Britney Spears
February 2, 2002


PRE-SHOW THOUGHTS: Brittany Spears is not one of my favorite people, so I am not looking forward to the show. Last time she was on, she did an okay job, but only because some of the sketches were written well with good cast support. From Sean's site, I guess there will be other guest stars for this show like Dan Ackroyd, her costar in her new movie that is coming out, and possibly Justin Timberlake, her current boyfriend and lead singer of NSYNC? I am in my late twenties; therefore, I am too mature and intelligent to like her and all those boy bands. Some people do like them though, including people my age! Just announced last week, Ana is pregnant which makes her the FIRST pregnant cast member. Congratulations Ana!

 

COLD OPENING: Having the Winter Olympics in the almost 100% Mormon city of Salt Lake City might cause some of the followers to try to convert some of the visitors here to their religion. However, actually joining in the competitions to do this is probably not going to happen or disguising themselves as the press. This sketch was not laugh out loud funny, but I chuckled a bit at the parody on what Mormons would probably do in the Winter Games if they could. Dan, Will, Amy and Seth all did good jobs. Nice to not have a political cold opening for once this season.

Best Line: "No one has more than more wife anymore. We simply don't do it." Mormon Will. "I do it!" Mormon Dan Ackroyd. 

Grade: B

 

MONLOGUE: At first I did not recognize Kattan doing Brittany until he showed his face since it was down in the beginning. He is simply doing what Brittany does in her act, lip-sync to her songs. His imitation was hilarious including making fun of himself in the process. As expected, Justin Timberlake shows up to judge to "real" Brittany Spears but realizes he had a night of ecstasy with the wrong Brittany. Brittany was a good sport to make fun of her virginity. When she showed of her "actual" dance moves though, they were not all that spectacular in my opinion. I would take Kattan's herky-jerky ones over them any day. Brittany is funny here only because of cast support.

Best Line: "Chris, what made think that you could get away with this?" Brittany. "I don't know, I'm sorry. My personal life is falling apart okay. Corky Romano didn't do as well as I thought you know. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for video, so that's.. "That isn't cool Chris seriously, this is not cool!" Brittany. Justin makes a disgusted look on his face. "I do Mango though, that's kind of cool. No you cannot have me. (in his Mango voice)." Chris. "No actually that is not cool." Brittany whispers.     

Grade: A-

 

LOOSE BEAR COMMERCIAL: See my review when I originally saw this commercial in the Hugh Jackman episode, which I believe was an F. I did not like it then, and I still do not like it!

 

BRIAN FELLOW'S SAFARI PLANET: This sketch started off as unfunny but has evolved into a good quality one giving Tracy Morgan one of those rare reoccurring sketches. His stupidity when the animals come onto his show is humorous. The fact that he thought Brittany's character's name was Barbara just because she was from Santa Barbara and thought that the shorthaired rabbit cut his own hair was funny. Dean Edwards gets a rare appearance as a guest bringing a donkey and did an okay job.      

Best Line: "He is a three-year old short-haired rabbit." Gabi Connors. "Why did you cut its hair so short?" Brian Fellows. "Actually, I did not cut his hair short, this particular rabbit has natural hair, yeah." Gabi. "Rabbits don't cut their own hair, that's crazy!" Brian. "Of course rabbits can't cut their own hair! No." Gabi. "That's what I said." Brian.

Grade: B

 

INSIDE BARBIE'S DREAMHOUSE: Another not laugh out loud but amusing sketch. I used to have the Barbie Dreamhouse and most of the dolls in the sketch as a kid. Who knew that Barbie led such a wild partying life and that Ken was a closet queen. Kind of made fun of the whole Barbie lifestyle with a soap opera type sketch. Is Barbie really 43 years old already? Then she really is too old to be so young and beautiful. The line about Barbie's affair with Han Solo that produced Skipper, her secret daughter, was the best part. Brittany again was helped by cast members Amy and Kattan to do an acceptable job but looked at the cue cards a little too much.

