First of all, hi everyone. I am Melissa. SNL is one of my favorite shows and it has been for quite some time. I have wanted to do this (review episodes for this website) for a very long time. I am a teenager and I really really love this show, even through its ups (Gwyneth Paltrow episode- best one this season) and its downs (Billy Bob Thornton episode- which was horrible) I hope that you all will welcome me into your little circle. My teachers are on strike and it's kind of funny.

Pre-show thoughts- Derek Jeter is the most overrated baseball player, but I love the Yankees (I am from the NY area, sorry guys!). They should have brought Tino! Is Jeter capable of hosting SNL? Can he even act? I hope that he won't disappoint. My brother has the hots for Shakira and I"m sure the guys like her, but it's not my type of music. And Bubba Sparxxx is the most horrible musician to come out in years. AHHH! I hope that they do something nice for George Harrisson. What a wonderful guy. Even though many would say that I am too young, I love the Beatles. There a legend. I don't care what anyone says.

Opening Sketch- Ashcroft/Bush
They are talking about the signs that you might be a terrorist. It was good. I love Will's Bush and Darell's Ashcroft. "You might be a terrorist if your definition of nudity is the showing of a forehead." Oh yeah, I'm such a feminist...
Rating: A

Monologue
Jeter talks about himself, his fans, and hits a few baseballs. No point whatsoever. This was horrible. I could have done better than him (except for the hitting of the baseballs hehe)
Rating- D+

Preparation H Commercial
I hate it when they play these commercials over and over again. I thought it was ok the first time I saw it. Now I'm beginning to hate it.
Original rating- B

Iglesias Brothers
Freddie Prinze Jr. had done a much better Enrique impression. Who's Julio Iglesias Jr? And what was the point of that disgusting mole on Jeter's face? It was humorous though. It's funny how girls my age react to these people. I hate the song Hero with a passion. It is the worst song ever and I hate hearing him whine and mope. Ugh.
Rating- B

Baseball Wives-
It was funny seeing Jeter dressing up as a woman. And Maya was great in this sketch. Just seeing the Yankees players dressed up as women did this for me. It was a good concept, but I hate it when hosts are themselves the whole night and that is what Jeter is doing. The sketches revolve around who he is because HE CAN'T ACT! "Derek looks like the Rock had sex with a muppet."
Rating- B+

Why did the guy say Ralph Jackman instead of Hugh Jackman? Interesting. Hugh Jackman is kind of hot but he's too old. LOL. X-Men was a great movie though. And Mick Jagger- the Beatles are way better than your band.

Massage-
Chris having a fantasy massaging Jeter. Interesting choice of music. Kattan is always a hoot, but this didn't really do it for me.
Rating- C+

Dissing Your Dog
I love Will!!! And his facial expressions. This was funny.
Rating- B+

Taco Hole-
I don't know why this made me laugh. It wasn't Jeter who made me laugh, it was the REAL players in the background. I'm sick of everyone making fun of Jersey. We are the richest state in the country. Although I am a New Yorker at heart.
Rating- A

Dealing With Mom & Dad
This was all right. Jeter is really annoying me tonight. He is so horrible. It's not that the writing is bad, but someone else should have been acting out the parts. I didn't like this. It's not good to beat up people with sticks. Jeter is just so... dull.
Rating- C

Shakira- I'm sure many males were turned on by this, I being a female was not. I would like to dance like that though. I have tried to learn how to belly dance... my brother likes her a lot and we get along really well so I will give her an A.
Rating- A

Weekend Update-
This was wonderful! I love weekend update this year. Last season I was annoyed because I liked Colin Quinn and I thought Jimmy and Tina would be a poor replacement, but they have been wonderful this season. Jimmy's hair is annoying me. I mean he's hot, but come on, stop it! I liked the Charlotte Church joke. We're the same age, and she is such a bitch. Sorry for the language. But I can't stand her. And she's ugly and annoying. I liked the Seth Meyers thing. This show has made me hate Jeter. A lot. I was on Meyers' side. And I'm glad that they had the George Harrisson clip... What a great guy. And Paul Simon, who's also great. Why am I so into old music? Maybe because it's so much better than most of the stuff out right now?
Rating- A+

Osama-
Will and Horatio were funny. Will did a good impression, but this dragged on too much. It could have been much better. Ok try for a first effort. I loved how Osama got the Harry Potter video and they're going to go watch it on his VCR. "It says we can laugh in the Koran, right? No, it says we can't!"
Rating- B+

Perm
This was horrible. In every way, shape, and form. And curly hair is cool. My hair is straight but many of my friends have ringlets, so there.
Rating- F

Bubba Sparxxx-
I already said I hate him. I HATE YOU BUBBA SPARXXX!
Rating- F

Holiday Quartet-
I've loved this since it first started. Don't ask why. It's sooooooo... cute?! And it brings the holiday cheer.
Rating- A

My Big Thick Novel-
I didn't watch this because I hate it so much. I would have given it an F
Rating- F

After-show thoughts- PLEASE SNL! Don't ask sports stars to host SNL. The Rock was good, but this was so horrible. You wasted decent material on a talentless dude. I hope that Hugh Jackman is good next week.

Best sketch- Weekend Update
Worst sketch- Bubba Sparxx, and the perm thing

Ranking of the season so far (In my opinion)- (Best to worst)
1. Gwyneth Paltrow/ Ryan Adams
2. Sean William Scott/ Sum 41.
3. John Goodman/ Ja Rule
4. Drew Barrymore/ Macy Gray.
5. Reese Witherspoon/Alicia Keys
6. Derek Jeter/Shakira/Bubba Sparxxx
7. Billy Bob Thornton/Creed

Have a nice day everyone!

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