Gwyneth Paltrow / Ryan Adams
November 10, 2001

My Score System:
5: Classic Sketch
4 1/2: Really really good sketch.
4: Tight
3 1/2: Nice
3: Average
2 1/2: Bellow Average
2: Sucked
1: Totally Wack

The Intro:
You know what really pisses me off (and it shouldn't) is when people get their facts wrong on SNL (and other things) and when you try to correct them they look at you as if you are the one that's wrong and not them. I know this shouldn't piss me off, I really don't care actually, but it just annoys the hell out of me. Like this kid that has his own SNL Website.... the name of his site is called "SNL Biography & Information Center" or whatever the hell it's called (I hope he reads this). It's nothin' but a guy who just rips off everything from Sean Bradly's site (this is the best SNL fan site out there so you know people with other sites are gonna bite him)....but the bad thing is that this guy has like 100,000 mistakes on his site (oh and it's not just his site too, other sites just say off the
wall stuff too). He says things like....
1. Molly Shannon was the first and only female to get her own "Best Of" tape.
What I Have To Say:  Gilda had hers out first.
2. Tina Fey is the first female to do update.
What I Have To Say: What about Jane Curtin? She did WU right after Chevy.
Hey, now I was just a little baby in the late 70's & Early 80's so most
of my knowledge from past episodes come from watching re-runs and plus
my Dad used to tape it so I'm not some old guy that's picking on this younger
guy about having his facts wrong. We might be the same damn age. 
3. Dean Edwards came from MadTV.
What I Have To Say: C'mon! MadTV did have a lot of black comedians on the
show but Dean wasn't one of them.  Jeff Richards was the one that came
from MadTV! He was only on it for like 2 or 3 episodes as a featured
player and I remember him. He did an impression of David Letterman and
that fat guy that lost a lot of weight Will Sasso did Paul Shaffer.
They must be mistaking Dean for Phil LaMarr. Heck, knowing this guy
he might have thought Orlando Jones was Dean Edwards.
4. Hugh Fink is the only jewish writer ever on SNL.
What I Have To Say: At least he changed this. Someone might have told his
no researching doing ass that he wasn't. He might have been the only one
for the 2000-2001 season, but he isn't the first and damn sure not the
only. Isn't Al Franken jewish?
I'm guessing, I thought I heard it somewhere before. Just think about this too
SNL had jewish cast members even before Hugh Fink became a damn
5.  Steve Martin was a cast member.
What I Have To Say: Everybody and their mom knows that he wasn't a cast
member. He just hosted a lot of times. He changed this one too, so I guess
someone told him that he's wrong....but I can see where he'd assume this.
I guess he put the ass in assume for this one.
6.  Sarah Silverman, Ben Stiller & Damon Wayans was never on SNL.
What I Have To Say: This didn't come from his site. It was on someone elses
site but it got shut down (good thing too), but actually it was just a message
board about SNL. Some guy in a message named a list of ex SNL players
like those 3 names, and a few others like Robert Downey Jr, Joan Cusack
and Gilbert Godfried (you can tell the guy hasn't seen an episode before
1990 the way he was talking) and then he asked at the end of the list
"I heard these people were on the show, but I never seen them, were
they cast members"? Then this dumb guy replied and said "a lot of people
on your list was never on the show such as.... then he said Sarah Silverman
Ben Stiller & Damon Wayans" and I was like "what!!!" so I made a reply
and corrected him and then he says to me "When was Sarah Silverman ever
on the show!!" I got hot, even though I shouldn't have...c'mon, we've all
seen the footage. Well, at least he acknowledged that Ben Stiller hosted...
but still, this guy gets a slap and the shit face for that one.
There is also plenty of other dumb shit that I heard like Julia Louis-Dryfuss was a featured cast member for one year (3 years as a cast member to be exact), and crap like Ellen Cleghorne was the first black female (I know Danitra Vance is dead, but she did exist, I even taped an episode with her on it), and also other dumb crap. I know it shouldn't make me mad because it's just entertainment and me getting upset over people getting SNL facts wrong are just as bad as these Star Trek fans who get obsessed over the show, but these people should get their facts straight before they run off at the mouth. 
Everyone makes mistakes, I know I sure do (mostly in grammar and spelling) but at least admit you "aren't sure" before you call it "a fact". They should at least check themselves. What I just listed was just a small fraction of the stupid things I hear on these little wack fan sites. <sigh>, well it's just entertainment. The moral of this story is