Best Line: "I don't want you to make the same mistakes like I made." Barbie. "Barbie, I am nothing like you!" Skipper. "You are just like me Skipper, you are my daughter!" Barbie. "What did you say?" Skipper. "Well Skipper, Skipper, I'm, I'm your mother." Barbie. "No you are not! You're my sophisticated older sister Barbie." Skipper. "Honey I know it has always been Skipper, she's Barbie's little sister, Barbie's kid sis Skipper, but you are old enough to know now, I'm your mother. Haven't ever wondered why we look so much alike, and why we're both double-jointed (both swing their legs in a 360 degree angle)." Barbie. 

Grade: B+

 

JARRET'S ROOM: Seth Myers again is the DJ with the English accent from Michigan. Gobi returns in his drugged out glory. The mistake with the t-shirt about Osama Bin Laden was funny. Gobi finally gets a girlfriend with Brittany as Summer who also is also drugged-out. The hidden camera showing Jeff Richards shows once again in his briefed glory professing love for Kurt Warner was hilarious. Usually I have not liked these sketches as aforementioned in a previous review because they let Horatio chew up the scenery too much about his drug use until it is not funny anymore. This time they reined him in along with some great lines making this one of the most enjoyable Jarret's Room in a long time for me.

Best Lines: "Hey dude, dude if you are from England what is the Queen's name?" Jarret. "She's the Queen of England." Jonathan Feinstein. "No what's her name?" Jarett. "Latifah?" Jonathan. "I thought so!" Jarret.

"Last week me and Gobi got this great idea for t-shirts, and we are going to make a killing dude." Jarrett. "Check it out!" Gobi. "Dude, what is this? They were supposed to say Down with Osama Bin Laden." Jarrett. "That is what they say." Gobi. "Dude look." Jarret (holds up t-shirt to camera that says "Let's Get Down With Osama Bin Laden.")

"Hey Summer I just got Willy Wonka on DVD." Gobi. "My Dad's in the Navy." Summer. "For you at home, pay close attention. If you look carefully you will notice that Gobi and Summer can carry on an entire conversation, and neither of them has any idea what the other one is saying." Jarret.     

Grade: A

 

CAMP X-RAY: A detainment facility in Cuba advertised as a Caribbean paradise not an inhumane American imprisonment? I guess if Dick Cheney likes it then it must be paradise on wheels. I guess the government would do a commercial like this to stop any bad press about this place. Okay commercial and short.

Best Line: "We can pray and eat fruit loops." Prisoner (see a gun poking the prisoner from the backside.) "The Caribbean breezes are intoxicating, and you do not get raped." Prisoner.

Grade: B-

 

MARTHA STEWART: Ana does her great Martha Stewart, but this time behind a desk to probably hide her bulging tummy. Martha has lots of products that she sells through Kmart that has now gone bankrupt. Making fun of that full of herself Martha is always good in my book. 

Best Lines: "And of course I would never go into business with Target, unless they were to contact me at Martha Stewart Omnimedia at 212-55-0199. I am in every day from 5:00 am to midnight." Martha.  

"Read my lips Kmart. I do not tolerate failure, and if I had wanted to spend my life dragging a wounded impotent beast on my back, I would have stayed married." Martha.

GRADE: A      

 

BRITTANY SPEARS: She is doing a ballad, and it appears that she is not lip-synching this time since no dancing is involved in this one. I guess she has a new CD out along with a new movie. This is an okay song, but I have decided not to grade the musical acts since opinions on this are so subjective.

 

WEEKEND UPDATE: Jimmy's hair again looks disheveled, and he messed up his first line. Is it because of his wig in the Jarret's Room sketch? Aren't there hair people there who can fix this quickly before he humiliates himself on national television? 
This was a good Weekend Update again in a mostly good show. Geraldo Rivera returns on WU but with Darrell Hammond not Chris Kattan. He does not look like him but sounds like him, though with a homosexual air to it, along with his gigantic ego. Good impression. Jimmy returns with his songs though he is now a newscaster. They were not too bad but not laugh out loud hilarious. Neil Diamond returns again, and it is one of Will's best impressions. Kattan returns as gay Hitler but now a speedskater with hardly any airtime. Maybe they were running late? 

Best Line: "Cheney's got a bruised lip. Bush has a huge scrape on his face. Aschcroft has burn marks all over him. Tell the truth, do you guys have a fight club? I think that there is a White House fight club (as turned toward Jimmy)." Tina. "Tina, you know the first rule of White House fight club." Jimmy. "I know don't talk about White House fight club." Tina. Jimmy then punches her in the face hard. 

