Britney Spears
February 2, 2002


Pre-show thoughts: Ok we get it. Britney Spears, (B.S., no considence)is "not that innocent", "not a little girl anymore", shes "crazy", and she wants to be hit. I'd hit her, personally. I want her to go away. I don't want her to die, I just want her to go away. Dont get me wrong, I'm not one of those girls that are like jealous of her or anything. But c'mon. I think I have a right to not like her w/o people assuming that I'm jealous. I don't like Ellen, but I'm not jealous of her! My friend Jen (who also does reviews) and I were talking, and my mom saw the IM. She said "What? Lorne's letting the Skank host?!" If Britney kisses Jimmy...ooh, I'll hit the TV...I swear I will. HaHa..oh! Ana Gastyer's pregnant! Yay! The baby's due in June! This is SNL's first pregnancy during a full season. Congrats to Ana!

Opener: Wow. This doesn't look fake. Seth & Amy are really gettin their camera time arent they! I'm so happy that some first timers are saying Live from NY! This is Seth's first time!
Best Line: "Live from New York, it's Saturday Night!"
Overall Rating: 10! (If it's a cast member's 1st time, its automatically a 10!)

Monolauge: When I was watching this I was like "why is her head down?" but then it was Kattan! YAY! Finally! Someone made fun of her in front of her! Eww sick. What is with that shirt? She looks like a Barbie! You know, those old school Barbies. I think I had one called "Sun Sensation", that had that same shirt on. I'm totally serious! Justin and Britney aren't really good actors. They should both just stick to singing. Justin has the girliest voice. And Britney's accent is getting thick then thin then thick then thin...pay attn. it is! I'm glad Justin's hair is grown back. He looks better this way. Hes not cute yet. But he looks better. Good lord this sketch looked so planned. I know it was, but still. It looked too planned. When Britney did her little dance it looked like she was trying to be Shakira by doing her little belly dance.
Best Line: "I'd like to announce that I'm not a virgin anymore"
Overall Rating: 6

Commercial-Loose Bear: The can kinda looks like a Slim-Fast can! Doesn't it? Ana looks like a mom. She'll be a good one I bet. When Amy's getting attacked by the bear, she kinda looks like shes on the Blair Witch Project!
Best Line: "I just got the crap scared out of me"
Overall Rating: 7

Brian Fellow's Sufari Planet: He doesn't sound as gay tonight! Oh wait. Now he does! LOL! I love Brian Fellow! It always looks like he has lipgloss on! Am I the only one who thinks so? Britney's thing is so forced. "Welcome Barbra" LOL! Yay! Dean's back! Hehe my name's Jessie! He says that they're not related, but I dont know. His friend Jessie may be a jackass :) I like Dean in this sketch. He seems like a good kid.
Best Line: "I am sorry about that. It is completely inexcuseable! Someone gonna loose they job that. And I mean this."
Overall Rating: 8

Barbie's Dream House: Look at the Big Brush. I love those big brushes. Look at Britney's arms. Now look at Amy's arms. Ok there she goes. She just remembered to put her arms straight. Finally someone makes fun of how gay Ken is. (lol) And finally they make fun of Barbie! I mean, the girl's had about 2,000 different jobs!
Best Line: "Queen!"
Overall Rating: Ouch...3

Jarret's Room: Aww Jimmy's so cute when he's Jarret. Sorry, but he is. I love that song that DJ Jonathan plays! Not the Frasier one, but the one thats like "La la la la la la la la" It's awesome! When he asked what the Queen's name was, I thought he was going to say "Mum". I wonder what the smoke's from. I mean, it's not real smoke. The T-Shirts are hilarious! Why is Jarret's dad gonna kill him? When Gobie was playin with "the super bong", it looked like it was all improv., and Jimmy was really laughin at Horatio. A good Sketch. I liked it.
Best Line: "You are a Lucky man Gobie, a Lucky Lucky man"
Overall Rating: 8

Camp X-Ray: Seriously? Is that it? Is that Camp X-Ray? It's nice for terrorists!
Best Line: "We get to pray and eat fruit loops"
Overall Rating: 2...owie

Martha Stuart: Yay Martha Stuart! I love when Ana does her! This seemed like Martha was a wee bit mad. But hey, she has a right to be. Martha, not Ana. It just seems like this is a Hillary+Martha+that one lady with all the makeup involved with the elections. I forgot her name, and frankly, I dont really care :) I loved where she said her items are the only ones in the store with out Nascar stuff on them!
Best Line: "You can kiss my big pink rump goodbye"
Overall Rating: 5

