Gwyneth Paltrow / Ryan Adams
November 10, 2001


Howdy Y'all! The Doctor is back, and he's ready for some more sketch slinging! You may have noticed that my review is bigger than it should be, this is because of the fact that I'm writing on hotmail.com now. Which is good, because they have a "highlighter" so I could gouge your attention on certain things as I write. For Example:

SEX
BOOZE
HOMER
WAR
BUSH
BEEF, etc.


Don't ask me why I picked those words, this was just an example. Anyway, I gotta talk about something that I have noticed in my reviews, the fact that I don't give enough info. Like many things, there's a good explanation for this, 1. Other people want the computer, so this kinda makes me rush up on some reviews. 2. Loss of Creativity, I pretty much lay out the best part of my review in my forword. (This section) And 3. Lack of good sketches, Why write about them if they're so bad?

Unlike tonight, when this show was actually above average. And therefore, worth writing about. So, without further interuption, here's the Doc's Diagnosis...
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Nobody understands him, not even the Taliban!...

OK, so Bush is a dumbass again, Big Deal! Imagine if that Arabic Subtitling was real, and it was misinterpreted? Then we would be in deep S*^&! "Bushie" was his usual self, and I'm suprised that he could talk in arabic at the end. Getting back to the point, the character of "Bush" should always be played out as an ass, cause it's only good humored fun they're having. I don't care how the real "bush" should be, they started with him being an ass, they should have him do it for the long run.

Diagnosis: B-
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Watch your back, You're in Gwennith Country!...

This would be her 2nd official show, and third apperance. And man, can she and Maya let out a tune or what? This kinda made me expect to see a "Gemini's Twin" sketch later. (Actually, Sean's spoilers kinda let me know that already.) T'was good.

Diagnosis: A+
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(As JFK) I, ur, uh, like these guys...

Of course, I'm refering to Sully and "Zazoo". Vodka buns sound nasty, but by the time you eat them all, it won't even matter. I almost expected to see "Ben Whofleck" show up, but that's another story. 'Gwen' couldn't do a Bostonian accent if her life depended on it. And Horatio is playing a (Suprise!) DRUNK GUY! The only thing good about this is Jimmy and Drach. Other than that, it just ain't worth it.

Diagnosis: C-
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That was very bootyful...

Ah yes, the flexible ones. Is it just me, or does Ana look like she's way too old to be a singer. (Then again, the Beastie Boys are pushing 40, and they're still busting a rhyme or two.) Harmony is good in small doses, but too much of it could result in shattered windows, or seizures. It's the same stuff I've seen in any of those GT sketches. But at least they didn't use Jimmy as "Carson Daly" this time.

Diagnosis: B-
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(INSERT SNOB COMMENT HERE)

This sketch ties for my new "Oy, Vey of the day" award. (The 2nd one comes next) I'm sorry, but if I wanted to watch a bunch of rich snots with nothing better to do than to go back and forth about what they do on their free time, I'd be watching Charlie Rose!

Diagnosis: F
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OY, VEY, ANIMATED!

6 years it has been since we've seen this guy. And 6 years later, he's still at it! There's nothing much to say about it really, except... BURN IN HELL!!!

Diagnosis: F
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Ooh, an unknown, Let's watch from afar so we don't scare it away!

The unknown in question is Ryan Adams, and I was going into a cardiac arrest when I saw what he had on... It was the exact same thing that I was wearing that same night. I swear to god, NO Bull-s*&$! I had to check this guy out, even though I can't review musical guests. He had a good sound, and I wish him all the best.
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Where the fake news comes first!...

My day isn't complete without a daily serving of news, chock full of red Tina's and green Jimmy's in new "Update crunch"... OK, I didn't have breakfast yet, so shoot me! Great update, Giulianni was great, but the best part has to be the Cartoonist. The way that Jimmy freaks out is better than Colin Quinn's weak ol' way. Struck gold once again.

Diagnosis: A+
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The angry family strikes again...

At least this was better than that one with SMG, I hear little girls using rap/jive/homey slang all the time. It was just weird seeing them do it. Will Ferrel was the best part: "I RIDE A STATIONARY BIKE!" " I HAVE A COVER OVER MY MITSUBISHI GALLANT!" Etc. Ana looked like she wan't even trying.

Diagnosis: B-
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(INSERT MANGO COMMENT HERE)

Well, how do ytou like that? Mango was actually with a woman in his life. Even though he's (Supposedly) married. Here's the big question, in one sketch, he wanted to get his hands of Matt Damon, but now he's acting like Matt Damon is dirt! Why does mango always have to mindscrew with anyone in his way? Anyway, the Musical part kinda blew it, I hated Grease! I did like the fact that 'Gwen' can't keep track of who she dated.

Diagnosis: C-
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!Telemundo es terrible! (I can't do the ! mark upside down)

I don't know if you know about this, but NBC just recently bought out the "T" from Sony. Which means what? "El noche con Jay Leno"? (THE TONIGHT SHOW) "Amigos"? (FRIENDS) "El Doctors"? (ER) It's 12: 50, they probably won't give a damn about what they're doing anyway. Horatio es "muy loco". y Maya es no "Charro". (I flunked Spanish, I don't even know it anymore!)

Diagnosis: D+
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Overall Prescription: Get Michael Jackson's Monkey off your back!

Next week I turn 17, and we see Mr Slingblade, Billy Bob Thornton Until next time, "THE DOCTOR IS OUT"


Episode Review written by Dr. Theodore J Fugelheimerson


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