Derek Jeter / Bubba Sparxxx, Shakira
December 1, 2001


Woo-hoo, it's good to be reviewing again after taking the last two live
episodes off. I did catch parts of the last two, but wasn't able to tape
them, so I couldn't review just pieces of each show. But I loved seeing the
Brian Fellows skit last week! It's funny how something as simple as hearing
Tracy exclaim, "I'm Brian Fellows!" can crack me up every time. I have a
hard time getting these reviews in on time, that's something I'll work on.
I've also seen several reviewers incorporate a
pre-show section in their reviews, so I thought it would be neat to do that,
too.

PRE-SHOW THOUGHTS

When I heard Derek Jeter was hosting the show, two thoughts came to mind:
the horrible Nancy Kerrigan episode from 94' and "Ugh, not the Yankees
again!" I love New York, but I will never be a Yankees fan, it goes against
my being an Indians fan, it's almost impossible to be both. I figured this
was going to be one of those episodes full of jokes and references that I
wouldn't get because I'm not too familiar with the Yankees. Enough pre-show
assumptions, though.

COLD OPENING - PRES. BUSH W/JOHN ASHCROFT

When I saw Darrell come up on screen, I was a bit disappointed but only
because he's had practically every monologue this season. His impressions
are great, but I'm getting a bit tired of them. But when Will stumbled in, I
was thrilled to see him doing Bush again. The whole skit reminded me of the
joke-off between Tina and Jimmy and W.U. a couple months ago. I liked it
overall and I'm very impressed with the writing on all political-related
skits this season. The staff has struck that perfect balance in writing
funny stuff without crossing the lines. Great work!

Grade: B+

MONOLOGUE - DEREK JETER

Bwah-ha-ha-haaa! This was just hilarious. First off, I think Derek looks
much hotter in a baseball uniform than a suit. Still, he is a nice-looking
guy, even if he is a Yankee, haha. When Derek started hitting foul balls
into the audience, I lost it-I was laughing so hard. I tried figuring out
how the editing was done so well. I'm guessing the scenes with audience
members getting hit were shot separately. I especially liked seeing the
light getting knocked out and the last one of the guy falling over the
railing. This is definitely the funniest monologue so far this season.

Grade: A

COMMERCIAL - HEMMORRHOID CREAM

I think this was shown in the premiere episode, but I forgot about it when
writing my review. It was funny, but it didn't really catch my eye this
time, or the first time, obviously. The way it was shot is very reminiscent
of the "Corn Chip Nail Tips" commercial from last season.

Grade: C+

SKETCH - MUCHAS IGLESIAS

I'll never understand what these Iglesias guys have that makes women start
blubbering like preteens at an 'Nsync concert...or anyone at the mere sight
of Michael Jackson. I don't even know if Roberto Iglesias is a real person,
but Derek was awesome playing him. The huge mole and his inability to sing
was so funny. Jimmy did well as Enrique and I liked seeing Amy and Maya cry,
they played the role of obsessed fans perfectly. And poor Rachel getting
stuck with "Roberto"! Funny and creative is how I would describe this sketch.

Grade: A-

SKETCH - NYY WIVES HANGIN' AT THE GAME

This is the kind of skit that had the potential to blow right past me, but I
was surprised how universal the players' wives stereotypes are. I swear, the
same jokes can probably be applied to every group of wives in the league.
Writing cookbooks for charity is something the Indians' wives do, too,
amongst other community-related things. I wonder if the names of the wives
are true; I doubt names ending in
"-ice" are really that common. Seeing Derek in drag was something I kind of
expected; I knew something odd like that was going to happen. Then, when the
women mentioned the girls coming over, I knew we were going to see more
Yankees in drag. Who they were, I'm not sure, but I'm guessing they were
Tino Martinez and David Wells...no, wait...he's a Blue Jay now. Okay, I'll
go with Chuck Knoblauch, but he looked too pudgy in womens' clothes to be
him. I liked the skit alot, especially Derek's joke on himself looking like
the product of The Rock having sex with a Muppet. The guy's got a good sense
of humor.

Grade: B

SKETCH - DEREK GETS A MASSAGE

I knew this was going to be good when I saw Chris was playing the masseur.
His ability to play quirky characters is so great, I can't see any other cast
member playing this role. I liked Derek's modesty, it's not how I'd picture
him in that situation, but it was funny because wearing a robe kind of ruins
the entire massage. When I heard the Enya song start playing, I almost died
laughing. I must hear "Only Time" everyday, at least twice, and it irritates
me more than anyone can imagine. When Chris started getting fresh with
Derek, the skit started going into familiar Chris territory and went
down-hill a bit. But at the very end, the skit shot upwards again with an
ingenious and original ending with the whole massage experience being a
daydream in Chris' mind. Awesome sketch.

Grade: A-

COMMERCIAL - DISSING YOUR DOG

Great commercial overall. I hate the idea of being nasty to a harmless pet,
but I laughed at the insults. This was VERY much like last year's commercial
with Will as a lawyer specializing in dog-related cases. The dogs were cute,
too, so they get an extra point on my grading scale, hehe.

Grade: B+

SKETCH - D.J.'s TACO HOLE

The idea of baseball players working odd jobs during the off-season for extra
cash was funny, but I gotta admit, this sketch flopped big-time. The whole
thing just looked awkward. The four singing in the background got annoying
pretty fast and Derek looked uncomfortable. Horatio ended up carrying the
second half of the sketch on his shoulders; he was the bright spot in this
mess.