Grade: A-

 

ASTRONAUT JONES DESTINATION MOON: Tracy Morgan gets another starring sketch again. This may become a pattern this season for the first time ever. This kind of has a Star Trek feel to it but with an orchestra band along with it. Not hilarious but at least short. The part in the credits with all Tracey's name including hair and make-up was humorous. Brittany as the alien added nothing.  

Best Line: "What do you say to that brave earthling?" alien Brittany. "Why don't you drop out of that green jumpsuit and show me that fat ass!" Jones. 

Grade: B-

 

FIRST LOOK/DAMN MY DIXIE'S ON FIRE: I guess it was inevitable that Brittany would be part of the Gemini Twins since most of the female hosts with some singing talent get this role. This time they have a movie coming out with a funny title hence their Civil War dresses. Maybe they are wearing these big poof skirts to hide Ana's pregnancy again? Will as the director name Spuzz Director was good as was Kattan as Brian Grazer the producer who is partners with Ron Howard. The Gemini Twins' homeboy jive in the period piece was humorous for the most part. Finally Rachel as that songwriter Diane Warren who always does songs in all the big blockbuster movies was a good parody. I guess that they were not hiding anything since Ana shows off her pregnant belly in a tight skirt. An okay sketch for the overused recurring Gemini Twins characters. 

Grade: B

 

CHANNEL 9 NEWS MORNING EDITION: What if all hell broke loose during a morning show. First, all of the chairs have been stolen from the building causing the reporters Ana and Will to be dwarfs behind their anchor desk. The inevitable no tape for the story is made fun of here along with typos in the transcript. Will picking his nose thinking he is off camera was comical. Horatio with his weather screen that turns into a tape of monkeys was okay. Not that great but not bad for one of the last sketches. 

Grade: B

 

BRITTANY SPEARS: This song has more of a beat, but is she lip-syncing or not in this one? I cannot tell very well unless it is very obvious. She is not the best singer but can have some entertaining dance moves. Again no grade for this one.

THE LEATHER MAN: Jimmy was suitably creepy as the leather man with his squeaking at every move because of his 100% leather outfit. Jimmy almost lost it like he usually does when he first saw Horatio as Chu-Chu, his helper with that odd pageboy, and after he slapped Horatio who cried very loudly. Dan Ackroyd coming into the sketch with his leather biker outfit was funny on sight along with his noisy hug with Jimmy. Jimmy really lost it this time after whipping Chu-Chu for seemingly pleasuring himself in the dressing room with this leather making lots of noise; however, he regrouped himself just in time, until he finally let out another big smile during his last line. This was a really odd sketch that I strangely liked for some reason. Maybe it shows that Jimmy is not just a pretty-boy but can actually do some character comedy. Good for the last sketch of the night.     

Best Line: "Chu-Chu what are you doing (after hearing strange noise coming from him behind a dressing room with his leather like he is pleasuring himself)!" Leather Man. Then he whips him again.

Grade: A-

 

POSTSHOW THOUGHTS: The show was better than I predicted, but it was not because of Brittany's great comic talent but because of better writing by SNL and good support from the cast. I think that this is February sweeps so I guess the writers had more pressure to do a good show with more recurring characters; however, they balanced it with new sketches that were funny unlike the Gwyneth Paltrow episode with too many recurring sketches. Brittany just acted as herself throughout the whole show, but most the sketches did not star her to make up for her lack of comedic skills.   

 

OVERALL SHOW GRADE: A-

MY SHOW RANKINGS SO FAR THIS SEASON:
1)Sean William Scott/Sum 41
2)Brittany Spears
2)Billy Bob Thorton/Creed
3)John Goodman/Ja Rule
4)Jack Black/The Strokes
4)Gwenyth Paltrow/Ryan Adams
5)Hugh Jackman/Mick Jagger
6)Derek Jeter/Shakira/Bubba Sparxxx
7)Josh Hartnett/Pink
8)Ellen Degeneres/No Doubt
9)Reese Witherspoon/Alicia Keyes
8)Drew Barrymore/Macy Gray


Episode Review written by Remidoes


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