Derek Jeter / Bubba Sparxxx, Shakira
December 1, 2001


OVERVIEW
Getting Derek Jeter to host has to be the weirdest and dumbest hosting choice SNL made in the past few years. I'm not just biased against this because I hate baseball - when has a sports star even ever done a good job of hosting? Very rarely (Michael Jordan was decent, and if The Rock counts as an athlete, then he's one of those 'good' sport star hosts, too). We've already had disaster shows in the past hosted by sport stars Deion Sanders, George Foreman, Charles Barkley, and I haven't seen the Nancy Kerrigan episode but I heard that was real bad, too. I'm not looking forward to a show that probably will be filled with baseball-related skits, and Jeter playing himself all night.

 

JOHN ASHCROFT ADDRESS (4:05)

- Last time Darrell played John Ashcroft, his voice sounded like Sylvester the Cat, like someone else pointed out. This time, his voice kept cracking and squeaking throughout the whole thing. I'm not sure if that was part of the impression, or if Darrell's voice was really strained. Knowing Darrell, it was probably part of the impression.
- I was thinking the same thing about Darrell/Ashcroft sounding like Jeff Foxworthy with his various "you might be a terrorist" ("you might be a redneck"), before Ferrell/Bush pointed it out.
- What was with Ferrell's "Bush" wig? When he walked on, I thought he was playing someone else, because his Dubya wig looked really different.
- The framed picture of Ferrell as Bush in the background with that look on his face was a funny subtle touch.
- And the Ferrell and Hammond LFNY cycle continues and continues and continues and continues
- RATING: ****1/4 B

 

DEREK JETER'S MONOLOGUE (2:57)

- I dunno what to say about this. It was kinda dumb, but in a funny way.
- It was funny when he hit the cue cards guy with the baseball.
- That one guy who got hit in the back and stomach with Jeter's baseball, then puked looked a lot like Dana Carvey in a fake wig and beard. I thought it was really him at first.
- Derek Jeter already looks like a bad actor.
- RATING: ***7/8 C+

 

PREPERATION H OINTMENT (:54)

- A repeat from the season premiere.
- RATING: N/A

 

THE IGLESIAS BROTHERS (3:19)

- Jimmy's impression of Enrique Inglesias - YES!!! I'm just happy that Jimmy's back to doing impressions again. It's been a long while.
- Derek Jeter with the giant mole was a funny sight, but man, he can not act.
- RATING: ****1/4 B

 

YANKEES' WIVES AT A BASEBALL GAME (5:02)

- The only time tonight when Derek actually made a sketch funnier with his appearance. He was hysterical looking in drag, as were the other two baseball players at the end.
- The set used in this sketch looked like the same one from that sketch back in 1994-95 where Chris Farley was at a seapark and kept getting splashed by bacterial water from a whale.
- RATING: ****3/8 B+

 

NEXT WEEK ­ HUGH JACKMAN/MICK JAGGER
Huh, Pardo??? 'BROUG Jackman'? Did I hear right? I understand the "Ana Gasteyer with Tina Fey" thing since he was used to announcing Ana after Ferrell's name, but thisc'mon.

 

THE MASSEUSE (5:05)

- As soon I heard the announcer woman say the title for the sketch over the commercials and they showed the set, I expected Ferrell to be the masseuse (ala Idiot Dr. Beaman and the Testicle Doctor w/ Chris Parnell), but it was Kattan.
- This reminded me a lot of that sketch Kattan did with Renee Zellweger last year where he kept playing weird theme songs during their 'romantic' date. Could this be a new character?
- When Kattan jumped on Derek Jeter like that, he reminded me of Mr. Peepers.
- I didn't get the flashback thing at the end. What was with that? Plus, the audience applauded too early.
- RATING: **** B-

 

DISSING YOUR DOG (2:39)

- Ferrell always looks funny with a bushy moustache.
- Dumb premise, but again, Ferrell made it funny and simple.
- RATING: **** B-

 

DEREK JETER'S TACO HOLE (2:42)

- Derek Jeter playing himself. How convenient
- This was weak.
- RATING: ***1/4 D

 

DEALING WITH MOM AND DAD (5:04)

- Hey, look, it's Derek Jeter playing himself again. Wow.
- Kattan's getting a lot of airtime lately.
- This picked up when Kattan and Derek bashed the two kids with the baseball bat non-stop.
- RATING: ***7/8 C+

 

WEEKEND UPDATE (9:30)

- Solid Update jokes as usual.
- Tina really shined tonight. She had rants-galore during this Update. Like I said before, just let her do Update herself, SNL.
- Hey, look. Derek Jeter plays himselfagain.
- I had a feeling Seth would do something in this episode about the Red Sox commentary he made a few weeks back.
- The expected clip of the George Harrison/Paul Simon SNL bit. A nice tribute.
- RATING: ****3/8 B+