Now on to the review finally.
Gwenyth Paltrow: I loved it last time she hosted. I bet Gwenyth is a cool person to just
hang out with. She doesn't seem like your ordinary skinny, blonde bomb shell, she
strikes me as the type of person that just doesn't give a f*ck. It's like she seems like
the type of female that might do anything just to get a laugh out of someone and not
act like they are too pretty to put on a damn make up and wig and act "different".
A lot of these actresses act like they are too damn pretty to put on a fake mustache
or nappy wig just to entertain the audience. Just like in Drama Class when I was in
high school. Those girls sit up and talk about how they want to be actresses so
bad, but put a half ass job into the school play and even argue with the teacher
because they don't want to "play that little part" or "put that thing on their face".
Sorry for ranting on like I'm Dennis Miller... but Gwenyth is a good host.
Musical Guest: <shrugs shoulders> sure, yeah, whatever. I bet he's good. I never heard
his stuff, but yeah whatever. Just another bathroom break. Yo', this reminds me
of another thing that got my dander up. Some girl in her review called Ja Rule a
group. He's one damn guy. I know I shouldn't have cared but like I said before
"don't make an ass out of yourself by assuming".

Sketch: George W. Bush
Players: Will Ferrell
What I Have To Say About It: I was expecting this type of intro. I'm surprised this one
had more than just one quote that cought my ear. It's so many that I couldn't get
them all. I liked the little Myth thing and him keep mispronouncing the Koran (I
hope I didn't miss spell it). Another thing that was funny was that he kept saying
spanish numbers as if the people in the middle east speak spanish. I can't remember
but didn't Will say something like "sorry if I said any of your names wrong".
Key Player:  Will Ferrell (who else).
Weakest Link: none
Score: 3.5 (of 5)
Sketch: Monologue
Players:  Gwenyth Paltrow, Maya Rudolph
What I Have To Say About It: I liked it. I'm going to remember this one for
awhile. It just hit me. Not that it was bust your ass funny (because it wasn't) it was
just real entertaining. I didn't know Gwen & Maya were good friends. When
Gwenyth was talking about "I am sooo glad my friend is on the show now" I was
thinking two things "Amy Poehler" or "some character is going to pop out and do
something silly". Then it was "Maya" and I was like "whoa". Then when they
said "we have pictues of us together", I was thinking they were going to show
some fake ass pictures of them posted together so we can laugh, but it was the
real deal. Before Gwenyth said wich one she was I was trying to guess who was
who. I already knew who Maya was as soon as they flashed the pictures. I liked it
"black girl just get the maid roles" joke Maya was using. 
Key Player:  Maya Rudolph (just because she had jokes).
Weakist Link: Gwenyth Paltrow (I still liked it though).
Score:  4 (of 5) not for being funny, but mostly for giving me something new to look at
during the monologue and not the boring same ol' stuff.
Sketch: Sully & Denise
Players: Jimmy Fallon, Rachel Dratch, Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Gwenyth Paltrow,
Horatio Sanz
What I Have To Say About It: Sully & Denise is a hit. I'm starting to like Jimmy
Fallon more and more. I always liked his impressions, but now I'm starting to think
he can do a little more than just "look good for the laddies". I liked the
hot dog buns idea. I bet somewhere in America (like Boston) some under aged
drinker actually makes snacks like this. Jimmy kept the sketch moving. I loved
that. I liked the masturbate jokes. I kept "busying myself". I liked Amy Poehler's
part "I need more cock". Oh shit, I was shocked to see Tina in a sketch other
than Weekend Update. She made some appearances last year when Pierce
Brosnan hosted. I hope she does a recurring character one day. Seeing Tina
do a sketch outside of update is like when Tracy Morgan gets some speaking
roles, I'm like "whhooaaa". Speaking of things that make me say "whoa", I'm
really feeling Rachel Dratch. She has some nice boobs (just had to say it). Now I
know some female viewers reading that are like "he's such a pig" but it's no
different then ya'll sweating Jimmy Fallon's balls every five minutes. At least I
don't comment on how hot I think a female host or cast member looks every
second. Gwenyth didn't make her mark in this sketch. 
