Britney Spears
February 2, 2002

Hello hello hello! It's time to get goating! Ever had goat cheese? I tried it a little while ago, tastes great on italian bread with fried eggplant. Anyhoo, here we go!

Pre show thoughts:

So I'm sitting in a chalet up near Tremblant (because that is the best place to ski in eastern Canada which, I am assuming you have guessed, is where I live) and I'm thinking, "How the hell do I persuade a bunch of drunks to watch SNL?" because you see, we were partying pretty hard this past weekend. Well, sure enough I have only to tell them Brittany is on and voila! She is a hit even though I hate her singing! And now, for the review!

Cold Opening: "Ski With Dan Akroyd!"- Amy, Dan Akroyd, Will, Maya, Seth

So, why is it called a cold opening again? I seriously can't remember. Anyways, the sketch had me laughing, Amy's face is so funny! She has this "what the @#$%! look on it almost constantly and God it's great! This sketch was even better because of its utter originality and Dan Akroyd was in it. I do believe.... I Goat of Merit is in store for his guest appearance! As for the skit, I will have to give it...   42 Goats

Monologue- Brittany Spears, Chris

Well I'll be sidegated! Kattan sure had me fooled! I was thinking, Why the hell is Brittany's head down? thinking it was some sort of "look at me I can walk out on SNL and have my head down cause I'm so damn good-syndrome" but wow it was effective! The guest appearance of Justin Timberlake was expected but well handled. God Kattan is great! Timberlake sucks at acting, but hey he gave it a shot! As for Brittany, good speech, nice and short, nice boobs (ahhh, did I say that out loud!?) and I'm sorry but Kattan's moves were far better! All in all, a well done monologue.  43 Goats

Commerical-"Loosebear" Amy, Ana

Such a great commerical, but I've already seen it! Sorry SNL, that won't cut it! Still, I was pratically vomiting and convulsing from laughing so hard so I'll let you get away with     39 Goats

Brian Fellows Safari Planet- Tracy, Brittany, Derek

Such a great skit, and is Tracy wearing some glossy stuff on his lips or is that just me?! Ok, the bunny thing was great, Brittany's little southern accent worked well but the DONKEY was great! Yeah donkey! Where the hell do you get a donkey in New York City in FEBRUARY!? SNL knows how to do it! Ok, so the sketch can be a little long, but it was a well recieved one and I haven't see it for ages so I say...    40 Goats

Barbie and Skipper-Amy, Brittany, Kattan

I have to say this was very good. I missed the beginning because some of my buds were watching two guys kick the living daylights out of each other (on TV) but the amazing thing was I caught onto the Barbie ploy the second I flipped back to NBC. This means the skit was very well presented. Amy is so damn funny! The bangs! The brush! The dimensions! The leg thing was really too funny. Several of the more drunk of my crowd almost had heart attacks at that stunt. And Brittany certainly "filled" the part well so to speak. The Barbie-Skipper mother-daughter reunion was so funny. Yeah power ranger action figures! Yeah Kattan as gay Ken!! Yeah...          44 Goats!

Jarett's Room- Jimmy, Brittany, Seth, Jeff, Horatio

Is it just me or does Jimmy's DJ keep on changing nationality? Ok, missed the beginning of this one too, but no prob. Horatio is such a great installment on this skit! The huge "Super Bowl" thing got several of my company (the shall we say, more "enlightened" ones) laughing hysterically and Brittany played a great dumb-ass hippy! Yeah Jeff for being the average dirt ball roomate! I loved the conversation Brittany and Horatio had, much like the one I was having at the time with several of my friends! So, to sum up this skit,        42 Goats

Camp X-Ray- Horatio, Darell

Eat this USA! What a bomb! Hey, in totally unSNL related news, what do you think of the Canadians handing over the Afgan soldiers to the USA without the Geneva convention understanding? Probably not as bad as BUSH causually forgetting to mention Canada in his POS speech!! Oh well, these aren't politics, we'll leave that to Tina Fey...       39 Goats

