Derek Jeter / Bubba Sparxxx, Shakira
December 1, 2001

hello, mrs RANDY GOLDMAN here, and here is my first ever snl review! yay! well before i start, i think i may tell you some things about how i review:

1. i do "grade" musical performances
2. i don't grade commecials, theyre really not "live" if you think about it, but i will write      comments about them
3. i will include pre and post show thoughts in my reviews.

okay, so here we go, my first review! im already ferklempt! hehe!

Pre-show Thoughts

derek jeter? okay. there's something wrong there. d.j. seems like the total ANTI-SNL HOST, if you ask me. he seems like a very serious person, and i honestly cant imagine him doing anything remotely comical. now the musical guests. shakira? i dont have a problem with her. her music is pretty good, and now its kinda at the peak of her success, and its a good time to have her on the show. but BUBBA SPARXXX? ew. grossness! first of all, i really dont like his music at all. and, i truly dont know of many people who have heard of him, or enjoy his "ghetto-hillbilly" raps. also, this guy thinks that he is so great. i jus dont like his type, at all!! maybe i should just set the timer for my vcr and go to sleep nice and early tonight...

Cold Opening- John Ashcroft's Address

this opening was...okay. it wasnt anything very special. im honestly getting quite sick of these addresses. they are taking over the cold opening as we know it. but, i must say, that i always enjoy a nice george w. bush impersonation by one of my fave players, will ferrell. he never fails to please. hehe. i really think that the people over at snl studios should think about putting a presidential address at the beginning of every FRICKEN (mango) snl! im serious! last season i was so close to throwing my shoe straight at my tv screen after hearing "hello america..." for the 15th time. i mean, come on! but, i have togive some extra credit for will's dubya impersonation, it is really great! B+

Derek Jeter's Monologue

this monologue was kinda annoying. i must admit, though, that the first baseball d.j. hit made me laugh uncontrollably. i really dont know why. also, when the one guy got hit and started to barf. that was pretty funny. i realized something while watching this monologue. one lady, who some refer to as "that fat lady" is ALWAYS in monologues. why? she really must be craving air time or something. i dont like that very much. well, whatever. moving on, i dont think that this truly shows me how great of a comedian derek jeter is. i think the real credit goes to those who were hit with baseballs and bats deserve all the credit for this one. B+

Preparation H Commercial

now, im not going to give this a grade, but i will comment. let me tell you that watching jimmy fallon act like black is so incredibly entertaining! the same goes for chris kattan. this commercial was pretty funny, but kinda annoying. No grade

The Iglesias Brothers CD

okay. this one was pretty stupid, and d.j. looked really stupid with that birthmark on his face. i liked chris's julio iglesias, muy caliente, senor kattan! (hehe im an "A" student in spanish!!) whoa. jimmy fallon in leather pants=any teen girls fantasy!! hahaha! *deeply sighs* but, this "commericial" was pretty ridiculous. B-

The Yankee Wives

whoa! d.j. in drag?!? i never thought id live to see that. derek actually did a pretty good job in this one. i got a few definite laughs from this. i liked amy's character, she was very protective of her chuck! maya's character was hilarious. she had no idea what she was doing! it was so funny! and i especially like the david wells/david cone cameo in the end! A-

The Emotional Masseusse

this was a pretty good skit. i like chris kattan. hes pretty funny, and he will be missed by the oujffc (official unofficial jimmy fallon fan club, my wonderful club yay! hey ali and marie!). when chris looked up with tears in his eyes during the enya song, it made me laugh pretty hard. kattan kinda reminded me of peepers when he jumped on d.j., and speaking of which, where is my beloved peepers?!? i miss him!! B

Dissing Your Dog

i have 3 letters to describe this skit: L-O-L (semicolon, close parenthesis, ala nick burns! jimmy! i love you jimmy!). this was such a funny ad. i especially like the part where will said to the dog, "the neighbors really thought that POOP you left for them added a nice ACCENT to the house!!!" good job, will. as much as i like dogs, this ad was really funny!  A-

