Gwyneth Paltrow / Ryan Adams
November 10, 2001



FUCK THE YANKEES

Sports Report:
Devils: God Bless Jim McKenzie. He made Domi look the little pussy he is. They,ve been ON recently which always makes Devils Nation happy.
Leafs: Mogo- where are you? What? What? What? At least they signed Kaberle and are kicking a lot of ass and are in first.
Canucks: God hates the Canucks. I mean Sweet Jesus- we fucking suck. Someone tell Cassells we need him soon.
Saints: They lost the Jets. What? What? They lost the Jets. What? Turley is a fucking moron. They have to beat the 49ers this weekend.
Nets: 5-1!!!!!!!!!!! If no one gets injured- I see bright things.

Bob Barron Recaps the World Series:
Luis Gonzalez is God! In the new Harry Potter movie, Harry turns Mariano into a goat. Byon-Hung Who? Finally the Yankees lost. Seeing Derek Jeter,s face- priceless. Dbacks basically beat them 6/7 games and owned them. FUCK THE YANKEES!

Bob Barron Recaps Election Day:
Ha-ha! Democrats are falling apart. Mark Fuckhead, Green proved what happens when you run a campaign with racism. Everyone turns on you and your party falls apart. Judith Genius, Hope resigned cause she,s a fucking moron. Way to go Judy: Uhhhh Mr. McCall uhhhhh I,m afraid that Coumo will run a racist campaign like fuckhead did so why don,t you drop out. 2 Republican mayors in a row- GO NEW YORK!

Let,s check the mailbag-
The largest collector of gay pornography Nick Mayhew writes-
Dear Bob,
What the hell is up with those stupid reviews? Who the hell cares about how those pathetic Devs and Nets are doing, because they suck big time! I can tell that a Republican wrote those reviews, because it,s always written so poorly and biased, uncalled for remarks. How are those Devs doing this year Bob?---I thought so. Also, the #26 keeps coming up for some reason Bob, can you tell me what that number means? And, for the love of God, Amy Poehler is 10,000 times better looking than that hooker Fey, and I don,t give a damn how many times you,ve hugged heryou know it, Iknow it, the American people know itAmy is hotter! In closing, your reviews are critical and lame! Keep up the great work (sarcastically).-Nick Mayhew

Well Nick here is jealous that the Devils have won 2 Cups in the last seven years and that the Nets are finally on the road for success. And a Democrat talking about uncalled for remarks. Who was the racist in the NYC mayor campaign? Bloomberg, nooooo- ooooo yea- Fuckhead Green. A Democrat. Well, sweet sassy mollasey. Devs right now have gone 8-0-1 in their last 9 games. What? For those of you who don,t know. #26 is the biggest prize in Mayhew,s gay porn collection. It,s a tape of Mariano Rivera and Jay Wistaskic. I don,t want to elaborate. While Amy is hot and all, Tina is like a million times hotter. She,s hugged me (DDP mode on) TWO TIMES! TWO TIMES! TWO TIMES! (DDP mode off) Have a nice day and Mayhew- I checked- Ranger security has the tape of Theo Fleuery getting drunk and molesting Messier if you want it.
Wanna be in the mailbag- email: philhartmanrip@yahoo.com

Let,s start. Okay?

Pre-show thoughts-
Gwennie has won an Oscar and is really hot. Ryan Adams sings

W. Addresses the Nation
Cast- Will Ferrell
Thoughts- Well it didn,t take them long to go back to dumbass W. The myth thing was pretty funny but I prefer LFNYISN be said in English. Usual W. cold- ***.5

Monologue
Cast-Gwenyth Paltrow, Maya Rudolph
Thoughts- Good lord. The monologues have SUCKED this year. This was utterly pointless. Message to GP: We know you sang in Duets. We,re proud of you even though like 3 people saw that movie. Now NEVER sing again. Still- didn,t overally suck or anything so- **.25

Bahston Teens
Cast- Paltrow, Jimmy Fallon, Rachel Dratch, Horatio Sanz, Tina Fey, Amy Poehler
Thoughts- Yay! You,d think Sully would kill himself considering the state of the Red Sox. Pretty funny stuff- Amy said cock which will always up the star ratings. Plus- Tina! (Yay!) Usual BT skit so we,ll say: ***.5

Gemini,s Twin
Cast- Paltrow, Ana Gasteyer, Rudolph, Dean Edwards
Thoughts- Oh good God! GT SUUUUUUUUUUUUCKS. The joke is tired. It,s TIRED! At least last time they had Pierce Brosnan to cover their ass- this week- nothing. Ugh. Pleeeeeeaaaaase- no more GT. It is baaaaaaaaad. <*

Dick Wife
Cast- Paltrow, Chris Kattan, Ferrell, Gasteyer
Thoughts- Good Lord. They,ve done this character a lot- and it,s still NOT funny. off for CK, duh. This sucked. *

Cartoon
Thoughts- Disappointing. They could,ve done a really kick ass job with this skit but blew it. The whole fake Michael thing- WTF? Sorta like the BSB skit earlier- could,ve been **** but instead it,s: **.5

Ryan Adams
Thoughts- When in doubt, suck up to the crowd. Good stuff by this dude. Bad mg streak ends at 2. Hope to see more of this kid on VH1. ***

Weekend Update
Cast- Fallon, Fey, Darrell Hammond, Kattan, Sanz
Thoughts- The jokes kicked ass this week, the commentaries sucked. Darrell,s Rudy impression was garbage. I mean- he overdid the lisp. That,s Darrell for ya,. The Jasper Hahn thing doesn,t work with Jimmy. Colin was a drunk Irish motherfucker. Jimmy,s a little pussy.
Colin: I will kick you,re fucking ass motherfucker!
Me: Ahhhhhhhhhhhh! (runs)
Jimmy: I will kick you,re fucking ass motherfucker!
Me: What? What the fuck are you talking about?
Anywho- jokes ruled to an awesome degree, commentaries did so we,ll say: ****1/2

Dinnertime
Cast- Paltrow, Ferrell, Gasteyer, Poehler
Thoughts- I was Will to blow a gasket- DENIED! I,ve seen this skit before but here,s a tip: The whole point is to get Will more pissed off. So when the audience can,t take it anymore- Will blows a gasket, crowd goes crazy. I,ll tell ya, next week Lorne. Some funny lines make it: *.5

Mango
Cast- Matt Damon, Paltrow, Kattan Rudolph, Fallon, Ferrell, Sanz, Tracy Morgan, Gasteyer, Meyers
Thoughts- Just kill me now. CK is leaving soon. He better be. I used to be able take Mango but good lord- I give up. I can,t take it anymore. BTW- Matt Damon sucks too. Good Will Hunting was a BAD movie. off. DUD

Fiesta Poltica
Cast- Paltrow, Morgan, Sanz, Hammond
Thoughts- This DIDN,T suck. I know- I,m as shocked as you are. Darrell and Maya were both not bad. **

Jack Handey
Thoughts- I,ll Tom Green it. **.5

Bottom Line- Avg. skit was **.2 which is a thumbs down. SNL is off to a slump. Last week featured a lot of the newbies which shows-
a)The shtick of the Old Guard is getting old. Hopefully this is their last year
b)Next year won,t be that bad.
Focus a lot on the newbies and phase out the old guard. It,s not a bad thing, it,s a GOOD thing. Okay.

Thumbs Down


Episode Review written by Bob Barron


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