read Mark Polishuks SNL review from 4/6/02 and for almost 5 years has written an SNL review every week and this past week he announced this is his last SNL reviewing season. First off let me say that most of the topics I talk about are either related right from his review or are similarly compared to. My review will be very different next season due to his leaving the review squad. For Mark to leave is sort of a smart move because you should sort of appreciate the show as a fan rather than a reviewer at times. I on the other hand made a bad move when making my reviews. I think about the Thursday deadline and think of how I can compete with Mark or anybody else that sends in reviews. Its like a game when making these goddam reviews. My material has been lacking, but still I can not depart from the site without getting a message out to you, the viewer.

Spazo Tom: Shit are you going to get a song going.

Greg: No, now work on the stupid end of the season Update.

Spazo Tom: Fine, bye folks.

Back to Mark, well I salute his leaving the site, I probably will end up dedicating his leaving just cause hes inspired me to do reviews and in a way showed me how to be funny. Thanks Mark.

Well I have nothing else to freakin' talk about, that's the bad thing, when your all siked up for a review and then bamm, you got nothing to write. This is what schools like for me. I go to the classes, I try ignoring the teachers, but detention after death threat after detention, I feel I want to go in there and just chill and talk with my friends and try to scounder off a little learning time, but when I start learning and writing crap down, then I have nothing to write cause I'm so easily distracted by checking out girls in my class. The guy who thought up thongs and push up bras, man, you must get thousands of threats per days from teenagers just like me, who actually need the good grades, but are sooo distracted by the ladies, as I like to call them.

Well my favorite Update Anchor Norm Macdonald has got to be one of the dumbest guys in Hollywood. His show got cancelled about a year ago, done some shitty movies, now the lucky guy gets a new show with funny man Jon Lovitz and the executive producer is Adam Sandler. The part that makes this guy a dumbass is that he started a fight with Bob Saget, you remember him as Danny from Full House, well now Norms sitcom is now on the shelf of NBC. Fuck, man are his fans ever going to see him outside of the reruns on Comedy Central. Norm was in a good seat before his fight Bob Saget, but now I have no idea where Norms at in his career. If Don Ohlemeyer didn't kick him off SNL I guarantee he would have been on the show a good 3 more years still doing his Weekend Update, that could have been classic shit, but now when Norm has the chance to make a comeback he throws it away, f that.

Okay, lets get into the show, by the way, the time is 1:52 a.m. on Sunday Morning. Okay, the show tonight features The Rock back for his 2nd time on the show and musical guest Andrew W.K. Any idea what the W.K. stands for. Baffles me. Well, this is the most sports hosts ever in one season with the number being 3 tonight. The Rocks new movie Scorpion King looks good, but action is action, this type of movie has been done before. Both musical and comedy portions of the show will be good tonight in my opinion. Onto the show.

Opening: Bush talks
*These Bush Openings are really getting old, fast.
*I thought that overall this was dumb, the Nokia thing offer for the Suicide Bombers was the only funny thing.
*Not much to say here, that's all.
Grade: C-

Mono: The Rock
*No Wrestlers this time, but Kattan or as the Rock calls him Little Chris was in it.
*I missed if Kattan really hit him or not, but it is SNL so probably not.
Grade: C+

Skit: Brian Fellows Safari Planet
*WTF folks, well atleast Tracy will have something to carry him over to next season.
*His character comes off really gay though.
*The parrot that Jimmy had was funny mocking Brian Fellows.
Grade: B-

Sketch: Scorpion Prince
*The funny part was that Seth acted just like a typical teenager.
*I liked the convo about the tomb and stuff.
*Why did Jimmy and The Rock almost break character when Jimmy walked in.
*So that's the extent to this movie, a lady who shows a good amount of cleavage and a bad father role model for his own son, out in theaters next week, I hope you get to the ticket master and order your tickets before I get up and do that right nowyeh, you'd think that, but no, we're not doing that.
Grade: B-

Skit/Comm.: Arthur Anderson
*This tax payment type of skit reminds me of that skit from '96 with Tracy and Tim in it called Russel and Tate. Oh the memories.
*Nothing special here, it was actually really short.
Grade: C

Skit: Hardball
*After almost a year and one of the top new sketches rated by me from last year, Hardball finally makes an appearance.
*Been a while since the team of Matthews and Begula have been on SNL.
*The Begula pic of him and Osama was really sick.
*What was Jimmys wig and beard all about.
*Darrel wasn't at his strong comedy height, he didn't go crazy with his Chris Matthews impression for once.
*The letter from the guy to Hardball was really funny. The TV being on mute and still hearing Matthews was a really funny twist.
*My fave part was Darrels names for Will, here are some: Dick Navy, Vagina Coastguard, and Weiner Air Force.
*I like how Kattan makes Paul Begula so spunky and cheery.
Grade: B+