 

OSAMA'S PEP TALK (5:48)

- I can't believe SNL had the balls to do this, having someone portray Osama, but I guess it had to happen sooner or later. Ferrell did a good job.
- RATING: ****1/4 B

 

WHAT'S WITH HIS PERM? (5:35)

- At least Derek Jeter's not playing himself. Too bad he still can't act.
- Damn, some guy in the audience had this really annoying loud laugh during this whole sketch.
- At least the wig was worth a lot of laughs.
- RATING: ***1/2 C-

 

CHRISTMAS TIME IS HERE (2:29)

- YAAAY! I'm really happy to see this again. I didn't care much for these songs last season when I originally watched it, but the songs really grew on me after watching them again later. It's really giddy and fun, and the lyrics stick in your head.
- I liked the different way this sketch began.
- Anybody notice that Horatio changed the lyric, "I don't care what the mayor says" to "I don't care what the newsman says"? All the other lyrics were the same, so why'd he change that specific one?
- Poor Tracy. This was his only skit of the night. The last two times they did this Christmas song, they were also ones where it was his only skit of the night [Lucy Liu and Christopher Walken episodes].  It's a curse!
- Horatio was going crazy with that guitar at the end. You could see Kattan thinking "Are you gonna stop soon, or what, before my head falls off shaking it like this?"
- RATING: N/A

 

JACK HANDEY'S BIG THICK NOVEL (:28)

- Like I said before, these are either hit or miss, and tonight's was a miss. This was not needed tonight. The show would've ended on a better note if the Christmas song was the last segment.
- RATING: N/A

 

OVERALL - Not the train wreck I was expecting. However, as expected, Derek Jeter was dull, and brought down most of the sketches. He'll probably join the low ranks of hosts Deion Sanders, Charles Barkley, George Foreman, and even Jennifer Lopez (obviously not a sports star, but she had no range in acting and basically played herself in every skit). B-

 

BEST SKETCH OF THE EPISODE: Christmas Time is Here; Yankees Wives
WORST SKETCH OF THE EPISODE: Derek Jeter's Taco Hole; The Perm
MOST BIZARRE SKETCH: Eh, nothing really, but I guess The Perm will do
HIGH POINTS: The show was better than the usual shows with sports hosts. Just goes to show how great this season has been doing; Jimmy's impressions are back
LOW POINTS: Derek Jeter was still a bad host; The Robert Goulet Christmas sketch I keep reading about was cut for the second time. Oh, well, there's still the next two shows
SKETCHES THAT'LL PROBABLY BE CUT WHEN COMEDY CENTRAL SHOWS THIS: The Perm; Jack Handey; Osama's Pep Talk; The Iglesias Brothers

 

CAST MEMBER COUNT DOWN

RACHEL DRATCH: 2 sketches (Iglesias Bros., Yankees Wives)
JIMMY FALLON: 6 sketches (Iglesias Bros., Taco Hole, Mom and Dad, Update, Osama, Christmas Song)
WILL FERRELL: 6 sketches (Ashcroft and Bush, Dog, Taco Hole, Mom and Dad, Osama, Perm)
TINA FEY: 1 sketchDare I say it?
ANA GASTEYER: 3 sketches (Yankees Wives, Mom and Dad, Perm)
DARRELL HAMMOND: 1 sketch (Ashcroft and Bush)
CHRIS KATTAN: 4 sketches (Iglesias Bros., Masseuse, Mom and Dad, Christmas Song)
TRACY MORGAN: 1 sketch (Christmas Song)
MAYA RUDOLPH: 4 sketches (Iglesias Bros., Yankees Wives, Taco Hole, Perm)
HORATIO SANZ: 4 sketches (Taco Hole, Osama, Perm, Christmas Song)
DEAN EDWARDS: 1 sketch (Taco Hole)
SETH MEYERS: 2 sketches (Update, Osama)
AMY POEHLER: 3 sketches (Iglesias Bros., Yankees Wives, Mom and Dad)
JEFF RICHARDS: 1 sketch (Mom and Dad)

I won't count the Preparation H commercial, since it was just a repeat. I mistakenly counted the Pregnancy Test commercial repeat in the in the last cast member count down, though.

Stars of the night were Jimmy and Ferrell, followed by Horatio and Kattan. I'm glad Jimmy's getting back in the groove, as he hasn't been doing much this season before tonight, and it's good to see him doing impressions again.

Thanks for reading my review. I'm outta heah


Episode Review written by Stooge


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