Derek Jeter's Taco Hole

this was pretty funny. nothing that special though. i liked how jimmy sang (pick up his album, the bathroom wall, in february). i didnt quite understand the point of the ad, though. i think that in the future, this will probably be cut for the SNL reruns...C+

Dealing with the Parents

OHMYLORD, this was one of the funniest skits of the night! chris and amy remind me of myself and my little brother, always making fun of each other! very good! i liked d.j.'s secret method, i may try it if anyone else in my school bashes weezer, jimmy fallon, or george harrison (how horrible, right?) one more time! i liked the end bit where d.j. teaches kattan that its okay to burn things when you get dumped! that was very interesting! overall, i liked this skit!! A

Musical Performance 1-Shakira

nice job, shakira! i like her music, but i really like her spanish music better than the english music. her song, "whenever, wherever" is a good one, and i think that shakira may have a pretty good future in the music business. A

Weekend Update

A++++++. i absolutely love jimmy and tina. i liked the joke about the britney spears elvis suit, the pee-wee herman joke, and the orgasm day joke. lol. that was really funny. and i also enjoyed point/counterpoint. seth is a great guy, i think he will eventually be remembered in the future. but if he thinks that he can ever replace jimmy, he has something comin to him, sister-friend (cheri oteri as barbara walters)!

Osama Rallies

i hated this skit. as seth myers would say, "you suck!!" it was so boring, and it was gay. i liked the batman joke tho...*cough cough*. moving on, i thought the bootleg harry potter was kinda funny tho! C

Man Perm

ugh. this was so incredibly dumb. who wants to see d.j. stand in front of a mirror, picking and spraying his ridiculously out-of-date perm? ahhh! the only laugh i got in this one was "perms suddenly in!" and brad pitt and jennifer aniston with matching perms. good try. C-

Musical Performance-Bubba Sparxxx

im sorri, but i almost fell asleep at this part of the show. bubba sparxxx is terrible. i hate him so much. if i hear ''its gon' get uglyyyyyyyyyyyy'' one more time, i may commit a hate crime. whos decision was it to get this guy on the show? i almost thought this was a skit,cuz this guy is jus a major joke. F

Christmas Coming to the USA '01

theres something about this song that i cant resist. maybe its horatio's DELIGHTFUL (will ferrell-james lipton) buddy holly glasses, or maybe the spasmodic behavior of jimmy fallon while playing the keyboard. maybe its chris kattan vigorously shaking his head at the indefinite beat at which horatio was playing his little adorable guitar. and, we cant forget, tracy morgan, usin the treadmill baybee! he is so funny when he's just there for some laughs. nice job, tracy, horatio, chris, and JIMMY! haha! A+

Jack Handey's Big Thick Novel

jack handey is making me mad these days. i mean, i love deep thoughts, and i liked "the lost" deep thoughts, but the big thick novel is just not working for me. its like 3 seconds long, and that picture of the demonic kids were enough to make me have convulsions and probably have nightmares for the next week. good thing i wasnt really paying attention. in the words of guppy calzone (kevin mcdonald) in the movie "the godson", GET THE HOOK! GET THE HOOK!  F


derek was an okay host. he did pretty good, but i dont think that he is funny. poor tracy only had 1 skit tonight, "christmas coming to the usa". i think that the biggest mistake made for this episode was bubba sparxxx and his country bumpkin slim-pickins rippity rap. it was just stupid.

Best Performer(s): Chris Kattan, Jimmy Fallon, Will Ferrell
Worst Performer(s): Darrell, cuz his only impersonation was John Ashcroft, and he kinda sounded constipated
Favorite Skit(s): Weekend Update, Dissing Your Dog, Christmas Coming to the USA
Least Favorite Skit(s): Big Thick Novel, Man Perm
Weirdest Skit(s): Emotional Masseusse
Favorite Joke(s): "The Brazilian calendar announced that May 9th is officially Orgasm Day. We hope you cum."-Jimmy Fallon

thank you, and i hoped you liked my review! love, MRS RANDY GOLDMAN!!!

Episode Review written by Mrs. Randy Goldman

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