Derek Jeter / Bubba Sparxxx, Shakira
December 1, 2001

Well, after previous times of sports figures hosting, I have really disliked the show, except the Michael Jordan episode from 91. And, with two sucky musical guests, this show is set up to be one of the worst in awhile. Maybe I would be proved wrong

[COLD OPENING] George W. and John Ashcroft

Well, I've been saying since that loser became President that SNL needs to have George in sketches with other members of his administration and not just him alone. This was a well-written sketch and I still believe Ferrell and Hammond should be in all the opening sketches and say LFNY. Funny how they kept pointing out ways that you might be a terrorist, and when Dubya said "you might be a redneck". Great opening!

RATING: 9/10

[MONOLOGUE] Derek Jeter

This really wasn't a great monologue but it was funny seeing him hit baseballs at the audience members. When they panned out to show the entire studio, I saw none other than "the big fat lady writer." And, as someone previously pointed out, the guy who pucked looked a lot like Dana Carvey. Other than that, not a great monologue.

RATING: 6/10

[COMMERCIAL] Preparation H Ointment

Well, they're repeating this from the season premiere. I find it even less funny now.

[SKETCH] The Iglesias Brothers

WOW. Some good impressions in this sketch. It was just a bunch of parody towards the real brothers, and the real mole on Jeter's face was good. I laughed, but in a different form

RATING: 6/10

[SKETCH] Baseball Wives

Before the show, I KNEW that Jeter would play a woman in a sketch like this and he did. This was really quite amusing and it was funny when Jeter said that"He (Jeter) looks like The Rock had sex with a muppet." This was good, and I almost shat my pants when Connie and Wells came out at the end dressed up as ladies too. Not a bad sketch.
RATING: 7/10

[SKETCH] Masseuse

Somehow the music in this reminded me of the Zellweger episode last year, the dating one. This started out funny, but was really pro-longed. It again proves what might be obvious to many (and I say, I will stay neutral on this subject) that Kattan is gay. A pointless sketch.

RATING: 4/10

[COMMERCIAL] Dissing Your Dog

This was VERY FUNNY, Ferrell always cracks me up in these roles, and he was the perfect one to do this. "Oh, you just sit on my chair because you've had a hard day with long meetings. Oh no wait, that's me!" I really cracked up, other than that, a great commercial.

RATING: 9/10

[SKETCH] Derek Jeter's Taco Hole

Ahh, Derek Jeter playing himself again. This was poorly written and minimally funny.

RATING: 3/10

[SKETCH] Dealing with Mom & Dad

This was a nice sketch and reminded me of when Kattan played the little boy a few years ago when the players came out of the closet as angels or something. Best part was when Jetter took him out in the yard to teach him how to play and came in 10 seconds later saying he sucks. One of the better sketches so far

RATING: 7.5/10

[MUSIC] Shakira

Note to self: Hit "Mute" button on remote and just visually watch. That should be pleasing enough.

RATING: 1/10

[WEEKEND UPDATE] With Jimmy Fallon and Tina Fey

Again, a real good update, FAR better than the BBT one. Tina was good, so was Jimmy, and point/counterpoint was great. Jeter gave a long explanation of this view, and then Seth just came out and said "YOU SUCK." Good job. The Pee-Wee Herman jokes almost made me piss my pants, and Tina's rant was good, along with the Brittany white suit. And, the tribute at the end said it all. This was truly classic seeing Lorne and George together talking about the $3,000 he offered them. EXCELLENT UPDATE.

RATING: 11/10

[SKETCH] Osama Talk

This started out slow, and got a bit funnier. Just not well written I guess, and it dragged on.

RATING: 5/10

[SKETCH] The Perm

Again, Derek making him look stupid. The only seemingly good part was the magazine stuff at the end.

RATING: 4/10

[MUSIC] Bubba Sparxxx

Boy, Bubba sure suxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx. Let me make an ass out of myself and were my jacket like a complete moron!

RATING: 0.5/10

[SKETCH] Season's Greetings from SNL

This will NEVER get old. Tracy is by far the best in these just because he dances and keeps a straight face. Horatio is runner-up because he sings the song good too. One of the better sketches of the night.

RATING: 9/10

[COMMERCIAL] My Big Thick Novel, by Jack Handey

Short. Sweet. Funny.

RATING: 7/10

[GOODNIGHTS] Again, cut-off. Good job NBC!
SKETCH OF THE NIGHT: George W. and John Ashcroft

QUOTE OF THE NIGHT: Darrell Hammond as John Ashcroft: "If your return address reads 'a cave', you might be a terrorist."



I have to say that coming in I knew it wasn't going to be a good show, and I didn't expect much, nor did I get it. When you have a show like this, not much to say other than it sucked. Anyway, next week is Hugh Jackman, which should end up being a decent show because he is a good actor, and I can't believe it, MICK JAGGER!!!!!!!!! Except, I'M GONNA MISS IT! DAMNIT!!!!! Looking forward to next week

Guess what folks, that's the news and I am outta here

R.I.P. George Harrison

Episode Review written by Nick Mayhew

BACK to Derek Jeter "SNL" Episode Reviews