Key Player: Jimmy Fallon (for keeping it moving).
Weakest Link: Gwenyth Paltrow
Score: 4.5 (of 5)
Sketch: Gemeni's Twin
Players: Maya Rudolph, Ana Gasteyer, Gwenyth Paltrow, Dean Edwards
What I Have To Say About It: I don't care what you all think, but I say Gemini's
Twin is funny as hell. They could make a movie out of know what I think
would be a good idea for a movie. A mock "E! True Hollywood Story" or
"VH1 Behind The Music" documentary of a fake Music Group, or made up
actor or actress and make it a comedy and then have like real celebs and real
musicians talk about their encounter with that group or whatever. I think it would
be funny as hell. Damn I wish I was a screen writer (I'm working to make that
dream a reality as we speak, unfortunately I'm stuck in the dream stage right
now). That album cover with all of them with the phat asses on the cover was
bananas. America is "Bootyfull". Those fake music video's are fun to watch too.
Maya Rudolph needs to drop what she's doing, go to the lab, and make a comedy
album. Those words they make up are funny too.  Ana also makes me laugh in this
but she looks a little too old for this sketch though....but Ana is a key ingredient.
I loved it when Ana said "she's sooo white that she makes me look ethnic". 
Another quote that had me rolling was when Maya said "we had to get a new album we could sell it". Maya is quickly becoming one of my favorites. I didn't
like her all too much last year but she is making it happen this season.  Gwenyth
got some better punch lines in this sketch too. Plus she delivered them real good.
Dean didn't mess the sketch up, but he didn't make a good Sway. He looked like
him, but Sway isn't that much charismatic in real life. Actually Sway is a little
more on the dull, boring and dry side. They should make a real album with all
these songs. My favorite ones are "Wack, Wack" & "Woman Made Man". lol, they
are crazy.
Key Player: Maya Rudolph
Weakest Link: Dean Edwards
Score: 4.5 (of 5)
Sketch: Old Sketch From 1996-1997 season.
Players: Ana Gasteyer, Will Ferrell, Gwenyth Paltrow, Chris Kattan
What I Have To Say About It: They should have had Mark McKinney do a cameo
and him be Leslie just like in the 96-97 season. I bet I'm the only guy that
remembers this sketch. Ana is good for playing old drunk women...better than
Molly Shannon. I freakin' loved this sketch. This was the best one all night.
What makes it even funnier is that I know the conversation Gwenyth & Ana
had about Middle Eastern-Americans (that's my little term for them, don't
hate me, I'm trying to be Politically Correct) is going on
somewhere in America. I wonder if Bill Mehr (or whatever from P.I.) will ever
host SNL. I doubt it, but it would be interesting. Chris Kattan's part was good. He
kept saying "I was born in AMERICA, but my dad is from Lebanon" and they kept
asking him stuff about Persuans and things like that.  Ana Gasteyer held it down. 
So did Gwenyth. I swear this situation is going on somewhere in America as we
speak. Ana really made an ass out of herself by assuming Kattan was not an
Key Player: Ana Gasteyer
Weakest Link: Will Ferrell, I hate to give it to him though.
Score: 5!!! No doubt. This is a dead up FIVE.
T.V. Fun House
Oh shit!! This was sooo funny. I knew they were going to pick on Micheal Jackson
because of his returning to music. Can you really say his returning? I mean, his last record came out in 1996 right? It was called "Blood On The Dance Floor" or something wasn't it?
They need to make more T.V. Fun Houses like this.
Score: 5
No Score
Sketch: Weekend Update
Players: Tina Fey, Jimmy Fallon, Darell Hammond, Horatio Sanz, Chris Kattan
What I Have To Say About It: Man, it looks like Tina Fey is slipping and Jimmy
is getting better. I never would have thought that. A lot of Tina's jokes were
played. Yeah, I know someone wrote this for them but I can only assume
Tina wrote it because heck, she's the head writer. Why not write what comes out
of your own mouth if you have the power to. The Pizza Party joke got real bad real
quick but to my surprise Jimmy was the one making me laugh about the lame Pizza
Party joke. Jimmy had the best jokes but what outshined all of them was
Darrell's Rudy Guluani. Damn! Darrell needs his own show or something. I'm
starting to think he is a little better than Phil Hartman (respect due).
I loved that Madanna joke too.  Horatio did a little good too, but he can step his
game up just a tad more.
Key Player: Derrell Hammond
