Hi, I'm Jordan Davidson, and I think it's gonna be a long long time, till touchdown brings me round again to find, I'm not the man they think I am at home, oh no no no, I'm a rocket man, ROCKET MAN, burning out his fuse up here alone.
In case you missed it, I attended the Elton John concert at Toronto's Air Canada Centre on Saturday, and suffice it to say, he rocked the bloody house. Even Paul and Adam "Kangaroo" Grunstein, pals who went with me, seemed to be impressed enough despite not knowing most of the songs. Paul even downloaded about seven Elton MP3's when him and I got back to his room at Seneca College. And this guy was a member of the exclusive "El Dorado has no plot-o" club in Orangeville. That's how addictive Elton is.
Before I talk about the concert, I'll just take a moment to remind you that the review is down there somewhere and if you want to skip this write-up, go ahead and scroll down. Also, I want to do a side-critique on the new album, Songs from the West Coast. To be blunt, you will not find one bad song on the album. I received it in the mail literally minutes before I left on my bus to the concert, and got in three listens on my way to Paul's apartment. After those three listens, it was like I'd known the songs all my life. It's like a greatest hits album in disguise. As for the best song, there are four songs I'm having trouble choosing from. I Want Love, American Triangle, Original Sin, and Ballad of the Boy in the Red Shoes. Suffice it to say, if you're not an Elton fan now, this album will be the one to hook you.
What I'll do now is post the setlist and tell you the cool stories along the way. Also, songs from the new album will be marked with a +.
Funeral for a Friend/Love Lies Bleeding
Someone Saved My Life Tonight
Bennie and the Jets
+Ballad of the Boy in the Red Shoes
Rocket Man (extended)
(Gotta Get A) Meal Ticket
+I Want Love (accompanied on the big screen with the Robert Downey Jr. video)
Take Me To The Pilot
Mona Lisa's and Mad Hatters - Right before this song, Elton called his guitarist, Davey Johnstone over, and they had a short conversation away from the mikes. After keeping the crowd in suspense for a while, Elton announced that they were going to do a song for New York City, to a roarous applause. He had been in New York earlier in the week for appearances on Letterman and Live with Regis and Kelly, and felt it would be wrong not to mention anything. He also put it quite surely that "we'll get those bastards in the end," to another huge ovation. By the end of this song, I was a smidge misty. This was just cool.
Levon (also pretty extended)
+American Triangle (a wonderful tribute to murdered homosexual student Matthew Shepard)
+Original Sin (quite possibly the #2 single from the album, according to Elton)
I'm Still Standing
The Bitch is Back (my theme song, according to Matt Schroeder)
Saturday Night's Alright (For Fighting)
Believe (which is a completely different song from Cher's, despite popular belief)
Don't Let The Sun Go Down on Me
After "Don't Let the Sun," he stopped and signed some things for the people in the front row as the band left the stage, then to just about everyone's surprise, when he was done, he stepped back to the piano, and announced "I wasn't planning on doing another song, but I'm having a ball." He then ended the show with "Candle in the Wind."
All in all, this was cool, for a lot of reasons, first off all, that he managed to work in a few songs that weren't necessarily big hits but were personal faves of mine (Roy Rogers, Country Comfort, Meal Ticket). Secondly, the sound was excellent.. We were on the balcony directly across from the stage, and it was still so loud I could barely hear myself singing along. And thirdly, it was Elton fricking John! I've finally fulfilled dream #1 in this life, although the front row would have been sweet. Dream #2: meeting him and "accidentally" slipping some lyrics into his pocket, thus being set for life.
So that's the Elton story, and I'm sticking to it. Hopefully I can do that sometime again. Now, as a tribute, I'll be introducing the sketches with lines from Elton John songs, and what you can do is go ahead and try to guess which song each line is from. (Some may be a bit more obvious than you think) Then when Matt Schroeder wins, I'll just go ahead and post his name along with the answers in my next review.
And with that, I begin.
I've seen Mr. Scott in movies such as American Pie, Dude, Where's My Car, and Evolution, and while I liked the movies, I was pretty indifferent to his performance in particular. He's a funny guy whom the camera seems to love, however, and I thought he'd do a good job.
Sum 41 seems to be more popular every day, although I can't see why, considering they really haven't done anything special. The songs are pretty okay, though, although I'm hard pressed to find an Elton song that I wouldn't rate higher than Fat Lip or In Too Deep. Speaking of those two, they were my predictions for what they'd play. And I was right. Yay me.
You'd Better Think Twice, You'd Better Believe It's An Act
*Even George W. Bush could beat Osama bin Laden at Scrabble. Then again, Osama probably doesn't know enough English to know that "subliminable" should probably be challenged.
*I was hoping a "beard-off" would involve ripping off his beard and strangling him with it.
*Cool how they basically kept the same Bush character and still made it work.