Grade: D+

SKETCH - DEALING WITH MOM AND DAD

The TV show "Dealing With Mom And Dad" fits right in with every cheesy 80's
sitcom perfectly, at least up until the part where Derek and "Patrick" start
bashing some guys over the heads with bats. That wasn't really the point
here, but I noticed similarities to "Alf", "Brady Bunch" and any sitcom the
Olsen twins have been in. Derek redeemed himself well after that Taco Hole
schlock. His ability to work with cue cards is very good, better than alot
of actors I've seen ::cough::Christopher
Walken::cough::. When "Patrick" and Derek started bashing the bullies with
the baseball bat, I wasn't too shocked, but it was funny. The best quote was
Amy's, "If I
was 15, I'd totally have sex with you!"

Grade: B

MUSICAL GUEST - SHAKIRA

Her song "Wherever, Whenever", or is it "Whenever, Wherever", (can never
remember) is one of my current favorites, so I watched this one a couple
times. This live performance sort of sucked, but at least it was live. I
wish she didn't present herself as another Britney clone to add to the heap,
though.

Grade: C (based on performance)

WEEKLY UPDATE

Good update, I really liked Tina's jokes about stealing Britney's rhinestone
jumpsuit and the one about Charlotte Church. The latter was perfect, enough
to slam her for her ignorant remark without totally degrading her, even
though she deserved it for saying something so stupid. Jimmy seemed out of
it, but Tina was able to compensate with her cheeriness. The
Point-Counterpoint at the end was good. Seth was adorable, I feel his pain.
I loved when he said, "Would you come
play for Boston?" to Derek. The small tribute to George Harrison was sweet.
I wasn't around yet when he made that appearance on SNL, but I applaud him
for showing up. And I hope he did get the full $3000. We'll miss you,
George.

Grade: A-

SKETCH - OSAMA'S PEP TALK

Again, the writers have taken on the daunting task of poking fun at something
that isn't funny at all and have succeeded in doing so. The first time I
watched this sketch, I somehow missed the fact that Will was Osama. I didn't
realize that until just five minutes ago upon reviewing the sketch. That
changes everything! Will as Osama wasn't too believable, but Horatio playing
his man in waiting, whatever his name is, was very funny. I couldn't really
get into this sketch, but I appreciate how
well done it was. The only bad thing I saw in this sketch was the closed
captioner mistakingly typing out "Death to Israel" instead of "Death to
Infidels". That was pretty nasty, but what the guys were yelling was hard to
make out.

Grade: B

SKETCH - DEREK GETS AN AFRO

Maybe it's just me, but I don't find anything funny about afros. Who cares,
really? That hairstyle was never popular during my lifetime, so maybe afro
jokes just go over my head, no pun intended. Any humor here seemed to come
from seeing Derek with an afro and not much else, something a fan of his
would like. This sketch suffers from what I'll call "done to death"
syndrome. I've noticed alot of these this season, one-joke sketches that
drag and drag until you just want to put yourself out of your misery. Okay,
I'm exaggerating a bit, but after the first few, "Ugh, his hair!" comments by
the cast, I was ready to fast-forward.

Grade: D

MUSICAL GUEST - BUBBA SPARXXX

Is that right, Sparxxx with three "X"'s? Is Bubba one of the guys? Which
one? Or is that the group's name? Doesn't matter, I didn't watch this, so I
can't fairly grade it.

Grade: N/A

HOLIDAY TREAT - HORATIO & THE GUYS SINGING THE CHRISTMAS SONG

This sketch, in all its simplicity, was such a hit last year that I knew we'd
see it again this season. Heck, I'd almost bet all the money I've got that
we'll see it again sometime this month. Horatio was great as usual, but the
other three guys were off. Maybe they're tired of the whole thing. Jimmy
forgot to sing along with Horatio for a couple lines, Chris couldn't keep his
head turning in time with the beat and Tracy wasn't boppin' like he used to.
I was fooled in the beginning with the string players; I had no idea we were
in for another rendition of the Christmas song. Nice nostalgic touch from a
holiday season where life was much simpler.

Grade: B

SKETCH - MY BIG THICK NOVEL

Honestly, I could never remember the name of this segment if my life depended
on it. Is it "My Big Thick Novel"? Pretty sad considering it I just watched
it 15 minutes ago. It's one of those things my brain can't comprehend.
Okay, this one was creepy and I didn't like it, but I'm not a fan of these at
all, so no big surprise there.

Grade: C-

POST-SHOW THOUGHTS

I was very surprised how much I enjoyed this show. There was so much stuff
crammed into an hour and a half. My only nitpick is the idea of pushing so
many sketches into the first 45-60 minutes and then having nothing but a
mediocre sketch, musical guests and Jack Handey's novel to end the show.
Maybe it's a new approach taken by SNL to keep viewers watching during that
first hour. I did notice the lack of recurring sketches for the most part
which is always nice to see.

I think Derek did an excellent job as host, better than the average non-actor
host. I wish he had sung during "Muchas Iglesias" or the Taco Hole sketch,
but it's cool that he didn't. This was the only episode in which I've seen
two musical guests sharing the spot, at least that I can remember. I wonder
why that was, double-booking, possibly?

I like to give out lil' awards so I would give the Male Player of the Night
Award to Horatio. He didn't get a whole lot of time, but his presence in the
few skits he was in made them so much funnier to watch. Chris would be a
very close second. The Female Player of the Night Award goes to Tina for her
brilliance in Weekly Update. I hate to give out Loser of the Night Awards,
so I won't this time because there really wasn't one. Signing off until the
next new episode, which I will not forget to tape!

Overall Episode Grade: B-


Episode Review written by Shelley R.


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