Weakest Link: Tina Fey (I never knew)
Score: 3.5 (of 5)
Sketch: A Messed Up Family
Players: Ana Gasteyer, Will Ferrell, Amy Poehler, Gwenyth Paltrow
What I Have To Say About It: Damn, they clanked those plates a little too much didn't
they. Ana was too whimpy in this sketch. I guess I'm too used to her being an
old smart eleck quick tongued lady. She puts me in the mind of Nora Dunn a lot
(but just not in this sketch). Will cracked me up when he kept interrupting Ana.
Did anyone notice that Gwenyth was looking off stage when they were all arguing.
Who the hell was she looking at (maybe some cue cards huh). Gwenyth made me
laugh in it though. Especially when she called Ana a bitch and sung it out.
Key Player: Will Ferrell (Gwenyth could have won this one)
Weakest Link: Ana Gasteyer (Amy could have got this one)
Score:  3.5 (of 5)
Sketch: Mango
Players: Chris Kattan, Seth Meyers, Gwenyth Paltrow, Will Ferrell, Dean Edwards
What I Have To Say About It: I really don't like Magno sketches, but I loved this one.
Seth Meyers has got some skills. I hope he does this impression on Celeberty
Jeopardy. It's about damn time a woman was obsessed over him instead of
another guy... well.. Matt Damon. I loved it when Mango trew like a girl.
It looks like Tracy Morgan is trying to out shine Chris Kattan in playing gay
guys. Anyone notice that Gwenyth missed her cue in the song. Oh and Will got
a chuckle out of me when he called Ana "bye, miss up, Gwenyth Paltrows agent".
Kattan had me rolling with the "I don't know why everyone thinks I'm de homo gay".
Key Player: Chris Kattan
Weakest Link: Maya Rudolph
Score: 4
Sketch: A Show On Telemundo
Players: Maya Rudolph, Gwenyth Paltrow, Darrell Hammond, Tracy Morgan,
Horatio Sanz
What I Have To Say About It: Maya seems to be taking Molly's place as the female
that talks loud, and jumps around on stage trying to get people to laugh.  Maya has
come a long way. One good thing about being bi racial is that you can play any
race without putting on that much make up and no one will even know.
She has played Lucy Lu, Lisa Kudrow, various hispanic and asian people,
Oprah, other black women, and it doesn't seem like they put too much make up
on her but it works. Maya's accent also had me going. Gwenyth did her thing too.
Darrell & Horatio made strong appearances but my man Tracy over here is playing
too many flames. Like I said, it seems like he is trying to out do Kattan in playing
feminine guys or women... not that it's something wrong with that, but it is
something wrong with it when you act soooo fem and I still don't laugh. At least
make me crack a smile.
Key Player: Maya Rudolph
Weakest Link: Tracy Morgan (sorry, but step it up).
Score:  3.5 (of 5)
FINAL THOUGHTS: This was the best show this season so far. I liked the Seann
William Scott episode too. Maya is all over the place this season and I'm proud I said during the Reese Witherspoon episode, I want to like the weaker
cast members. Some people think it's just no hope for the cast members that don't
get as much air time as Will & Ana (or guys that don't look as good as Jimmy in the
eyes of these young females), but I want to like everyone in the cast. I don't want
them to change the whole cast up, just for better people, I say Lorne Micheals
should just sharpen up each cast member, because they all have talent (yes, even
Rachel Dratch) they just need some polish.

FINAL SCORE: 4!! The highest this season so far.
KEY PLAYER: Maya Rudolph
WEAKEST LINK: Dean Edwards...
now I know he was only in one sketch and made
a cameo in the other, and yes Gwenyth was the weakest link in two sketches... but
Gwenyth did real good in other sketches wich evened it out, so when it goes like
that I end up picking the person that I remembered sucking at doing something in
the show that I just can't get over and this was Dean Edward's Sway impression.

When I looked over my review I noticed I mentioned a whole lot of former SNL Players in this review.
Chevy Chase, Ellen Cleghorne, Jane Curtain, Joan Cusack, Robert Downey Jr.
Nora Dunn, Al Franken, Gilbert Gottfried, Phil Hartman, Julia Louis-Dryfuss
Mark McKinney, Dennis Miller, Gilda Radner, Molly Shannon, Sarah Silverman
Ben Stiller, Danitra Vance, Damon Wayans
That's a lot of former members I mentioned during the review. Well, that's all and
just like a slow kid playing dodge ball "I'm out".

Episode Review written by Joe Average

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