Well There's Some Pretty Young Ladies and (Semen in the) Beer
in the Rear (End?):
*America does rule. Except in the NBA. Go Raptors!
*If you have any lip reading children in the house, DO NOT show them the silent film clip.
*Woodrow Wilson was President in 1918, not Warren G. Harding. Get it right, moron.
*Probably half of my laughs for this episode came during this monologue.
I Just Sit And Play My Radio In The Parking Lot:
*So Law and Order has a few spinoffs: WE GET IT!
*I laughed at the few of the lines, but the premise was just a lost cause.
Looks Like The Fools In Fashion:
*Every time the host could look like a flaming homosexual by any stretch of the imagination, they have to do this, don't they? No matter how bad it is, they must feel pretty hard pressed.
*The upside of Elton returning to SNL: He'd be in a Mango sketch. The downside: He'd be in a Jeffrey's sketch, too.
Bring Your Family Down To The RIVERSide:
*If anyon ever asks me "who" I'm wearing, I will punch them in the face. Assuming they still have a face. So Joan Rivers is safe, I guess.
*Garry Shandling and Calista Flockhart could become a threesome and still wouldn't be Hollywood's heaviest item.
*Kid Rock's tattoo says "Paul," not "Kid." Pamela Anderson's tongue must work wonders.
You're Taking In The Face of a Rifle BUTT While The Wardens
Hold You Down:
*I'm surprised Beavis and Butt-head never thought of the "Baked Lays" line. They would have had a field day with that.
*My mom has a family tree program with searchable info from old censuses and stuff, and trust me, there were much worse surnames out there than "Butt."
*Horatio's character gets funnier every time, but unforunately, it's about the only funny thing about the sketch.
Move That Muscle And Shake That FAT, Bite Your LIP:
*Not too bad, but I'd be asking Blink 182 where they were that night.
Blink 182: I'll have you know we were running through a video naked.
I'll take your word.
*By the way, Blink 182 + Sum 41 = Bum Slink 223. It's a little known fact that a Bum Slink 223 is some kind of kinky walking spring.
I Pulled Out My Stage Coach Times And I Read The Latest News:
*Ireland had good recipes?
*The racial profiling commentary and the McGwire story made me realize something. McGwire thinks the home run race was rigged in an attempt to diss McGwire because he's green.
*October 7, 1995: Lorne said Chevy owes him 7 more shows. Inclusive, this is show #6 for him since. Do you think once he gets that monkey off his back, he'll be free to make good entertainment again?
Overwear, Underwear, Anytime, Anywhere:
*Two shoes, two bare asses. I don't like this fad.
*Will Ferrell is a very hairy man.
*The underwear wasn't as bad as my Canada bra... nd hat, er, my Canada brand hat. Whew, perfect save.
Erotic, Sexy, Classic:
*This is back?
*After a sub-par first and second showings of the sketch, the third time was a charm (w/ Drew Barrymore, March 20, 1999). Fourth time, however, is back to its mediocrity. This time it was like it had the struggles of a new sketch all over again.
*If those two are Laverne and Shirley, hopefully they'll drive off a cliff with this sketch.
I'm a Super Power, I'm a "Handey" Man:
*The novel was a cool sight, but the joke didn't seem to be of the same standards that Jack usually fulfills.
We've Buried Our Feelings a Little TOO DEEP in the Ground:
*This was still a fine beat, but it got boring and repetitive after a while.
My Promise To All My People Who Have Trusted Me, The Gods Will
Approve Of Us Still:
*Only an approval centre such as this would approve of such a sketch. How ironic.
Where Sex and Love No Longer Gel:
*I've seen this sketch five years ago on the Jerry Springer show. Didn't care for it then and I don't care for it now.
Through It All There'd Always Be Tomorrow's Episode:
Overall, there were some very weak spots, to be expected in a second show, although I don't believe that jinx has been in effect in recent years. This week, the show nets a possibly generous C.
Next week (assuming America's retaliation doesn't have anything to do with it), Drew Barrymore will host, and a reference to the infamous non-wedding, and possibly an appearance from Tom Green are almost inevitable. Last time she put on a good show, though, so I'll hope the show focuses more on her and not her "special" husband. Also, Macy Gray will be the musical guest, and Matt Schroeder will be in pop music heaven while I'm mentally picturing Elton John.
Before I sign off, I want to send my best wishes to Mark Polishuk, whose dog may have to be put to sleep after breaking his hip. I know how much Mark loved that dog, and actually got to meet it when I was in London visiting him in April. I know losing a pet is one of the most underrated pains in life, but I've lost at least five (including a guinea pig on the morning of my 11th birthday), and my current dog isn't exactly the healthiest animal in the world, so I know the sting. So Mark, whatever happens, hopefully you'll be okay soon, and I look forward to your (U2-concert-laden) review next week.
Until my own review next week, this is Jordan "Still Giddy Like a Teenage Girl" Davidson, saying "Elton rules!"
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