*Weekend Update*: Aww! Jimmy! Babe! Cut your hair! Youre adoreable, but please. It was so much cuter when u had it short and messy! He has the same hairstyle as my friend Abi Walters! He still looks like a cutie though. LoL if you listen to him, he says Nevada like "NeVAHda" instead if the way I say it "NeVYAHda"...Sorry Michigan thing. Anyway. I totally agree with what Tina said. What IS with this administration? Cuts? Fat Lips? Burn Marks? White House Fight Club, definately. Wow. That punch looked real. Oh my god you guys. I think I'm actually getting obsessed with Jimmy Fallon. I mean, if I think he looks cute when he throws a punch, I think thats a problem. (For me not him) Anyways, back to the review. Oh! I hate Fear Factor. That's my biggest fear too. Does anyone think that Chickelina looks like a man? I think its a big old shemale... Woah! Seth popped out of nowhere! ...And there he goes again. Why isn't Chris Kattan doing Geraldo? LOL, I loved when he said "It's an err! or in the tour of terror, thats what we call a terror error." He reminded me of my oldest stepbrother Rob when he did that. No idea why. I loved also when he said "They're thinking of renaming this place to Geraldo-you-sexy-man-ville." Yeah, sure. I'd like to live in Jimmy-you-sexy-man-ville. (A joke. haha) Oh what was with that Will Smith joke? "Are you going to eat the rest of that" or something? I didn't get it. I saw that thing about the statue on the Daily Show. Speaking of which, Jon should host SNL one of these days. It would be as funny as when Ray Ramano hosted..which btw was great! Oh. My. Goodness. I would LOVE to be in that audience. Jimmy had to change! U know he probably didn't hide because it's just his shirt. Is that his suit jacket? It looks to me like a black carnigan. If it is, I want it! It's nice! lol I love his song! "Aint no homeys, Play Hockey, if its below 30, you can bite me!" That Skeleton thing actually sounds really really fun. DUDE! Here com! es Neil Diamond! I love that song he sings. I bet...yep heres gay Hitler! I knew it! lol! Thats why Darrell was Geraldo! Darrell does such a great job with voices! Speed Skating Gay Hitler! LOL!
Best Line: "The people are following me around chanting 'Geraldo, Bum Buy Ay, Geraldo, Bum Buy Ay,' which means 'Geraldo, you sexy sexy man'."
Overall Rating: 10

Destination Moon Astronaut Jones: I like his Space Phone! It looks like a rocket! Britney looks like Judy Jetson. Doesn't she? When she was saying all that and he was like "say what?" "Stay word" and stuff, he looked like my friend Cordae!
Best Line: "Stay word"
Overall Rating: 3..because it was so short. no wait. A 5!

HBO first look- Gemini's Twin: When this sketch first started, I was like "The TPT's with britney!" Because she could so play a TPT. But then I remembered the commercial with Gemini's Twin coming up when I was watching Will & Grace. In that picture Britney Spears looks like Scary Spice! I actually love those dresses. Maya's was my favorite. I love their agent guy whos being the Wigger...hes acting like some people who go to my school. Ungawa is actually kinda a cool name. She's deaf but she can still hear? Oh and sing, I see. Smart girls, those Gemini Twins. That's actually a good character for Rachel Dratch. I'm not starting to hate her as much. I saw her on Rosie O'Donnell and she seemed pretty nice. That's actually a really cool song. Maya's voice sounds like that girl from the group Aqua.
Best Line: "Hippa Poppa Epica"
Overall Rating: 6

Morning News: Kathy Carlson? We have a lady here name Kelsey Carlson! This actually reminds me of Morning Latte. I like Amy's hair when she does that yellow teeth bit. See Ana eating that sandwitch? I'm glad they finally made fun of that too. I've always wondered what they do when the camera's on the other person/ people. Will picking his nose...he'd do that. I'd love to meet him.
Best Line: "Disney land I go poo poo" Boobie Cancer? LOL
Overall Rating: 6

Good Show. I was suprised though. I didn't think it would be as good. Did you hear who Britney thanked though? "Justin Timberlake and Dan Aykroyd". Not the Cast? Not Lorne? Not the Crew? Not the audience? When I host the show, I'm going to be like "I want to thank the scrumtrelecent crew, cast, and Lorne! I want to also thank the audience and everyone watching at home for staying up so late! Now go to bed!" And after she performed, she like smiled and licked the microphone. I seriously thought Britney was going to kiss Jimmy in like Wakeup Wakefield though. Hey we need a Mango and a Wakeup Wakefield soon!

Thanks for reading my eposode review! This is Jess loggin off, Lates!


Episode Review written by Jess Alexander


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