Martha Steward- Ana

On of my favs.  Ana does the perfect bitchy Martha we all know and love. Lets see, K-mart going down, cheap slave labour becoming too expensive, Martha mad.... this skit had it all! The funniest part, "I can't go to Sears, I have no 'softer side.'" This was too short, Ana can really rant on and on if you let her. Still, a worthy      42 Goats 

Musical Guest-Brittany Spears

Oh, what a nice song to sing. What's up with her dress, need some Bounce there Brittany? I shouldn't be mean, she has a nice (ugh.) voice. I am SOO HAPPY NBC didn't try to put one up on me again! No Budweiser! Good NBC, you are learning from your deadly and evil mistakes. As with all musical guests, I don't rate with Goats (but maybe with tomatoes and certain flavours of pie...)

Weekend Update- Tina, Jimmy, Darell, Will, Kattan

Jimmy what the heck!? Oh well, we all have our days. Tina, get those cue card people to change the card BEFORE you start! Oh well, we all have our days. Ok, White house administration Fight Club a great joke, Geraldo was funny though sorta long, the statue thing was really necessary. Too bad it's probably true... The best joke; female viagra sends Christian Agularia's vagina into time travel. I died several little deaths (haha, Shakespeare fans will love that one) over that. Jimmy's Neil Diamond impression was splendid and Will's was even better but Gay Speedskating Hitler was a crowd stopper! In total, a well-earned     43 Goats

Space Adventure- Tracy, Brittany

So from the 50's. Do you hear what I hear? Dan Akroyd's voice! Haha, hoho, that was funny. Brittany sure has huge boobs! Sorry to mention that, but unfortunatly the skit really didn't have much else to look at.            39 Goats

HBO- Gemini's Twin "Damn My Dixie"- Ana, Maya, Brittany, Will, Kattan, Rachel

This Gemini's Twin thing rocks. You just had to know they'd do it with Brittany. The whole dress spin was great though. Dijonaise is such a great name for Brit! My fav part, tear-away old-fashioned POS dresses. And of course Ana's fatal battle with the violin. Well done...    43 Goats

9 News Morning Edition- Will, Ana, Horatio, Amy

Oh this was a delight! The whole thing starts off so well, no chairs, no tape feed, union stabs here and there. Then, Ana eats a sandwich, Will picks his nose, they make out, Amy goes into negative vision, Horatio critiques two weathering monkies, classic SNL.      42 Goats

Musical Guest- Brittany Spears

She's a slave for you. And so is her cheap costume designer, cheap hooker dancers, cheap male hooker dancers and not-good-enough-to-be-shown (poor lads) band guys. I'm not being mean, I'm not being mean...

The Leather Man- Jimmy, Brittany, Horatio, Dan!!

Lets see, biker movie hits Rocky Horror, perfectly done. Horatio as little leather slave was pretty funny, especially when he was playing with his leather in the change rooms! Jimmy's accent was the kind you hear when a guy who smells of vasaline and listerine walks into a corner store and buys a carton of Green Death. The highlight, seeing Brittany in leather and Jimmy causually grabbing her breast (yes, we see you Jimmy, but the virgins don't!) Also, Dan Akroyd was so hilarious! Well done,       42 Goats

OK, the part were I tally up the score and you are all edged on your seat wondering if I'll deduct any Goats this time... Nope.

Subtotal:      42 Goats

Goats of Merit/Deduction      +1 Goat

Total Score:                          43 Goats!!

Funny, it was great but I never thought it would be 43 Goats of great! Oh well, here are some more tid bits I would be remiss to leave out:

Award for Funniest Cast Member: Amy

Award for best line: "I have no softer side" Ana in Martha Steward skit

Award for best Skit: Barbie and Skipper- Family Matters meets Degrassi High 

Award for best hair: Brittany Spears (she feels left out.)

Well, that's that for my review! Remember, eat veggies or watch SNL because at least one of them has to be good for you!

See you in March! (what's up with that anyway!?)

Episode Review written by John Goat

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