Misc.: Drunk Girl
*Not this again, I really can't stand this character.
*Poor Seth, being smushed between Drunk Girls: The Rock and Jeff.
Grade: C+

Skit: Singing on a Subway
*WTF
*What was the point of Tracy and Maya singing, especially on the Subway.
*Not funny, except I liked the castle/white castle line.
Grade: D

Skit: Gaydar
*Oh, this recurring skit from John Goodmans show.
*This is and was just as funny as the one back from November.
*I like how they say there guy and Rachel is sooo oblivious to it.
Grade: C+

Weekend Update: Fey 'n Fallon
*Highlights included: Al Sharpton, Enron/Arthur Anderson, Elton John/Hilary Clinton was disgusting. There were just ok jokes this edition of Update.
*So the mocking of Alanis means shes probably not doing the show this season.
*Whos Gene Shalot, Horatio what are you doing man??
*I might be wrong, but was that the first time Jimmy did the end tagline.
Grade: A-

Music: Andrew W.K.
*Pretty funky opening to the song.
*Nice rhythm and I liked the song, I'm not usually into this type of hard rock, but I can stand listening to it.
*I liked the addition of a piano into the song.
*Do they really need 3 guitarists for this song??
Grade: B

Skit: Bigfoot?????
*How f-in random.
*Oh good, a Neil Diamond return for Will Ferrell.
*You know I like these types of skits where it turns out all ordinary, then bam you see the Rock dressed as Bigfoot and then Will Ferrel pops in dressed as Neil Diamond, these are the types of comedic geniuses that make up this show. The parts with Will thinking he wasn't even here and thought he didn't even make the c.d. were great.
Grade: B+

Sketch: The Couple Formerly known as Messed Up
*The premise of this is getting really old.
*Amy and Kattan as the couple who call the cops and always end up fighting, the setting is different this time being at a hospital. It's the same routine like from the Goodman show and the Jack Black show. Nothing much to say left.
Grade: C

Music: Andrew W.K.
*For some reason, these guys remind me of Skid Row.
*The lead singer looks like Jeff Richards with a wig.
Grade: B

Misc: The Christmas Guys
*How random, where did this come from.
*The song was not really good.
*Tracy actually had something else to do, besides pretending hes running, he actually started to sing, but the comm. cut him off, that's messed up.
Grade: A-

Closing Credits: So, they had to end the show to go to Fear Factor Commercials, and I doubt they were rushing to end the show to go to ShowTime at Apollo. The commercial cut them off again, that sux.

After-Show: Well, like Cameron from last week, The Rock did not really do a major sketch role in most of the show. I thought this was much better though than Camerons show. A definite top 6 of the season. SNL really needs to work more on the openings of the show also, the George W. Bush is dumb premise is getting old, even a Cheney opening would be better than that. Lets see what kind of crap they put in for 11:30-11:35 next week.

Actor/Actress of the Night: Chris Kattan, Will Ferrell, and Tina Fey for Update
Sketches of the Night: Weekend Update, Hardball, and Scorpion Prince.
WTF File: Bigfoot, Brian Fellows,
Just plain Bad: Singing on a Subway, well this would be Jack Handys night to shine, but he is unable to participate in filing in for this event, due to actually reading his work and passing out from the boringness.
Breaking Characters: Jimmy and The Rock almost were done in the Scorpion King skit, and for the first time that I can recollect Darrell Hammond broke character in the Hardball sketch.

Lines of the Night:

From Monologue: "You probably know I have a movie out called Gosford Park 2."- The Rock

From Hardball:
Kattan as Begula: "Chris (Matthew's) that is ludicrous."
Darrel as Matthews: "Jimmy Neutron you got a comment."

From Bigfoot sketch:
"I'm pretty sure I'm in my basement talking to my radiator."-Will Ferrel as Neil Diamond.

Well its time to depart, Overall Grade is a B-. If you are a teenager like me, you are probably taping SNL due to 420. If you are watching it like you get 10-time host Alec Baldwin back and musical guest POD. This slot for music was changed so much its ridiculous. The other guests they had down were Larraine Newman for host, Alanis Morisette for music, or Elvis Costello for Music. Would have been a crazy show if either of the 3 had been a guest.

Okay, its been fun entertaining for you this review. The time is now 1:13 p.m., just got in from church. I fell asleep typing so was unable to send it in right after SNL, but atleast you can read my thoughts for once on Sunday Night.

That's all for now, have a good week, see you on 420.


Episode Review written by Greg Haledjian


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